In the recent years, my friend circle has gone from a big “squad” to a few close friends. I used to have best friends all over the west coast. Now, I can say I have a few. People always ask me “are you still friends with so and so” and the answer is always no. I think we have different friends for each season of our lives, and that’s okay.
I’m not saying I trash my friends whenever I’m ready to move on in my life, it’s just that sometimes your relationships don’t last through the distance and time. We all go through this and it is never easy, but what is easy is pinpointing the reasons why it didn’t work out.
- You moved away.
I have moved a total of four times since high school. That is four different cities and three states. I learned quickly that you’re friends with some people because it’s convenient. You were besties when they lived across the street or in the same dorm. But after you move and it’s not that easy to just hang out anymore – they lose interested. No matter how hard you try to stay in touch, it’s not always in your favor.
- You grow apart.
We grow up and become different people than we were in high school. We discover new things about ourselves and other people that we soon figure out. I have more confidence and drive than I did in high school. Some of the other friends you know still want to go out all the time and putting up with f*ckboys. I did my partying, I had fun in college. But that’s not what I’m interested in doing anymore. Talking to strangers and blacking out isn’t part of the agenda.
- People get wrapped up in other relationships.
It seems whenever you have a best friend and they get into a relationship you never see them anymore. That always stays true for me. As we get older, it’s not just relationships, our friends get engaged, and married, so that means we are even further removed from the picture. They can’t just drop anything for us anymore. They officially have someone else that is their number one and they have to commit to. Your relationship is forever changed.
- Same shit, different day.
I grew up and moved away. Some people haven’t done this; they stay in the same city, with the same friends, and the same occupation. This seems boring to me. I can’t relate at all. Why would someone want to be who they were in high school? I guess some people don’t move on, rather they stay stagnant. I simply don’t have anything in common anymore with someone who lives this life…so the relationship naturally dies.
- Some people can be selfish.
I had friends that I would try to call and text. They would barely text back or forget to return my calls. They just didn’t put in the effort and put other things before you. I don’t have the time for people who don’t have time for me. As you get older you realize your self-worth and won’t put up with people who are blind to yours.
It can be sad, and even devastating at times, to not have certain people in your life anymore. Especially if you went through a really difficult time with that person. You probably shared a lot of time and raw emotions with them. But, we all have to remember that people change. When our life changes and becomes different, new friends will emerge. Remember it’s ok to stand up for yourself and remove a friend that isn’t treating you like one. Instead of being sad that it’s over, realize it’s a part of your story and it makes you who you are.
Featured Image via Brooke Cagle.