Why The Silent Treatment Is The Ultimate Revenge After Your Breakup

If there’s something I have learned from relationships’ past, it’s this: silence works a treat (hence the term silent treatment) when you are truly done with someone.

The difference between girls and guys is that while we love to get all of our feelings out, they prefer to bottle them up. After a breakup, we’re usually tearing ourselves apart because we’re sending them those essay-long texts that cover every inch of our emotions – but they’re not replying to them!

So, why don’t you turn it on its head?

Recently, a guy I would have done anything for let me down for a second time this year but when he sent me a half-hearted apology via text (though my immediate reaction was to send a reply) I thought about it…and then changed my mind and here’s why:

1. The silent treatment says a lot without saying anything.

My Dad once told me, “Sometimes it’s better to say nothing and just remain in a dignified silence.” And he’s right. When you give someone the silent treatment, you are telling them that you have no more words to say to them – you’ve said them all.

2. The silent treatment catches guys off-guard.

Guys know that girls love to rant and rave after a relationship ends, and if he knows you’re a culprit of that from previous arguments then why not make him squirm with confusion by not replying?

3. The silent treatment means the ball is left in your court.

If you reply to his messages, then you’re passing the control straight back to him. But if you say nothing, then it remains firmly in your hands. If he tries to come back again (which he mostly likely will at some point) then you can smack the ball straight in his face.

4. The silent treatment will make him wonder what YOU’RE thinking.

If the guy is expecting you to reply and you don’t, he’s going to wonder why. You are completely empowered by refusing to acknowledge him and he’s going to get frustrated by not receiving a response. Cue him looking like the needy one.

5. The silent treatment makes you feel better about yourself.

If you reply, you’re only going to be sitting there waiting for him to reply (or never reply). Take charge of your feelings. If he’s hurt you then is he worth your time? Is he worth any more anxiety? Probably not. By not replying, he’s only going to experience the same emotions that have been eating away at you. The silent treatment gives him a taste of his own medicine!

Take it from me, revenge really is a dish best served cold – the cold shoulder. After that guy attempted to gain my forgiveness with his pathetic apology text message to which I didn’t reply – lo’ and behold two weeks later, he added me on SnapChat! I didn’t follow him back. I thought about blocking him but then I decided to leave him with a little insight into my life through my SnapChat stories…just so he can see how much better off I am without him! He brought that on himself.

Featured image via Rahul Dogra on Pexels

107 COMMENTS

  1. This is so wrong! This is mental and emotional abuse, why do you encourage people to act this way? Grown up way of dealing with this is conversation and compassion, not this kind of abuse.

    • Genuine question/thought…If it was infidelity…why do you feel like you deserve a response? You’ve destroyed the most important trait in a relationship, trust. Is it so YOU, the perpetrator, can have closure? Any apology after lying/infidelity carries no weight. The trust is lost, so how can you expect your ex to accept an apology?

    • I like the advice. I am older and tried all the other routes b4. Which of course only prolonged the agony. A guy will always be where he want to be. If he wants to be with you. He will. They are all very selfish creatures.

    • Disagree. I’ve been in a toxic relationship and this person was a friend for many years; gave them the benefit of the doubt, loved unconditionally, convinced them to battle their demons. Finally, after a year, they go and talk to a professional whom only validated his toxic behaviors and that has been thrown back at me. Silence IS the way to go after all has been done possible and the hurt is enough. I think it’s safe to say that nobody wants to end a relationship, but not all people in that are equal nor balanced.

    • Obviously the silent treatment is the worst enemy when a person decides to use that form of treatment. Very easily is used as evidence that says they “intentionally” caused abuse and mental anguish by the silent treatment to another person. Surprisingly in a court of law, it is a highly legal proven and deemed as legally a form of abuse that has won thousands and usually even millions of dollars against the abuser this is 100 percent devastated by the monetary punishment the abuser must and is forced to pay when court cases are won and finalized. Even in (quid pro quo cases), the monetary minimum is 3 million dollars at the least that the abuser must pay or 15 years in prison minimum.

    • Your wrong for saying this is abuse. If a man kept on abusing you and cheating, why not block him? why keep him around? only an idiot will not block a man that is toxic for them. There, I said what I said.

  2. This kind of behavior is cruel and abusive. Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks.

  3. What if you you are getting the silent treatment from your boyfriend of 2 years, and you know that you hurt and disappointed him. I’ve written him for 3 weeks, saying I’m sorry, admitting I was a jerk, even tried to lighten it up some and just write about daily happenings. I then started questioning him if this one event was the end of our relationship, how could we be friends and not talk, and how many times do I need to say I’m sorry.No answer. Should I stop trying to communicate? Not knowing what is on his mind is killing me. I don’t even know if we are still friends as far as he is concerned. What should I do?

    • Mary, my heart goes out to you. I can definitely relate. You admitted that you were a jerk. You are the only one that knows your own behavior, and to question his behavior towards your questions. To illustrate, question your very own existence. And ask yourself,” why do we inflict pain on ourselves and others”? Why do we demand attention from the ones we emotionally hurt or they emotionally hurt us? When you really reflect on your own behavior and not theirs, but yours. You will know exactly when its time to walk away and not look back.

    • Silence. Silence. The more you try talking to him, the more you look stupid and desperate.if he really loved you, you wouldn’t be begging him for a response, he would have responded already.stop hurting yourself.

    • Leave him alone. Stop texting him because you are only tormenting yourself. Love yourself. If he truly cared for you he wouldn’t be treating you this way.

  4. What does it mean when you’re in a relationship and talk then a few weeks later you stare at each other but not hang out. Another year comes by and you still see each other he calls you his nickname to you and just stares at you and not talk to you

  5. Thanks for promoting cruelty. My ex cut me off and would not talk to me again after apologizing many times. I don’t think you understand what pain feels like and how people do not care at all. Its immature and creates a culture of wanting revenge.

    • Silence is not for revenge. It is to avoid drama and spare yourself from meaningless apologies. Ranting and fighting is immature. Silence is never immature. Once you hurt a person you don’t get to decide when you should be forgiven or get a response. Only a person who was hurt gets to decide if mistake was forgiveable or just another lame apology.

      • My ex boyfriend gave me a disease I’m suffering with. I went cold and silent. I loved him but got tired of the infidelities. He moved on because of my silence with his ex. It hurt me because I’m stuck with a disease. Im sick and he dosen’t realize the pain he caused. I’m not sure whether his ex already had the disease or was he selfish and purposely gave it to her to not be alone. Sometimes you dont know why people go silent. People know most of the time why but play the victim when you ignore them. Did I want to hurt him yes. Because every day I have to live with this. The loliness because I cant bare to pass along a disease to anyone.

  6. oh cmon guys, dealing with sick person who play coward game like giving silent treatment is easy. just smile and give the silent treatment back at them, but with the different reason, simply because they’re not worthed.

    this type of people conciously give the silent treatment to gain control, or they just bunch of coward, if you keep on contacting them, someday they will answer you, and then back to silent again. and then you become desperate, hopelless etc lol

    so just move on, make your self happy, because this will piss them off.

  7. A lot of the feedeback from this article point out how this is cruel and an immature way to handle a break up, but it really isn’t. It really depends in how the relationship ended and how they treated each other. I believe silence should be given to an ex that ultametly didn’t appreciate you and took you for granted. I did this to someone. The guy I was dating ended things very cruley and said a lot of awful stuff. Our relationship was an emotional rollercoaster, and after a year of trying to work things out, I finally left him. He texted a couple of days ago (from another #, Inblocked him) declaring how he still thought of me blah blah blah. I was so tempted to reply but honestly I stopped myself and thought about the bad things in our relationship. I haven’t replied and I’m not planning on doing so. It’s the hardest thing, but in the long run it is the best feeling, it makes you realize that it really isn’t worth it.

  8. Nobody’s perfect in any relationship. Silent treatment not good. My friends son committed suicide. If only she had responded and they could have talked. It’s just outright wrong.

    • I agree with you I have had petty friends do this to me if I fell out with one she would go around in talks with them and although they had nothing to do with it or the argument they simply unfriended me or blocked me on social media and wouldn’t say why. But it was devastating the cruelty of it and lack of backbone or understanding of other friends so easily swayed by one lying girl. It made me suicidal even to this day it bothers me and upsets me. However with this article i have an ex who cheated on me and would go for bouts of not speaking to me when he was playing away and trying to distance himself whilst he was messing around in work and then to come back into contact when only when he chose to, to try & get back with me. Then he would do the same thing over. This went on for over a year with different women and whilst he was in the army. It broke me and made me suicidal the mind games and hot and cold. He did it one more time and I found out about the other woman he’d been playing for 6 months she was oblivious and still is. He contacted me thinking I’d respond and do you know what I did?? For all it was worth and all the pain he put me through and the time I was wasting of my own life physically hurt, emotions were that strong I couldn’t put it all into expressions nor would I think he’d ever understand. I just ignored him. I did it for myself. Things were that bad. I was so depressed on meds so call it self preservation It was that easy to do and I left him hanging. It’s not cruel on him in them circumstances I tell you that now. It is justifiable and I was dealing with a narcissistic man. It’s the only way I came to have any sense of peace or to get my point across. Silence speaks but use wisely in the right situation. Emotional bullying isn’t right but it works a wall of silence in defence trust me. The best thing is I don’t want him back now instead of trying to say how you feel it isn’t enough

      • Like me it seems you are an empath. You attract narcissists. I have been attracting these type of people too. Silent treatment only works when you have to protect yourself in the end, but during a relationship it is abusive, childish and it is quite damaging.

    • I totally agree. I was given the silent treatment in a relationship I had when I was 19- it was one of the most toxic relationships as all the anger and upset was expressed passive aggressively or not at all, I personally tried to talk things out but was shut down and never had the opportunity to express my emotions and it caused me depression from all the unexpressed negativity which I then battled with for years after I went through this. I would never ever wish this on anyone else, it’s unfair, borderline emotionally abusive and just plain selfish.

  9. I gave my girlfriend everything all my love, my heart, my body, my soul and she hurt me over and over again till I finally had enough. I left her but after a short while I discovered she’s with someone else and it was tearing me apart that i could not endure it but to find a solution which i did by contacting a man named Dr.Mack by his email address dr.mac@yahoo. com, after 3 days, my relationship was resolved, my girlfriend is mine again and she is never gonna leave again, i am so excited
    Stephen. Louisiana

    • because of men like you who don’t have dignity at all and let women treat them like s***, women think every man is like you…stop doing that

  10. Bonjour, je m’appelle Elizabeth, je passais par un article et j’ai découvert un homme appelé Dr Bomoh. J’ai souffert de problèmes de rupture avec différents types. J’ai dû contacter le lanceur de sorts. Steve était sur le point de me quitter pour une autre femme. Mais je suis resté positif et croire que je pourrais le faire revenir et le faire rester. Voilà, le Dr Bomoh m’a aidé. Steve et moi allons nous marier bientôt. Dr Bomoh est un homme si gentil, il m’a également aidé à arrêter mon problème d’arrêt cardiaque. Grâce à lui et grâce à Dieu pour le don qui lui a été donné. Si vous avez un problème quelconque, contactez-le sur cet email: godbomohspirit@gmail.com

    Contactez-le pour le suivant et voir le grand travail du Dr Bomoh:
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      et beaucoup plus…….

  11. This is the favorite tool of the narcissist or passive-aggressive individual. It is selfish. You tell someone, especially if it is someone you’ve been in good standing with for a long time, what the problem is and discuss it like adults. If that doesn’t work, you state the reasons why you are ending a relationship and let them know there will be no more communication. The silent treatment is nothing but a 4-year-old’s coping mechanism and says much worse of you than any message you might send with your silence. Please grow up.

    • Deborah, I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years. He would get mad about something, wouldn’t tell me why and then I’d get the silent treatment for 2 to 3 days. I would keep texting asking what I did wrong (it was usually something so ridiculous) and when he would finally tell me, he would explode with anger from holding it all in. And then we’d be broken up for 1 to 2 to 3 weeks sometimes with him giving me the silent treatment. I recently moved in with him and the last problem, I don’t say fight because it’s not a fight, it goes directly into silent mode, he threw me out of the house. It’s been 6 weeks and I still don’t even know what happened. He will not answer my texts. I’ve finally given up trying to find out. It is the most damaging thing you can do to a person, all I wanted to know was what happened. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

  12. Well, my girlfriend did that silent treatment. Man did she get a surprise. Moment she did that. I waited one week. Picked up phone, called one of her friends who is far more attractive. Dated her and pfff, she was out of my mind, just like that.

    Now she was texting, calling, leavng messages, and my final hit? I got a new girlfriend to pick up phone to say, “sorry dear, but he’s fucking me tonight. I love silent treatment! I always wanted to date him and now I am..”

    Thank you silent treatment. Keep going girls. You’re doing us guys a big favour. It’s the easiest way to walk away from you. It’s paradise out there!

  13. You people need to know that this article is right on! You wanna live in misery your whole life over a guy who don’t care about you then be my guest! I do what this article is writing about and it works! Be miserable or be strong and not a frigging doormat, it’s not cruel, isn’t it cruel when they cheat on you and ignore you? Do it right back. End of story.. Buh bye.

  14. This has to be the most horrible advice I have heard. Silent treatments are abusive and quite damaging in a relationship.

    The only time you can use this method is if the relationship is over and you have been so wronged by your partner. Now my ex thinks she is justified to do this to me but the the things is she did this to me since day 1. Everytime we had a disagreement instead of communicating she would vanish and give the silent treatment. For me it was emotional torture, infuriated me and just made the problems worse. In the relationship, never I mean give the silent treatment.

  15. Guy here – please continue to encourage women to give us the silent treatment. It’s the only way we can get some peace and quiet. Plus, it gives us every right to ghost her and claim that she was the one who dumped us. Remember – every guy’s dream is to figure out a way to get his girlfriend to dump him. That way we’re off the hook and it’s your fault! Enjoy your cats!

    • Silent treatment is unacceptable only during relationships. Once the relationship is over and a person is wronged and hurt no words or fake apologies can heal it and moving on silently is the best. If you are only blaming women by being sarcastic then let me tell you once the relationship is over we don’t care who initiated the breakup or who gets the blame. All we care about is to get some space for few days and starting dating again. No one has the time and interest to play blame game after an ugly breakup.

    • Since centuries guys have used silence as their weapon and many guys are more nagging than women can ever be. Both types of people exist in both genders and since you lack that basic sense that itself proves your immaturity.

    • Lol all these men here saying the silent treatment works in their favor lol then why are you pigs offing yourself so much? Ladies need to give the pigs the cold shoulder so they can commit suicide faster

    • Thank you, Anonymous X2 and “Melissa” for proving that my comment hit home and triggered the very people I hoped it would! My best wishes to your cats!

    • Nailed it bro. Just look how much the truth you wrote triggered these disreputable women. Every man receiving the silent treatment should cherish the peace and quiet because you’ll miss it once it’s gone. It’s almost better than getting fellated. Furthermore, spinsterdom is the supreme revenge and ultimate karmic payback for modern feminism, on a collective widespread societal basis and individually for those who adopt it as a philosophy

  16. I agree on everything you said but only if you made your article goes both ways ( male to female /female to male) because it can go both ways and i’m saying this based on a personal story . Thank you for this nice article .

  17. After all have been said, after all have been done, after all the anxieties and frustration, after all the abuse of not being given the courtesy of a fair explanation or answer to “why”, SILENCE IS the best and safest, most humane way to handle, because obviously, communication Failed somewhere. I AGREE with you %110. Life. simply. goes. on.

  18. This is really gem of an advice. Guys choose silence and make it their weapon so why can’t we do the same. Thanx alot for this

  19. I have been dating this guy for roughly 3years and he adores me very much, I so much trust him but I found out last month that he has sidechick(s). I told him and he still doesn’t apologise, he said I should deal with it just because I went to his place and I didn’t say it to his face, I told him over the phone. What should I do please? Help a sister

  20. I’ve been “ghosted” before and it was terrible. However, it was by an ex, not my boyfriend so, whatever. It was understandable. The silent treatment should be reserved for an ex and not for those in a committed relationship. If you are in a committed relationship then the silent treatment will do more harm than good. But if you are moving on from an unhealthy relationship then by all means, give them the silent treatment to help yourself heal.

  21. My name is tran doris, I want to share my testimony to all of you out there who might be going through what i went through. I married my husband 10 years ago and we have 3 kids, we started having problems at home, we stop sleeping on the same

  22. What a horrible piece of advice, totally immature !
    Even if you had two cents worth of knowledge, you would understand that a “silent treatment” is a form of abuse. It would be much more mature and telling to talk things out and end the relationship. How you deal with an another when the waters are choppy is a sure way of telling of the person that you are ! The objective is to do yourself good than extract some perceived revenge that is only going to make you a miserable person in the longer run.

  23. Good! It’s the best way to discard of insigificants.
    I found out the weakling boy I was dating had cheated and cut him off without a word leaving him texting a roller coaster of emotions starting with passive aggressive, to anger to ‘sadness’ (if it looks like a narc…?).
    Never did manage to find the time to answer or reply to the calls or emails either.

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  25. My lover is back.… I feel so happy. contact relationshiphelpcenter@ outlook. com to bring your Ex lover back

  26. my ex did this to me.
    there was an argument, after months of him playing games with my head.making me feel that everything was my fault, even when I knew he had done wrong, I was still the one in tears feeling like I had done something wrong.
    so this final argument was bad.
    he carried on talking to me , dangling a carrot in front of me,letting me think we could fix things, kept playing games, this went on for a week or two. I was a mess, I had the universe on my shoulders. I was anxious. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. one minute I was hopeful, the next I was in bits.
    then I had a go at him. telling him what he was doing was cruel and emotional abuse. he didn’t like that,so then he gave me the silent treatment.
    that hurt even more because he wouldn’t acknowledge what he had done.
    then it hit me. if he wouldn’t respond to me, why should I contact him. he doesn’t care. he was an awful person. this has highlighted that. it’s over.
    amd though it killed me knowing he didn’t care. that it was over. I changed my phone number so he couldn’t contact me if he changed his mind. amd from that point on, I couldn’t contact him if I wanted to because then he would have my new number.
    the silent treatment,although it hurt, helped me get over it so much quicker.
    took me about 3 weeks to get that relationship out of my head and heart and see him for what he really is .

    so from the receiving end of silent treatment-it really helped me get over it.

  27. The silent treatment is not very smart. You piss somebody off bad enough but not even giving them an explanation as to why you’re not talking to them or why you’re ending the relationship. And they’re libel to fuck you up or fuck your vehicle up ! That’s not a real smart idea !

  28. So true.after the way he behaved there s no way I will degnify him with a word.the only thing that hurts it s his ego anyway no his feelings.so no buggy.was a pleasure to ignore his smacked face.

  29. Gorgeous article, it gave me focus and strength. Silent treatment, for eternity, is the *only* treatment for someone who not only breaks your heart by cheating, but also by cheating you financially and, as bonus, gives you a sexually transmitted disease. My ex cheated again 3 days after being caught. 3 days after we had a long talk, after he apologized profusely, after saying he loved me and after I asked him if he wanted an open relationship and he said absolutely not. So 3 days after all this he cheats again. I’m in fact shocked, because the mother effer was living with me for free and I wondered how someone can be so stupid as to risk free rent so boldly, especially since he’s a recent arrival in the country and barely has a part time job (I paid for his plane ticket to the US). So after the second time, he apologized in tears and I forgave him again. We had another long talk and this time I said that trust is gone, but I’d try my best. He said don’t worry, it’s up to him now to regain my trust. Two days later he asks me “permission” to spend his entire day off with a “co-worker”. I was expecting him to spend that day with me since it was also my day off. The whole thing stank. I asked him, is that how you’re planning to “regain my trust”??? I gave him 24 hours to pack and leave. I had the small pleasure of not only kicking him out but also walking away when he gave me back the keys and tried to apologize again. I blocked all his phone numbers, social media profiles and e-mail addresses. I found out 2 weeks ago he also gave me an std. Looking back now, he lied about that too. This is someone, mind you, that I helped financially, brought to this country, hosted in my home for free and gave my heart unconditionally. Good news is, the infection is curable and I’m seeing good doctors. But I have a broken heart, who’s going to heal that? If I never see that person again, it’ll be too soon. It’s silence forever!

  30. I feel really sorry for you and your readers who may follow this advice. This is nothing close to a mature response; it’s rather abusive and harmful to both people. What do you gain from giving someone you once loved so much the silent treatment? Dignity? No. Closure? No. The power to move on in a healthy way? No again.

    What you preach here is revenge. Vindictiveness. It’s teaching people to act out of spite when love turns sour. It teaches them that something that could be classified as emotional abuse is acceptable when you simply “can’t take it anymore.”

    Now I can see the silent treatment be a last resort method, when you’ve attempted all means of ending a relationship on your own terms. However, what you preach here is a way to simply regain power—to make a last ditch effort to hurt and punish another human being you’ve deemed to have failed you.

    Shame on you.

  31. Silent treatment in this context is very childish. Reminds me of catty high school behavior. If your goal is “revenge,” then best way to do it with someone who likes to play the aloofness game is to play cool, have fun, and put the ball in HER court to make her wrestle with the decision as to whether to get back to you.

  32. I promise to share the good work of your temple once my husband return back to me, Thing don’t just work out until you make the right choice in your life, I made the right choice when i contacted priest manuka for help in restoring my broken marriage. I was having some misunderstanding with my husband and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband do not come home anymore and he was seeking for a divorce. I tried to make things work for us again but he has already made up his mind against me because another woman was already involved and he choose to settle with her.

  33. i can’t just let another lady take away my man off my family over nothing. but i thank priest manuka today who God has used to restored peace back to my life, i live to be a testimony to priest manuka he has the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy to be with my husband again after all the stress i have been through, Thanks to manuka for been there all through with me. Once again thank you here are his contact to reach him. lovesolutiontemple1[@]gmail.com

  34. HI, I AM ASHAMED TO BE WRITING THIS, HOWEVER, I NEED HELP. DESPERATELY, I NEED HELP. SEVERAL MONTHS AGO I BECAME INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN. I MYSELF AM ALSO MARRIED. A GROUP OF US WERE ON VACATION AT A BEAUTIFUL LOCATION . NEITHER OF OUR SPOUSES CAME ALONG. THE AFFAIR BEGAN ALMOST IMMEDIATELY UPON OUR ARRIVAL. OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS WE THOUGHT GOD HAD BROUGHT US TOGETHER. WE ARE BOTH DIVORCING OUR SPOUSES AND GOING TO BE TOGETHER, FOREVER. I MISS MY HUSBAND, BILL. I REGRET WHAT I HAVE DONE TO BILL. MY NEW FOUND LOVE, CARLTON LEFT HIS WIFE AND THEY ARE IN THE PROCESS OF DIVORCE. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL CARLTON THAT WHAT WE DID WAS A HUGE MISTAKE. THAT I WANT TO RETURN TO BILL. I BELIEVE CARLTON AND I BECAME CAUGHT UP IN OUR AFFAIR. WE WERE SELFISH AND DIDN’T THINK ABOUT WHAT WE WERE DOING TO OURSELVES AND OTHERS. HONESTLY, IF I HAD WANTED TO DIVORCE BILL I WOULD HAVE DONE IT YEARS AGO. THAT IS THE TRUTH. GOD DIDN’T BRING CARLTON AND I TOGETHER. GOD’S HAND WAS NOT IN THE MAKING OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. CARLTON AND I ARE BOTH CHEATERS! HOW COULD EITHER OF US EVER TRUST EACH OTHER? I AM SORRY FOR HURTING BILL. BILL AND I HAVE TALKED AND HE WILL TAKE ME BACK. BILL WOULD NEVER HURT ME, HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL CARLTON. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT CARLTON. DEEP DOWN I BELIEVE HE NEEDS TO STOP HIS DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS AND RETURN TO HIS WIFE. I WOULD LIKE THE BREAK UP TO BE CARLTON’S IDEA. I WANT HIM TO SAY IT IS OVER. I WOULD PLAY THE SCENE, CRYING, BEGGING, ETC. SO CARLTON WOULD NOT BE HURT. I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SITUATION WITH CARLTON, IT WOULD BE TOO ACKWARD AND UNCOMFORTABLE FOR THE TWO OF US. CAN YOU HELP ME? PLEASE, I WANT TO BE WITH BILL. I WANT TO SPEND MY REMAINING DAYS WITH BILL. WE ARE NOT YOUNG PEOPLE. THERE IS ANOTHER PROBLEM, MY SISTER JUDY IS BEST FRIENDS WITH CARLTON. JUDY AND I ARE EXTREMELY CLOSE. THIS NEWS WILL SHOCK JUDY. I DO NOT WANT TO HURT JUDY EITHER. I AM TRAPPED. PLEASE, I WANT CARLTON TO GO AWAY. I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY LIFE BEFORE CARLTON. I AM SORRY AND ASHAMED OF THE DAMAGE WE HAVE DONE. I AM GUILTY OF HURTING PEOPLE. PEOPLE WHO DID NOT DESERVE TO BE HURT. I KNOW CARLTON STILL LOVES HIS WIFE, HE NEEDS TO RETURN TO HER. WE EACH NEED TO RETURN TO OUR SPOUSES AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS NOT ONLY TO THEM BUT TO GOD AS WELL. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION WITH CARLTON. I WANT IT ALL TO JUST GO AWAY. I WILL DENY. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP HIM SEE THE LIGHT WITHOUT HURT AND DRAMA? I REALIZED I LOVE BILL. I WANT BILL. I WANT CARLTON TO SAY TO ME, I NEED TO GO BACK AND SEE IF THINGS WILL WORK BETWEEN THE WIFE AND I. I WILL PUT ON AN UPSET SHOW AND BEG FOR HIM NOT TO GO BACK. BUT I WANT OUT. I WANT CARLTON TO RETURN TO HIS WIFE. I WANT A FRIENDLY BREAKUP. NO HARD FEELINGS. I CANNOT AND WILL NOT TALK ABOUT THIS WITH CARLTON. I AM SO ASHAMED OF WHAT WE HAVE DONE. PLEASE GOD, HELP ME TO END THIS AND SOON. LET CARLTON SEE HE BELONGS WITH HIS WIFE AS MUCH AS I BELONG WITH BILL. I LOVE BILL. BEING “IN LOVE” IS NOT PERMANENT, BEING LOVED AND LOVING SOMEONE IS PERMANENT. AND I LOVE BILL. PLEASE HELP ME. GOD FORGIVE US. CARLTON AND I COULD NEVER TRUST EACH OTHER, WE ARE CHEATERS! I AM HOPING, FINGERS CROSSED, THAT CARLTON WILL SOMEHOW FIND OUT ABOUT MY POSTINGS AND END THIS AFFAIR. YES, I AM A COWARD. I LOVE BILL. NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME LIKE BILL DOES.

    • Humans are animals. You discovered that Carlton attracted you. He felt the same way. You both forgot about your spouses and became involved. Now you realize about the consequences of your actions. You realize both parts will lose someone that was willing to provide for each of you due to your actions and now you feel you don’t want to lose the perks you had. You were the one that created the rationale for you to go for cheating, like he did. You two are responsible of what you did with what you felt. One thing is what you feel and the other is what you do with it. You did a conscious choice. Unless you take responsibility for your actions and realize it was you that choose to do that, you are probably going to do that again. This world has lots of people, and sometimes some are more attractive than other subjectively to each person. This person was one case, you might find more in the future. Are you going to do the same to your significant other? Ask yourself this question honestly.

  35. This is absolutely abuse. If you are in a committed long term relationship and you engage in the silent treatment it is emotional abuse. Anyone saying otherwise is abusive and a child. It’s unacceptable behavior. Anyone defending this behavior is wrong and immature and cruel. It’s never ok. I am not referring to someone in an abusive relationship who is setting a boundary. I’m talking about the silent treatment. Grow up.

  36. My ex girlfriend do that since many years and me bleeding, begging for forgivness and to talk to me while she is stalking me all over the internet, uses my stuff, copy me and put here and there a love song to string me along, while she is married and trying to make babys, while she has some secrets lover beside she don’t even try to hide. I get all the beside effects of this silent treatment abuse, like trauma and all other kind of things. This is sadistic af and she was by nature while I was together with her already sadistic I’ve notice. She has let me know with one word why she do it: HATE. Someone who use this tactics has some kind of mental problems.
    If someone use the silent treatment, RUN so fast you can, it is abuse and mental sickness!

  37. Yall soooooo annoyiiiiin’, this article and advice is for someone who has done you wrong, someone who does not deserve anymore of your time and repetition, but i guess we all love to wear ourselves out in these toxic ass relationship. Believe this article because my father told me to do this, an as a man he was hurt for years, from a girl that he did dirty in his younger years.

  38. Lets Be clear This Is not for those who are trying to work with someone. Understand? This is for someone who has literally done all that they can an there is nothing left to give. Muv took u for granted. If a person is doin this to you while your in a relationship with them, find some help or u need to work on separating yourself immediately.

  39. My husband and I have been together for 8yrs and married for 5yrs. We experienced A midlife crises last year for a period of 6months. He was angry, depressed, he hated me, left home, told his family I had an affair, created his own stories and then tried hooking up with his ex girlfriend. Through all this I made sure to keep things amicable because we have children. I knew it was not ordinary by getting back to his EX, His family turn against me because of what he told them I wanted the marriage to work but everything seems to be impossible. I was really worried and needed help to save my marriage. I was searching for tips on how I can save my marriage from divorce. I came across a comment which says priest manuka help her out. I contacted him to save my home and restore peace back to my marriage through his email [lovesolutiontemple1@gmail. com] After 3days of manuka reunion spiritual prayers I swear with my life my mother in-law came to the house and ask me to forgive her and her Son for the pain they must have cost me. Today we are living in peace as one family. Once again thanks to priest manuka I really appreciate for what you has done.

  40. My boyfriend dumped me because of huge misunderstanding after 7years of our peaceful relationship. I gave him all my heart and every part of my body, but he made up his mind within seconds.I consulted Dr John after ready the testimonies about him with FAITH. Though the spell process took 2 days to call his distracted spirit back to where it belong and it wasn’t easy for me, but I am finally happy today that edward is fully back to me. We are happier than before and he appreciates me more all because of Dr John love miracle. This spell is not evil and Dr John did it, I respect his power and that’s why it worked out for me. Contact him via email: Drjohnsoco @ gmail. com

  41. I’ve witnessed first hand that this works. The psychological design is in favor of one individual getting over the other individual. It’s a science in behavior that mentally works. Chemicals in our brain react in a healing way. Experience is key, and if the topic is not relatable, then I can see why people would react negatively. It can be misinterpreted as cruel. Or like some have said even childish. But in actuality it is not. This is a known method buy relationship coaches. And it has helped many to either resolve conflict in brake ups with reconciliation. Or help the individual that was cheated on or left get through the break up process and be able to still have confidence as well as no insecurity. There’s a strength behind this and it’s it works.

  42. Immature and stupid.
    Maybe even, evil. Which leads to bad karma.
    No, what you do is simply tell them that
    you are done with the relationship because of these and those reasons,
    and warn them to not contact you or you will have to block them
    (or you can even block them right after sending the final
    explanation). There is no reason to “play” at making people
    guess. In fact, the behaviour it is largely recognized as wrong
    and psychological abuse by the psychology community.
    You think you are getting revenge after one guy but you
    are actually telling the whole world to beware of you, indulging
    in cynicism and dark schemes like this.

  43. I am so happy to share this fantastic testimony of mine. My life has changed round completely in 48hours. I can see myself in the mirror and smile. I have confidence in myself and my abilities for the first time in ages. I have my boyfriend back in my life with the help of Dr Oniha. He said sorry a 24hours after the spell was created. He said he realised that he never really wanted to break up he could not handle emotional baggage I was carrying around all the time. He said that he thought he was the negative influence on my life and thought it best to leave. He said it was hard that I kept talking about the past all the time. We have both forgiven each other. I have money in my pocket that is my own at last. (My compensation cheque came through I was told it was months away. I am living proof of what Dr Oniha can do. I thank you so much Dr Oniha for the wonderful thing you did in my relationship. I am so happy now. With your help we were both able to see and speak the truth to each other. I never thought a spell could help a couple before I am very pleased contacted you and initiated all this to happen. Anyone who have a relationship problem can contact Dr Oniha.
    onihaspells.com

  44. I came across a very helpful priest Adu of solution temple that worked extremely well for me to restore peace back to my marriage that was falling apart with so many trouble, infidelity and others. Now we are happily together again with no more problems. solution temple powers are strong. That is the reason am out here to share testimony to appreciate his love and kindness during the time of trouble in home. Thanks and be bless. He can be reach on his site [https:// solution-temple.webnode. com]

  45. My ex reached out after almost 4 years trying to reconnect. He is now married and has a new baby. But he also claims to miss/love me. I had to laugh and did not respond (aka stayed silent). It seems to some people, maybe I shouldn’t be so cruel to this bullet I dodged.

  46. I had no intention of commenting however after going through all of the comments, I think so !any people are really missing the point. Using this so called silent treatment should not be used for any reason other than to get away from an ex that will not allow you to move on. Especially when he was the one who implemented this, yes, horrific mind blowing silent treatment to begin with. And yet, for some twisted reason continued to be able to follow me on the internet. Just there. Just knowing ,what I was doing and to whom I was speaking. Please don’t ask me how, because I can’t answer it. I was making a mistake by continually asking him to stop. I should have done what I am doing now…walked away without looking back. To use this technique everyone has so many different opinions on is horrible and very abusive. If the intentions are to break a relationship I have to agree with those that say there is nothing more immature and perverse. I did read all 110 comments, and my heart goes out to many of you. Until I really delved into this myself I had really no idea how damaging this is? And the sad part of this is a person does not have to be emotionally unstable for the effects of this to be devastating. So my opinion is , keep away from the person who did or is doing this. If that means shutting everything down and going one ignoring their existance, then so be it. But to use this as get back, or revenge or any other kind of reason other than self protection I think is completely wrong. Some of these comments floored me? A young boy, suicide? Person becoming so angry they had this person messed up?People themselves were not able to recover? This is serious stuff. And should not be taken lightly. It has I see broken good relationships up for good, because it just went to far. I was really happy to read a lot of men sharing. And to those boys who thanked this process for helping them get rid of their exes. My question to you is why were yoh even on this site, reading this. ? Maybe thou protests too much?

  47. Articles like this need to be more specific when silence should be used otherwise they are encouraging abuse. Yes when you are dealing with an abuser then silence is warranted but most other cases the silent treatment is absuse itself. The author, Judith Willis, should be ashamed. This is such lazy and dangerous writing.

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