Couples fight, that’s just how it is. If you disagree with me and think that couples that don’t fight at all have a perfect relationship, then you are missing the true essence of a relationship. But, I don’t blame you. As humans, we tend to equate fights and disagreements with a bad relationship and not having any arguments as a sign of a happy one. Although, is that really true?
A relationship consists of two people and no two people are exactly alike. People come from different, backgrounds, cultures, upbringing and lifestyles. When we fight with our siblings who have the same life as us, how can we expect to not have differences with people that are different from us? Fights can bring up things you may have been suppressing, which can help relationships grow and get better. And if you’re rational about it, you can come out of the fight happier and in a healthier relationship. Here’s why I personally think that fights are crucial in a healthy and happy relationship:
- A relationship consists of two strong individuals: Fights just go to show that the relationship consists of two individuals who have a mind and identity of their own. They don’t feel the need to alter their views just to please their partner. They realize the importance of having their individual identity in order to make their relationship strong and help it grow.
- There is communication: It just goes to show that the relationship has two people that actually talk to each other. They value each other’s viewpoints but at the same time, they value their opinions as well. A relationship will only blossom if two people communicate their differences and work with each other to reach a middle ground.
- High level of comfort: Two people that aren’t comfortable with each other will never truly be able to open up to one another. A fight just shows that both people are comfortable with each other enough to fight over things they think are important. Think about it, you only fight with people you truly care about, you wouldn’t bother if you didn’t.
- Two people are honest with each other: It is easy to fake being happy at least initially. It is when two people feel the need to be honest with each other is when you know they really want to make this work. Honesty is one of the single most important characteristics of a healthy relationship. If two people feel the need, to be honest with each other even if it leads to a fight, it means they think this is worth fighting for until the end.
- High level of commitment: Fighting can be really stressful and if you feel the need to fight with your partner, it just shows your level of commitment to your relationship. If someone wasn’t committed enough to their partner and their relationship, they would not feel the need to go through the trouble of picking a fight with them.
- Helps you understand your partner better: None of us come with the magical quality of being able to read the other person’s mind. If two people just agree to everything and go ahead with it, how will they ever be able to learn more about their partner? A fight will help you understand your partner better. You will learn their dreams and aspiration, their likes and dislikes and everything in between.
- You will feel happier from within: Don’t we always feel better when we talk to someone about our problems? Heck, that’s what therapists have made a profession out of. How about being able to communicate with the person we are having issues with? That will clearly be the ideal situation. So go ahead, talk, fight, yell, argue, whatever it is, make it work. It will give you a sense of peace and will get the two of you to come to a consensus on the disagreement.
- You don’t need to pretend to be perfect: No one is perfect. Literally no one. We all have flaws, we all get angry, we all dislike things, we all fight. There is no need to plaster these as that is what makes us humans. There is absolutely no need to pretend to be perfect, your partner doesn’t want to be with the perfect you, they want to be with you with all your positives and negatives.
- Gives your ego a reality check: Most of us, if not all, come with a massive ego. A fight helps to give that massive ego a reality check. When you actually listen to your partner and sit and evaluate it, you tend to realize you went wrong somewhere and get yourself to apologize for it and vice versa. It helps you get down off your high horse and brings you back to reality.
See, it is important not to bottle things up in you and bring it out at the wrong time. Be considerate towards your partner and talk to them about your issue. However, don’t fight just to prove a point or to be right. Listen to what they have to say and react accordingly. Fighting is hard and stressful as it is. There is no need to fight like it’s the end; argue and settle your differences and build a stronger relationship. Think about it, a healthy relationship inspires you to grow, if you don’t feel the need to be yourself in front of your partner, your relationship is going to hit the rocks. There is a reason people say, you only fight with the people you love the most. It is crucial to realize that all relationships go through hell, only the real ones actually get through it.
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