Out with the trashy and in with the classy. Since autumn is actually here, it’s time to rid your wardrobe of things that have been worn too many times by too many girls. This list contains the ten items that you should avoiding wearing for the days when you strive to look your best.
Come on girls. I know you’re better than jeggings. At first they were innovative. You got to wear your pjs and jeans all at the same time. But you can spot a false pair of denims with a drawn-on zipper line and pockets from a mile away. Be better than jeggings (as described by College Humor) and put on some real pants.
I will defend this statement until the day I die: you ARE NOT fashionable if you wear these monstrosities. They were a bad idea in 2006, and they sure as hell aren’t a good idea now, especially when paired with shorts.
3. Longchamp Bag
For those of you who think nylon is a super chic material, I’m sorry to say it’s not. I get that these durable carry-alls fit everything you need for a full day of class, but too many girls walk around with a Longchamp in one hand and a skinny latte in the other.
4. Anything with a Hi-Low Hem
It was cool at first, but the Billy Ray Cyrus of fashion just has to stop. I can’t even go dress shopping without at least five of these ‘mullet dresses’ on the rack. Either opt for a cocktail length or maxi, nothing in between.
5. Stacks of Friendship Bracelets
Are you a middle-schooler at sleep away summer camp? Nope. Yeah, that’s what I thought. These rainbow yarned ‘bracelets’ are juvenile, and they need to stop ruining your outfits. How about trying a watch or a cuff for grownup wrist wear?
I’m guilty of owning these, but it’s time that I throw away my battered pair as well. First off, they’re guy shoes. So if you want to dress like your man, then go for it. But otherwise, save these dock siders for the Vineyard Vine wearing gentlemen.
7. Bandage Dresses
I want to wear the exact same thing as all the girls at the party. . . said no fashionable girl ever. Bandage dresses have become the uniform of party wear. There’s nothing unique to them; they simply look like a dip dyed ace bandage from a first aid kit that you decided to wrap around yourself. Yeah it accentuates our curves, but a lot of them can accentuate the wrong curves.
8. Sweat Pants with Words on the Butt
Everyone had those neon colored sweatpants in high school with the words PINK or JUICY slapped on the backside. The keyword in that sentence was high school. Ladies, we’re basically one level away from the professional world, it’s time to let go and throw out the wardrobe from the days when our moms still drove us around.
9. North Face Fleeces
There’s a time and place for everything, but these fleeces should not be in your daily repertoire. Any outfit, no matter how chic it is, immediately becomes frumpy when you choose one of these as your outerwear. There are so many better options out there like: leather jackets, peacoats, jean jackets, or basically anything else. Save the North Face’s for when you’re booking it through Paint Branch Trail.
10. Sneaker Wedges
Please, please, please make these stop. Athletic wear and wedges just don’t mix. When are you ever running laps in a bar? Never. I know you think you look like bad gal RiRi when you wear these, but sadly, you don’t.
I apologize if this list offended anyone, but it’s for everyone’s own good. I’m just trying to look out for my fellow fashionistas. Comment below if you disagree with my list or have any other items that people should just stop wearing!
Featured image via HBO Girls
You forgot white girls with nose piercings…especially when they do it on the wrong side :S
Do you mean white girls shouldn’t have nose piercings but other races can? Or is “white girls” just referring to the point that most girls with nose piercings are white?
I’m Hispanic and I have a nose piercing on the ‘wrong side’, am I exempt from this because I’m brown enough?
I personally disagree with all of these, North Face jackets are for cool people and I don’t think that white girls with nose piercings are real people ^victoria 🙂
you realize you guys sell bandage dresses…
Amen when I came here from California I was shocked that North faces were considered cool when they are ugly af. Uggs are only acceptable on lazy days with sweats when its to cold out for real clothes or around the house as slippers. And long champs are old lady bags. to be honest the “status quo” of fashion at maryland is ugly and unoriginal, everyone dresses like everyone else.
this is the stupidest thing i have ever read
You guys are actually judgmental af..especially with longchamp bags, they are very spacious and light. I personally love them. Just because a lot of girls use them doesn’t mean they automatically fall into a “what not to wear” list.
Lol you guys are ridiculous. I thought it was funny. It’s so true as a dude i’m sick of girls wearing the same old uggs/sweatpant/northface style with the longchamp bags. The dress I don’t mind (but what do I know I’m a guy). I know you’re just trying to be comfortable but just like you give guys shit for wearing athletic pants and a high school football t-shirts to class I’d like to see some effort from you too. Just sayin…
Or you know, I could wear whatever the eff I want.
It’s easy for anyone to complain about what they think is an exhausted fashion trend. This is lazy writing. Waiting for you to share what you think is “classy”. I guarantee it’s just the new trend wave for fall, but I challenge you to post your thoughts on that as a follow up.
this is absolutely fucking ridiculous . you seriously must be ugly and out of shape and mad that you cant look like the pretty girls who have a nice body who were most of this stuff . . . or you’re a broke bitch who cant afford any of it . smh
Thanks for taking the time to read my piece. Honestly, it does not have to do with mine or anyone’s fiscal situation and physical appearance. This was just an opinion piece of items that I personally don’t like to have in my own wardrobe. We’re all entitled to our own opinions of fashion, and that’s what makes fashion a great thing. I gratefully respect your opinion, as I hope others do with mine. Thanks for sharing your opinion and I hope you continue to read Unwritten!
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I don’t completely agree with this. I’ll wear my Northface all day everyday. They’re warm and simple so you can wear it with everything. Uggs might be annoying to look at, but they are very warm and cozy. It’s nice to just slip your feet into them and be on your way. And ummmm really who designated Sperry’s as “guys shoes”. Sperry’s have very feminine styles and they’re awesome. I think sneaker wedges are also pretty good; they’re a nice blend of tom-boyish and girly. And as far as bandage dresses go, they’re cheap and easy to order, especially for college girls on a budget.
Why is everyone getting so worked up? It’s her opinion and it’s meant to be funny. Take a chill pill!
First time reader, First time poster.
Uggs, North Faces, We hate them.
Wear something that makes us believe you didn’t walk around in a group in high school being a bitch to other girls, wear something that makes me think you deserve nice people in your life.
P.S. If a “broke bitch” doesn’t wear these “nice things” the broke bitch is getting flowers, dinner, and a movie.
Last time reader, Last time poster.
The newest trend is wearing my balls on your chin. Ladies only of course.
The only thing I don’t get is the North Face fleece mention. It’s a fleece… Sure a person can wear a jacket or other means to stay warm, but why the dislike/hate over a fleece? It seems like wasted effort on such a normal article of clothing/outerwear.