Why Love At First Sight Is Total Bullsh*t

“It was love at first sight for me”

We have all heard this statement in our lives, be it in a television show, a movie or in real life. Just the way we have come to use the term ‘love’ very casually, do we use the phrase ‘love at first sight’ very casually as well? Does it actually happen? My personal opinion is: NO!

Cassandra Clarke once said, I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.” This brings me to the main point, what I really believe in, love, at first sight, is really just a myth, reality, in fact, is an attraction at first sight.

Attraction and chemistry are things that you may feel right when you lay eyes on a person; love, however, may take up to a lifetime. This is what I have personally observed. We don’t fall in love with a person, but the way a certain person makes us feel. We fall in love with the idea of love. Thus, if we don’t fall in love with the absolute person, how can we fall in love with a person the very first moment we lay eyes on them when we know absolutely nothing about them? What we conceive, rather misconceive, as love at first sight, is, in fact, nothing but attraction and chemistry with a certain person. The absolute pull to want to know more and everything about someone. It’s the force that differentiates a certain person from everyone else and that’s what we misconceive as love.

This pull of attraction can happen in more ways than you can even imagine. It could be from something as small as hearing a certain person’s voice to how they look to bigger things like how they react in a certain situation or how their behavior is with people around them. Subconsciously, all of us have a list of things we want in our partners, be it good personality or good looks.For some of us, a nice heart and a good sense of humor does the magic. We may not accept it or we may not even consciously be aware of the things we are looking for in a person, but our subconscious knows exactly what it wants. These are the characteristics that lead to an attraction that differentiates that one person from a roomful of people.

By no means am I saying that this happens just once in our lives when it’s the perfect time and with the perfect person. Mind you, there never will be a perfect time, time is in your hands and you need to make it perfect. Also, no person is going to be perfect, it’s about accepting someone as your Mr./Ms. Perfect with all of his or her flaws and imperfections.

In the due course of your life, you will find various people that you will be attracted to right from the very moment you first meet them. Things such as someone’s eyes, smile, nature, personality, sense of humor or even just plain looks are enough for that magnetic force in your head where all you can see and think of is them. The sole purpose of your life becomes to get to know them better, to go beyond just that attraction and give love a chance. A lot of us think this is it, it’s love but that’s not true. It’s actually us wanting to give love a chance and see whether it will blossom or wither away. There will be times when we are getting to know the person past the attraction phase and we realize that person isn’t for us. He/ she could be friend material but not much more than that.  

All I am trying to say is that love is a process. People will come in your life and exit faster than you can even comprehend. Various people will cross your path, certain will pull you towards them and for the others, you won’t think too much of them. Its up to you to make that driving force. Although, this does not happen to everyone. Every happily married couple or even successful relationship does not necessarily begin with chemistry or attraction. This process happens differently to different people.

Certain people come together due to their common love or hatred for a certain person or thing. Many however end up falling in love after getting off on the wrong foot and hating each other at the start. For the majority of us, it’s a process where we start off just as acquaintances and not thinking too much into it and eventually falling in love with the person we have come to know over time. Love comes in various shapes and sizes, packaging and boxes, situations and timings, love at first sight, however, isn’t one of them.

Featured Image via We Heart It

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