This is the goodbye I never had the chance to share…
When we first met, I knew you were someone special. You instantly made me feel beautiful, you made me laugh all the time. I soon found myself thinking that you hung the moon, that you were the most wonderful person on this Earth. I was ready to lay it all on the line, give it all, heart and soul, just to be with you.
But then, something changed. I could feel the shift, could see you pushing away, but I didn’t understand why. My response, as anyone’s would be, was to push harder back into you. But next thing I knew, you were gone. You suddenly vanished into thin air: you wouldn’t answer my texts or my calls…
I couldn’t even find you anymore on Facebook.
Who would do such a thing? What kind of person leave without explanation, without even so much as a simple goodbye? Who would leave someone in the darkness, with nothing but some phone selfies and a broken heart?
Apparently, my almost, that person is you. I can’t really decide if I hate you or if I’m still pining after you, even after all these months. I’ve started writing this so many times, but every time I try I find myself dissatisfied. I’m unsure what to even say; I don’t know what you expect.
Sometimes I spend my nights replaying everything in my head. I can still picture your face, your hair, even the way your ass looked in your favorite jeans. If I close my eyes, I can still hear your voice and picture the way it felt to stand close to you. I wonder if you ever think of me, too…
But I guess I’ll never know.
They say that this is actually quite common in modern relationships, that it’s so easy for someone to vanish into thin air, to “ghost you.” I didn’t think that was really something true, and I definitely never thought that it would happen to me.
I may never know why you left, or why you never answer my calls. I may never know the truth of how you felt or if it was all some lie. What I do know is this: I’m not letting you take it all from me, I won’t let you have my voice. I can still speak my truth, I can still say what I need to say to you.
Really, though, all I wanted to say was what was left unsaid by both me and you.
The Girl That Was Loved and Ghosted
Feature Image by Tan Danh from Pexels
Originally Published on Thought Catalog.