To The Man Who Was Supposed To Walk Me Down The Aisle

A lot of people know how it feels to lose a parent, but no one warns you about the difficulty of grappling with it. Suddenly the world feels so small and the fact that they will not be there for college graduation, or your wedding, or when you have your first baby is heartbreaking. I wrote about when my dad passed away in September of 2015, and how I tried to deal with his death.

The dust is beginning to settle after 6 months of pain,
9/11 was a hideous event for not only the entire country,
But the entire world.
Yet I remember the day you showed up home from work because the stock market went down,
You walked me to first grade.
And I was so happy to hold my daddy’s hand all the way to class,
But 15 years has gone by since that day
And a new horror haunts it for us.
Tormented by the phone call I got on September 11, 2015,
“Your dad is in the hospital, I need you to get there immediately.”
I glanced around the ER in search,
When your best friend took my hand and said
“Liv, he had a heart attack.
He didn’t make it.”

My head went numb
Not registering that my keys had fallen to the ground.
But who would walk me to school,
And walk me down the aisle?

My father’s death was the worst thing I ever had to encounter because of how sudden it was. One minute he was there and I was going to see him after work ended that day, and a few hours later I’m at the hospital finding out he’s gone permanently. Sometimes I’m still in denial over the entire incident but writing allowed me to cope a lot better and find a way through the pain.

Featured Image Via Cloi Crider

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