Being the single friend isn’t always so bad, it’s definitely something that you grow comfortable with after a little while. Maybe you even accept that you’re the “perpetually single friend” and you’re happy with that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. There’s also nothing wrong with dating here and there after you’ve given yourself some time and space. And when the moment comes where someone you’ve been crushin’ on gives you a chance, you have to forget all those little fears in the back of your mind (they may not feel so small with your initial panic).
When it comes to that initial rush of panic, I always have one main sense of dread wash over me about a possible outcome that could come from dating that person that triggered it. It always seems to be that fear of someone waking up one day realizing they don’t love who they’re with, or wondering if they ever did in the first place, or the fear rather of receiving either of those (again). It may sound crazy to some because, no, people don’t just wake up one day void of the lust and love they once felt for the person next to them. But if someone had been losing those feelings or interest in their loved one, they may not realize it for quite some time. And that’s scary.
I’d have to say the absolute worst part about that fear is the reasoning behind some of those adverse outcomes relationships may have. My biggest worry is something that frequently happens to my fellow writer friends, and it hurts more and more every time. Some people experience a moment when they realize those quirky little things that once drew them close to someone they loved, all became the same annoying ticks that built up their anger, or even hatred, after so long. This can’t always be avoided, but communication and equal balance between those in the relationship can be a huge help to keep this from happening to anyone. Although some people may always simply refuse to grow and move on with their partners.
If you like someone, go for it! But if you have the same concerns that I do, listen to me. Jumping back into the dating pool doesn’t have to be an anxiety-ridden path, I promise. Maybe some horrible, unspeakable things happened to you in past relationships, but you don’t have to worry about them anymore. Focus on moving forward, the future can’t hurt you.
Granted, my fear alone is pretty drastic, jumping straight to conclusions that may NEVER even happen. Hell, at that point I don’t even know if I’m even ever going to date that person whenever it happens. If you ever feel that way, just remember it’s just a simple thought that might never, ever actually happen and dive in!
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