6 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Your Sex Life

Let’s face it, sex is either really awesome or just meh.

There is no in between.

In most scenarios you spend the first few years of having sex, whether it be with the same person or not, ranting and raving about how amazing your sex life truly is. Until you reach a dramatic shift in the bedroom, whether it be because of discovery or a new partner, you genuinely don’t realize how crappy it used to be before. You feel sexually liberated and empowered and you’re suddenly like “now this is what awesome sex feels like!”

If you haven’t reached that level of excitement about sex yet, that’s okay. It takes a while to find your groove so to speak. Exploring your sexuality is a beautiful discovery everyone, especially women, should experience. Until that happens, you’re confusing the exciting high of turning someone else on for the high of amazing sex. As hot as it is to get someone else off, you need to focus on yourself first and learn how to make yourself have a great sex life, too.

Forget the “rules” you thought there were…

Let go of every preconceived notion you had about what you should and shouldn’t do during sex, or even the preparation beforehand. Over time you naturally learn to just give up on the unrealistic expectation that you watched in movies, read in Cosmo, and talked about with your girlfriends.

You do not have to be perfectly groomed each and every single time you have sex…

We’ve all been there where we’re about to go out with our significant other, and the thought occurs to us, “better shower and shave in case we have sex.” If you have two-day stubble who gives a shit? I can understand why you’d worry if they were new in your life and it was the first time, and you wanted to be perfect, but over time you both need to realize it’s not that important.

Sex is never an obligation…

If only we could count how many times have we told our girlfriends, “I had sex to be nice and out of guilt because I would have felt bad if I said ‘no.’” Even in your most serious relationships, if you’re just not in the mood to have sex, don’t have sex. Plain and simple.

Communicate as much as possible…

In order to have a better sex life, be as specific as possible. Never hesitate to voice your opinion or fear sounding like a mean person for putting him down. There is a nice way to tell him you’re not into what he’s doing to you. Just say, “I really love it when you do….” and give him a positive reaction when he does it.

Masturbate to educate yourself…

How can you expect for someone else to please you if you don’t know how to please yourself? The beauty of masturbation is that it gives you the chance to explore your body and self-discover your own pleasure. It makes it so much easier to communicate to your sexual partner because you’ll be aware of what actually feels good.

Let go of feeling shame and embrace yourself…

I don’t mean grab your boobs when your body is being rocked like a hurricane. If you’re kinky and you love being a naughty little girl, own it! If you’re into being submissive in the bedroom in a sensual way rather than a 50 Shades kind of way, own it! The confidence within yourself is sexy as hell and shows you are secure with who you are.

It’s hard owning your sexuality as a female without feeling judged for being a slut by others. You are not a slut for being proud of your sexuality and being in touch with yourself (no pun intended). We have been taught in a sense to only focus on pleasing the other person for far too damn long. Once you discover yourself in a sexual way, let your sexy lioness prowl loud and proud. No one messes with a badass woman who owns her body in and out of the bedroom.

Featured image via screengrab from Fifty Shades Darker

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