I’ve Been Through Hell And Back And Never Let It Break Me

Life is indeed, funny and unexpected.

Thinking back to when I was a little girl, I never dreamt of being raped at 14, having failed several suicides attempts, losing an unborn baby at 19, dealing with abuse in every relationship – mental, physical, and emotional, helping someone I loved with an issue I could never relate to, or being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. When I was a little girl in a town right outside Philadelphia, I remember thinking nothing bad could ever get to me, because I was tougher than I looked and could handle more than I thought.

Through life’s many interventions, we experience emotional chaos, mental wreckage, physical desertion, and are left with just this emptiness. It’s as if we’re at the end of our rope and we have nothing left to offer the world.

Misery loves its company.

When I was at my lowest, when I couldn’t take any more of my self-deprecating destruction, I was able to save myself. I managed to fight my battles as well as help others deal with and win their own wars.

I know my story.

I know the pit of hell I was in.

I know how far I have come as a woman, girlfriend, daughter, friend, and human being.

I have fought through bitterness, anger, desolation, depression, anxiety, rape, torture, a loved one’s deadly habit, and so much more. I managed to learn how to be my own support system when I felt like no one else was on my side.

If you’re searching for that one person who will change your life, look no further than the mirror. This is YOUR life. So, you need to be the one to decide to take control of it. No one else will want to help you if you can’t even help yourself. This will not happen overnight. It will likely feel like an everyday battle, and for some, it is. And that’s okay. But you need to wake up every day and choose you. Be your own cheerleader. Prove your worth to yourself, not anyone else. Never be ashamed of your story, because it will inspire others. Your life will unfold in proportion to your courage.

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work for both is the exact same. So, it’s up to you which one you want to be. Oh, and one more thing we need to all learn; the quote “Good things come to those who wait.” is complete BULLSH*T. Good things come to those who work their asses off and never give up.

You’re allowed to break down temporarily, but always pick yourself back up along with all the pieces, rebuild, and come back stronger than ever.

I love the person I’ve become because I’ve fought like hell, and walked through hell, with a smile on my face, to become her. Now, it’s your turn.

Featured Image via Unsplash

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