You probably thought that you would never have to go another day without talking to your ex, because they were supposed to be there forever. The most painful feeling of all, is not knowing what they are doing or if they’re thinking about you. But, even if you’ve broken apart, you have to know
It happened for a reason.
This could be because you ended it, maybe he ended it, or it may have been a mutual decision. Whatever the reason, it happened and now you need to move on. This is especially true if this person was not able to see how special you truly are or backed out of important promises. Here are some reasons and reminders as to why you should not text your ex, no matter how drunk, sober or how tempting it may seem.
1. Your subconscious
Simply just that you clicked on this article. You most likely decided to read this because, deep down you know you should not be texting your ex. You came here to look for validation and some extra support. Don’t worry you’re definitely going to get it!
2. Do not devalue yourself
You’re one fantastic human being, and any person that gets to be with you is one lucky soul. However, every time that you run back to your ex, you devalue yourself in their eyes and frankly, in your own too. When you text an ex, they get to be reassured that you miss them and that you’re constantly thinking about them. You may be at the stage where this is true, but, why let them know that? By not texting said ex, you are showing them and yourself that you are perfectly capable of being on your own and you don’t need them in order to find happiness.
3. Instant relief is not worth it
The worse thing is having a bunch of good days in a row and then getting hit like a truck by your emotions of missing your ex. We’ve all been there, so in order to get rid of this rush of pain, you think that you should text your ex. This is so that you can instantly feel better, right? WRONG. Take it from someone who’s had first hand experience. Texting or calling an ex in the rush of these emotions only undoes all the progress you’ve made. It feels like the breakup just happened all over again.
4. Think about your best friend
So here’s a reminder that my best friend and I practice and preach like it’s our-day job! Alright, so you badly want to contact your ex, but just pause for a moment and think. Would you ever let your very best friend do the very thing that you are contemplating? HECK NO. That D-bag does not deserve to feel any sort of satisfaction and he certainly does not deserve to see your pain.
5. Unanswered questions
Yes, after a break up we all have a million and one questions. It seems that every time we speak to our exes we always end up with even more questions afterward. I mean do we really want these questions answered? Probably not, because the answers hurt more than we thought they would. Don’t let your ex justify why they get to hurt you repeatedly. Make up your own answers to these questions and go your own way. Don’t back track and keep yourself stuck.
6. Potential for something new
By constantly staying in touch with your ex, you are essentially preventing the potential for someone new to enter the picture. Of course healing yourself before you enter a new relationship or begin dating again, is definitely a must. But by focusing on someone who doesn’t see your value, you are stopping someone new who does see it, from being with you. Part of moving on is being with other people so don’t forget to let yourself meet new people. Remind yourself that your ex did not see your greatness, but I know for a fact someone else will. You just have to let them.
7. You are your biggest investment
My brother likes to remind me ALL THE TIME that I am my biggest investment. This is something that people need to remember more often, there is no point in keeping someone in your life that does not respect you nor value you. Texting an ex is toxic, by doing this you are taking away from all that time and love that you’ve invested in yourself. Put yourself first and stay there.
You have to remember that throughout any breakup, no matter how much you may love the other person. Staying in contact with someone who really hurt you is only holding you back.
TIP: If you need to get words off your chest that badly, then just type them out to trusted friend or sibling. Its better that they read it in comparison to an ex who’s undeserving of your words.
It’s the times where you feel like you want to text your ex that you need to remind yourself that you are a priority not an option, back-up plan or last resort. Put yourself first because that’s how you heal.
Featured Image via Olivia Pecora.