Why You Shouldn’t Look To Fictional Couples For Relationship Goals

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Different people have different ways of expressing and loving. Some like to do it openly and some like me are a lot more subtle about it. It’s not right to penalize someone over the fact that their way of expressing love is not in sync with what you expect from them.

Where do these expectations come from anyway? Mostly they’re a product of what we see and/or experience in life. We grow up seeing our parents and relatives be a certain way in their marriage, after which our expectations are based on our own life experiences.

However, in today’s world of media, telecommunication plays a huge role in our perception of love. From all the rom-coms to the fiction romance novels, we start to believe that this is how love is supposed to be. It is about time we realize that love and relationships are far from what we see on screen. Every rule has an exception and this one is no different. There will be a handful of real-life couples whose expectations will not only be met but also surpassed. However, for the majority of us, we need to start being realistic about what we expect out of our partner. Here are few ways in which love is different on and off screen:

  1. Happy ending: I have rarely come across a book, show, or a movie that doesn’t have a happy ending. The couple tends to fight all odds and ends up together. However, that is far from reality. Some couples do tend to have their happily ever after, but there are some that just don’t and have to live with it. Someone said, things will always work out in the end and if not, it’s not the end. I don’t think that is the case in reality.
  2. Damsel in distress: Movies usually portray love stories emerging with a prince charming coming to the rescue of the damsel in distress and they live happily ever after. However, in the 21st century, it’s not that easy to get a girl to fall in love with you since there are not many “damsels in distress” out there. Women are bold and independent and perfectly capable of taking care of themselves now.
  3. Fights will always get resolved almost instantly: We see full blown fights get resolved in almost no time in a movie. That is because they portray a full life in 2 hours. If you expect your fights to resolve so soon, you will be highly disappointed. Couples argue and fight and sometimes it gets serious, and that is the charm of a real relationship.
  4. Things just flow naturally: TV portrays that things will flow naturally and fall into place. Not much needs to be done to get the girl besides persistence. That is far from reality, real life involves a lot more factors than just natural flow.
  5. Your partner will always get you: It’s funny how two actors have some weird telepathy, this unsaid connection between them in shows and movies. They somehow always know what their partner needs or how they’re feeling and how to fix it. However, in reality, there are no mind readers so if you don’t communicate with your partner on what is bothering you, you are in for a deep disappointment.
  6. No rejection: I can’t recollect a movie or show where a guy asked a girl out and got rejected. However, in reality, we have to go through many rejections before falling for someone who feels the same way about us. It can lead to disappointment initially but over time I think it’s what makes being in a relationship that much more special.

It is has been proven that people who idolize on-screen relationships are the ones that are unhappy in their own relationship and tend to cheat on their partners. We need to learn how to distinguish between fiction and reality. Most of what we see in movies and shows are made in order to entertain the audience and make them feel good rather than portraying realities of life. If we start to use on-screen romance as a benchmark for real life romance, we will almost always get disappointed. Characters on screen don’t have to do 100 things every day that we need to do in real life. Stories give you a chance to showcase elaborate romantic gestures, which we cannot accommodate in real life. I am not saying that romance is dead in reality, in fact, some couples tend to go above and beyond with doing sweet things for their partner, however, it is not something to be expected on a regular basis. You need to keep a check on your expectation and make sure they match up with reality.

Always remember two biggest things that can destroy any relationship are unrealistic expectations and poor communication.

Featured image via screengrab from Vampire Diaries.




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