Since when did dates and relationships become such a luxury? Why did it have to turn from an expectation to a surprise? How did it lose its meaning? Are we ever going to see a change? Why, why, why, why, why?
I understand that millennials are living in a totally different dating generation than our parents, co-workers, or even older siblings may have experienced. And it is beyond frustrating to listen to them nag us for the lifestyles we live and brag about how dating was much simpler back then.
Let me say this once: A majority of millennial women want to experience dating like how it was back in the day. We cannot stand the way our society functions in terms of relationships.
We don’t meet people at bars very often unless you have your drunk goggles on and more than likely spend the night making out, or staying the night at his place. People have lost their sense of social interaction. They don’t know how to start a normal conversation face to face without expressing their sexual desires, so we rely on dating apps and social media.
The one thing about dating apps that I will say, not all of them are bad and not all people who use them are out there just for hookups. There are genuine people looking for connections who may be shy, self-conscious or just socially awkward. The problem lies where people use those apps to manipulate people into thinking they’ll get a relationship when they just want to get another notch in their belt. So if you’ve had prior experiences that caused you to develop trust issues, guess what, here’s another reason to have them.
And regardless of how you met someone, it’s so hard to find a genuine connection with someone and know their intentions. We live in a generation that’s fearful of commitment, vulnerability, and trust. Yet the same people who claim to have those issues too, are the ones who create them in other people by starting situationships, almost relationships and breadcrumbing.
Here’s why they do it: because they want the comfort of what a relationship provides without having the attachment to be tied down so they can still go have their fun. And that’s a messed up fact.
They desire the loyalty aspect, having a best friend and companion, someone who cares for them unconditionally and someone who can fulfill their sexual needs. Yet, while they may have found that person, they continue to search for someone better, or someone to also re-flourish their sexual desires. If you knew you had someone who you liked and who was everything you were looking for, why go for someone else? Because they want their freedom to do other things and their selfish. There are no regards for other people’s feelings.
Guess what, it hurts to know your so close but so far away from someone. You desperately stick with them because you want to give them the benefit of the doubt and deep down you’re convinced they will change. Or you try to change them, which will never happen. But we work on men like a project. We willingly exhaust ourselves mentally over a guy who isn’t worth it yet we still don’t see it. It’s like we accept the situation because we know we won’t get better.
We look at our friends who have been in long-term relationships or have found that one gem of a guy who isn’t selfishly afraid of commitment and we think ‘how did you get so lucky’? The thing is, dating shouldn’t be considered a luxury yet in today’s standards it is. Having a guy pay for the bill, or actually, want a relationship shouldn’t be considered a surprise unlike when our parents were dating when it was an expectation.
Back in the day if you liked someone you took them on a date to genuinely get to know them and show them you’re interested. It shouldn’t be for the false idea that you have those feelings, or to lead someone on just so you can have the best of both worlds. And I can’t wait to find myself, someone who actually wants me for me, won’t leave unexpectedly, won’t start dating another girl, or someone who will have the common courtesy to communicate clearly with me.
When will people learn?
Featured image via WeHeartIt.