A big pet peeve of mine when I’m going out with someone is when my date can’t be quiet. I’m talking about the type of guy that never lets me get a word in because he is too preoccupied with himself. At times like these, I would always wish that I could have gone for the quiet type instead. However, as I got to know the “quiet type,” I realized that there are a lot of stereotypes out there that aren’t true. For example that they are all good listeners and introverts.
Generalization is typically bad because every person is different and everyone has their own personality. Just like dating a talker, dating the quiet type can have its cons too. But there are also a bunch of pros. The one lesson that I did learn from all of this is that it definitely takes the time to get to know these type of guys. Here are the four “quiet types” that I got to meet throughout my life and I’m sure there a lot more that I didn’t get to know yet.
1. The “always in thought” guy.
He is the one who is not a good listener. He might let you talk his ear off, but that does not necessarily mean he is fully listening. He might just be very deep in thought throughout the whole date and could not care less what color you decided to paint your nails this morning. He is the type who nods in the right places and even asks all the right questions. However, most likely he will forget everything that you have told him by the second date. He is the type who will sometimes stare into the distance because his mind is somewhere else. I would imagine at one point he would want his peace and quiet, though. I have had guys tell me to just be quiet for a second and enjoy the silence. At the end of the day, this person is comfortable with not talking without there being an awkward pause so that is always a pro.
2. The one who never voices his opinions.
Most likely you will be the planner or the initiator when dating this type of quiet guy. When you try to make plans, a lot of the responses might sound like “I’m fine with that”, “Whatever you like”, or “I don’t care”. That doesn’t mean that the person is being difficult. This is just a typical response for someone who doesn’t like to voice their opinions. These might be the type of guys who don’t like confrontations in any shape or form. They would rather keep their opinions to themselves rather than start anything close to an argument. This type of guy seems very accommodating, but at the end of the day, it would be nice to actually hear what goes on in his head. The main problem with this type is that you sometimes don’t know if they are mad or what they could be mad at you for in general.
3. The “quiet doesn’t mean boring” type.
He is the one that needs time to open up. He can seem like an introvert when you meet him, but give it a couple of weeks and he could turn out to be a real party animal. Even though you see a dramatic change in his behavior that does not necessarily mean he was just playing the quiet type and trying to fool you. This is the very special kind of guy because you know that you are in his circle of trust and that he is comfortable around you when you witness his true nature. Obviously, this guy is going to need time to be himself around your friends and family as well, so it’s not his fault if his behavior changes around the different people he meets in your immediate circle.
4. The selfless empath.
He is the type that would actually listen to his partner’s every word. He can also offer great advice and is always there as a shoulder to can cry on. However he might also not like the big parties and loud bars, he would rather just talk to you the whole night instead. He is the “nice guy” that everyone takes for granted. This one’s a keeper, that’s for sure.
The one lesson that I did learn from all of this is that it definitely takes time to get to know the quiet brooding types but at the end, it is so worth it. Dating the quiet type can be difficult at times, but what relationship is not difficult, to begin with? But it is all worth it at the end when you realize that you sometimes don’t need words to communicate with someone. The quiet types can teach us to value silence, which is something we often take for granted.
Featured image via Hannah Cook on Unsplash
Yeah whatever