Breakups have never been easy. Whether you have been dating for 2 months or 2 years. People deal differently during the breakup, however, heartbreak is inevitable. The pain, loss of appetite, sleepless nights are sometimes unavoidable. Minutes may seem like hours. People are passing by while your world may seem to have shut down completely. I have been there, counting the seconds and forcing myself to sleep hoping the nightmare would miraculously vanish.
No matter how hard I tried to ignore it and pretend to move on with my life. I couldn’t. The past would keep haunting me and the memories would tear me apart. Time is a great healer they said, but in my case, time was just making it worse. It took me a while to realize that time is not a great healer but a great killer. Heart break is just nothing like the wounds you get when you skinned your knees, the pain from a heartbreak is much worse.
When you have wounds, no matter how much it hurts you, would you ignore it or take care of it until it healed? Wounds would never heal themselves, they won’t heal if you keep touching them either. Wounds will heal only when you take care of them and give the medications they need. Breakups and heartbreak are no different either. Finding the cure or the medicine is hard but not impossible.
Below are some steps you should take to deal with a breakup and heartbreak.
- Do not freak out
“What the hell just happened?” Shock is one of the ways your body deals with the pain. You may not understand what just happened, it might be too scary, too confusing, and too painful. This is where you will start noticing the difference in your daily habits. Such as sleeping and eating. Don’t freak out. Not everything has to make sense, you have just ended your relationship with someone whom you thought was the love of your life, but eventually, it will make sense. Take calming procedures such as meditation, long walks, or confide in your friends or family.
- Do not isolate yourself
There will be a time where you can’t stand yourself being in the presence of other people. The reason may vary from they can’t understand you or seeing other couples are just hurting you more. Sometimes being alone, locking yourself up from the world may seem like the best idea. You do deserve your “alone” time to make sense and deal of what just happened, but isolation will only make things worse and it might drive you to do something you will regret later.
- Cry it out
Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. In fact, it’s the exact opposite, crying means you are ready to open yourself to your feelings and that’s what makes you stronger. It is okay to cry, to scream, and to let your heart out. Perhaps you will even need more than one day or one week, but it is okay. People deal differently with pain, but it is time for you to deal with it. If you are pushing your feelings down, it will just make you feel worse and afraid. If you feel like crying, cry. If you feel like screaming, scream.
- Take up new hobbies
Once you are done letting your heart out, it’s time to pick up the sword again. It happened and there’s nothing you can do about it. But you can do something for yourself to feel the void. Take up new hobbies, write a journal, try a new restaurant that you have always wanted to try. Go out. Travel to a new place or revisit the place you love when you were a kid. Call your high school friends, plan a reunion or a party. Allow yourself to feel and breathe the fresh air.
Gradually you will begin accepting that it was just a phase in your life, which memories you would cherish but no longer hurt you. It doesn’t matter whether they are happy or miserable without you because you are doing fine and have moved on.
Each of the steps may be painful and you might feel like giving up while going through them. At times you will feel that it’s even impossible to overcome the breakup. It is not impossible. It’s not just easy as everyone said it would. Maybe it will take you one week in each step to finally let it go, maybe it will take one month. Consistency is all that matters. Your relationship is in the past, however long it was. Your future, however, it’s in your hands and it’s up to you how you make it.
Featured image via WeHeartIt.