How To Embrace And Redefine Being A Good Girl

Scrolling through social media it is so unbelievably frustrating seeing the people we hate most be in relationships, especially long term ones. They have nasty personalities only men from hell can handle because the women they are dating’s icy hearts even them out and create a “neutral” for them.

But you just don’t get it. How can someone like that find love, and yet again you are left alone and brokenhearted. The only friends you seem to have are the faces of the old posters in your bedroom, and the only comfort you get is from your blankets and old stuffed animals you can never throw away from your childhood.

“Why does it always happen to me?” The question always runs through your head but you can’t put your finger on why. I’ll tell you exactly why.

You’re a good girl.

Good girls are seen as being weak by others, in a fragile state of mind whose personality is over sensitive. They are always viewed as the ones who could never hurt anyone, but they accept the hurt others provide them with a smile on her face because she doesn’t want to disappoint them. They always think “you understand,” because you’re an understanding person. People think because you are too nice that you won’t do anything spiteful and will move past this heartbreak with ease.

But the truth is if they think you are so sensitive, wouldn’t they know that it will absolutely crush you? That you’ll cry in secrecy and live through the day as if everything’s fine because you don’t want to draw attention to it or sympathy. That’s because you’re a warrior.

You’re not weak, you’re a fighter. And they are too blind to see it. No matter how many times you can be stabbed in the back, betrayed, disappointed or hurt, you always pick yourself off of the ground and come back swinging. When people doubt you’ll ever move on or be able to love again after the pain you’ve gone through, your faith in humanity and good nature keeps you going.

Although at times you will feel discouraged and doubtful that you will ever find that kind of love you desire and deserve, you will never give up on that wish. You’ll find yourself getting back out there when you’re ready and you’ll be able to give it your all until when you do find the person you want to spoil with all your undying love and affection.

I know it’s hard to have hope that a good guy is out there in today’s society, especially in a hookup culture and a generation that’s fixated on fabricating their feelings to avoid getting hurt or only using people for hookups while having what feels like a relationship. But there is one out there that you will meet and will change your mind.

It’s difficult to move past the automatic preconceived notion that he too will be just like the rest and that this charming man you’ve met is just an act. But you can’t let the disaster someone else caused affect your future forever and prevent you from moving onto someone better. Show the next guy that you won’t tolerate being treated like you were before and that you expect and deserve better. No one said good girls couldn’t stand up for themselves in a respectful manner.

Don’t be the timid good girl he’ll automatically think you are. Be the good girl who owns who she is and is proud of it. Continue to re-read your favourite love stories over and over again to give you chills like it’s the first time you’ve read it, light your favourite candles to give your cozy evenings in a spark of excitement, and cry at every ending of a romantic comedy you could watch on loop because it’s just that good.

But most importantly, keep loving the way you’ve loved before and never stop. Good girls love the best. So take the opportunity to redefine what being a good girl is and change someone’s perspective of you and the type of woman you are. And even if it just doesn’t work out, you’ll always be remembered for being a fantastic partner in crime and for being a good girl.

Featured Image via Pexels

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