Between the time of Thanksgiving and New Year’s, airports all over the world see their busiest travel times. Security lines are crazy and during a time when everyone should be giving thanks and be merry, everyone seems to be a little bit cranky. The holidays might not be ideal for traveling, but they are the best time to do some people watching. I’ve spent a lot of time during this month of November sitting at the airport waiting to get on flights, and I can tell you that I have definitely seen some weird shit that you don’t typically see while traveling during a “normal” time of the year.
- The guy who seems to think his time is more valuable than everyone else’s
Flights get delayed a lot around the holidays, due to weather, mechanical issues, or whatever. During this time of the year, a delay at another airport could affect a flight at another. With this, there’s always that one person who seems to think that the flight is delayed for the sole purpose of inconveniencing him or her. They are rude to the employees and everyone around them and they want results now, dammit!
- The really weird family that you think ABC may have already made a sitcom about
Visually, their mannerisms and clothing are uncomfortable to look at and their behavior is no better. Watching them interact with each other is so painfully awkward that you almost can’t look away. They all are rocking the same hairdo and matching t-shirts. Don’t bother looking around… you aren’t getting PUNK’D. This is real life and so is that family.
- The screaming baby
You really run into these any time of the year, but for some reason, this baby is screaming louder and longer during holiday flights. You bounce back and forth between feeling genuinely sorry for the parents and being angry that they can’t shut their kid up. No judgment! They want peace and quiet as much as any other person on this plane. It’s not like they enjoy hearing their kid scream bloody murder.
- The couple who has no sense of boundaries
If you see these people, you might think that they either A) just met or B) just got married because they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other. Whether it’s full on snuggling at the gate or locking lips in a make out sesh in their seats on the plane, they make the people around them physically uncomfortable. If you listen closely, you can hear their lips smacking each other. Usually uses the bathroom… together. Fricken gross.
- The business guru who can’t step away from the phone at all
They spend the entire time at the gate talking loudly on their phone. And they don’t stop. Not to board the plane, not once they’re seated. It’s almost as if they want everyone within a 200-foot radius to know that they are in the midst of sealing the deal on a very important account. Usually, hangs up the phone when a flight attendant physically wrestles the phone from them.
- The stressed out parents who don’t seem to give a shit that their kids are out of control
Dad’s at the bar while his hellion offspring are climbing all over the seating and running around like they’re racing Usain Bolt, and Mom is reading a book at the gate trying to pretend she is childless and on a warm beach with a margarita in hand. They learned to block it out and so should you. I’m only kidding, they need to get their spawn in line before I do it.
- The borderline comatose
Always asleep, never gives a shit. They can be found passed out at the gate, taking up four seats. As people are standing around the gate because there’s nowhere to sit, they’re happily (and ignorantly) snoozing away. They’re only awake long enough to move their ass onto the plane, where they will promptly pass out once again as soon as their ass hits the seat. If you’re unfortunate enough to be seated next to them, your shoulder will become their makeshift pillow.
- The drunk who’s been pregaming since noon
This guy gets it. Spending time with family can be stressful, especially if you have a family that doesn’t get along. They ordered in-flight drinks. And had pre-flight drinks at the airport lounge. And had pre-pre-flight drinks at a bar on the way in. And pre-pre-pre….well, you get it. The point is, they smell like booze and you’re waiting for the moment it all comes back up like Mount Ve-booze-ius.
- The grandma who couldn’t give two shits about your seatbelt light
Grandma sees your seatbelt light. Grandma doesn’t give a shit. Grandma does what she wants.
As you can see, traveling during the holidays is a stressful time for everyone. Letting that stress get to you and becoming one of these people, only creates more stress for the people around you. Don’t be one of these people. Safe travels, friends, and happy holidays!
Feature image via WeHeartIt