I’m the girl who loves too hard, and by that, I mean that I’m willing to break myself down piece by piece just to make the person I love happy. Now you should know, the person I currently have feelings for, does not have feelings for me. It’s very one-sided. I was aware of this from the start, but that doesn’t mean I could stop my feelings either. The hardest part about this situation is that once upon a time he did show an interest in me, however, everything about us was confusing. His actions and words were never aligned, and I made up excuses for him in my head. I was blinded by his beautiful face and charming words. I have to confess, I was told to stay away from him from the first time I met him. But let’s be honest, that just made me want him more.
Looking back on everything, I did learn a lot about myself. I have learned the hard way that I have a problem, and I find myself giving everything to him without receiving anything in return. He doesn’t have to ask, why should he? I would give anything without hesitation. I gave him more than he deserves simply because I liked him so much. Now I don’t think that’s it’s his fault or my fault, it’s just something I do.
I’m willing to change my day, my life, my plan just to accommodate to someone that doesn’t care. I have to hope that I’ll see him and be able to make him happy but he has no intention of returning the favor. He doesn’t want me the way I want him, and it was hard to get that through my head because of the way he acted towards me. Why does he talk to me if he doesn’t feel the same way? My answer to this question came from a close friend of mine, and it sadly makes a lot of sense. People enjoy being desired, they feel a sense of power knowing that they can affect someone’s feelings without doing much. The moment you stop yourself from reaching out to them, they will most likely contact you. But you have to know that it’s not because they are interested, but simply because they want to make sure that they are still desired by you. THAT’S IT, not any other story you make up in your head. I know it’s hard and it hurts, but one day they will become a memory, and hopefully something you can laugh about (although I am nowhere near that stage).
At the end of the day you need to remember this… there will be that perfect person for you. That person who will ask you for the world, but will also give you theirs in return. Until that day comes, keep working on yourself! You are your number one priority.
Featured image via Brandon Woelfel