Okay – here’s the thing.
I always used to talk massive amounts of shit on f*ckboys because the negative connotation was enough for me to know that f*ckboys = bad. It wasn’t until I actually watched a video by Trisha Paytas called “Yep! He’s A F*ckboy,” I realized… wait, I’m a f*ckboy!
And – the real kicker – not only am I a f*ckboy with people who are interested in me, I’m a f*ckboy with all relationships in general. Sorry, friends/family.
Now, since I’m amazing at rationalizing all my bad behavior, I decided to defend myself and all f*ckboys out there who can’t defend themselves. I picked up on Trisha’s key f*ckboy indicators and decided to make sense of those characteristics bit by bit because, you see, us f*ckboys really don’t mean any harm. You just need to think about things the way we do!
Let me explain.
He Doesn’t Make Plans
Who doesn’t love spontaneity?! What could possibly be more romantic and fun than just picking up and going somewhere on what would have been a boring night otherwise?
Also, moods change.
Monday Me may be totally down to go get drunk Friday night, but Thursday Night Me may have already gotten so drunk that Friday Night Me is like, “Yeah, no, f*ck that.” So, it’s either we just be spontaneous or I cancel a shit ton; it’s really up to you.
Keep in mind: cancelling is rude and I’m just trying not to disrespect your time. I thought you’d appreciate my effort.
Doesn’t Return Your Texts
What happened to good old face-to-face communication?
If I already know everything about your day when we finally see each other what the hell are we going to talk about? I’m really doing us both a favor.
Besides, most texting is small talk. Small talk sucks. Either have a topic we can actually have a conversation about or I’ll bail after the first solo emoji.
Doesn’t Tell You Where They Are
I don’t even know where I’m at most times to be honest so don’t take it personally.
Again, spontaneity over planning. If I’m at the mall one minute, I may very well be across town the next. If I don’t know, how can you? I don’t want to lie to you because that ruins trust. What’s a relationship without trust?
It’s also really not healthy to be up someone’s ass all the time. It’s okay to not always know where the other is. I mean, if we’re always together because of our phones, I’ll get sick of you even when you’re not around.
So, you’re welcome.
Can’t Define The Relationship
Why does everything need a label?
If you want to be faithful, then do it because the thought of being with someone else disgusts you, not because we have a label that prevents you. I mean, if you say you love someone who love will prevent you from being with someone else, not the label, right?
If you need a label that badly maybe you’re the shady one. Think about it.
Won’t Say They Miss You
Maybe if you stopped texting me all the time and always telling me where you are I’d get a chance to miss you. Your fault. I accept the apology.
Can’t Communicate Feelings
Look, I get it.
Some people have a lot of feelings they need to let everyone know about. You need to get it too, though, that some people just don’t feel as much. And if they do, they have other ways of dealing with it that involves less communication.
You have crying on a shoulder and I have cardio while performing a Drake x J Cole concert in my head. Don’t take my therapy away from me, that’s rude.
Okay, those were all of Trisha’s points so I’m going to throw my own last one in:
It’s Never Their Fault
See 1-7 as examples. I know, I know, I’m good.
In all honesty, commitment just isn’t for some people so don’t waste your time. If you’re with a f*ckboy (or girl) either understand the reasoning for it or go find someone else. At a certain point, you’re doing it to yourself and trust me, you deserve better than that.
Go find better. Go be better.
Featured Image via Alexis Ren