Why The Silent Treatment Is The Ultimate Revenge After Your Breakup

If there’s something I have learned from relationships’ past, it’s this: silence works a treat (hence the term silent treatment) when you are truly done with someone.

The difference between girls and guys is that while we love to get all of our feelings out, they prefer to bottle them up. After a breakup, we’re usually tearing ourselves apart because we’re sending them those essay-long texts that cover every inch of our emotions – but they’re not replying to them!

So, why don’t you turn it on its head?

Recently, a guy I would have done anything for let me down for a second time this year but when he sent me a half-hearted apology via text (though my immediate reaction was to send a reply) I thought about it…and then changed my mind and here’s why:

1. The silent treatment says a lot without saying anything.

My Dad once told me, “Sometimes it’s better to say nothing and just remain in a dignified silence.” And he’s right. When you give someone the silent treatment, you are telling them that you have no more words to say to them – you’ve said them all.

2. The silent treatment catches guys off-guard.

Guys know that girls love to rant and rave after a relationship ends, and if he knows you’re a culprit of that from previous arguments then why not make him squirm with confusion by not replying?

3. The silent treatment means the ball is left in your court.

If you reply to his messages, then you’re passing the control straight back to him. But if you say nothing, then it remains firmly in your hands. If he tries to come back again (which he mostly likely will at some point) then you can smack the ball straight in his face.

4. The silent treatment will make him wonder what YOU’RE thinking.

If the guy is expecting you to reply and you don’t, he’s going to wonder why. You are completely empowered by refusing to acknowledge him and he’s going to get frustrated by not receiving a response. Cue him looking like the needy one.

5. The silent treatment makes you feel better about yourself.

If you reply, you’re only going to be sitting there waiting for him to reply (or never reply). Take charge of your feelings. If he’s hurt you then is he worth your time? Is he worth any more anxiety? Probably not. By not replying, he’s only going to experience the same emotions that have been eating away at you. The silent treatment gives him a taste of his own medicine!

Take it from me, revenge really is a dish best served cold – the cold shoulder. After that guy attempted to gain my forgiveness with his pathetic apology text message to which I didn’t reply – lo’ and behold two weeks later, he added me on SnapChat! I didn’t follow him back. I thought about blocking him but then I decided to leave him with a little insight into my life through my SnapChat stories…just so he can see how much better off I am without him! He brought that on himself.

Featured Image via bitchbumhoe


  1. This is so wrong! This is mental and emotional abuse, why do you encourage people to act this way? Grown up way of dealing with this is conversation and compassion, not this kind of abuse.

  2. This kind of behavior is cruel and abusive. Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks.

  3. What if you you are getting the silent treatment from your boyfriend of 2 years, and you know that you hurt and disappointed him. I’ve written him for 3 weeks, saying I’m sorry, admitting I was a jerk, even tried to lighten it up some and just write about daily happenings. I then started questioning him if this one event was the end of our relationship, how could we be friends and not talk, and how many times do I need to say I’m sorry.No answer. Should I stop trying to communicate? Not knowing what is on his mind is killing me. I don’t even know if we are still friends as far as he is concerned. What should I do?

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  5. What does it mean when you’re in a relationship and talk then a few weeks later you stare at each other but not hang out. Another year comes by and you still see each other he calls you his nickname to you and just stares at you and not talk to you

  6. Thanks for promoting cruelty. My ex cut me off and would not talk to me again after apologizing many times. I don’t think you understand what pain feels like and how people do not care at all. Its immature and creates a culture of wanting revenge.

  7. oh cmon guys, dealing with sick person who play coward game like giving silent treatment is easy. just smile and give the silent treatment back at them, but with the different reason, simply because they’re not worthed.

    this type of people conciously give the silent treatment to gain control, or they just bunch of coward, if you keep on contacting them, someday they will answer you, and then back to silent again. and then you become desperate, hopelless etc lol

    so just move on, make your self happy, because this will piss them off.

  8. A lot of the feedeback from this article point out how this is cruel and an immature way to handle a break up, but it really isn’t. It really depends in how the relationship ended and how they treated each other. I believe silence should be given to an ex that ultametly didn’t appreciate you and took you for granted. I did this to someone. The guy I was dating ended things very cruley and said a lot of awful stuff. Our relationship was an emotional rollercoaster, and after a year of trying to work things out, I finally left him. He texted a couple of days ago (from another #, Inblocked him) declaring how he still thought of me blah blah blah. I was so tempted to reply but honestly I stopped myself and thought about the bad things in our relationship. I haven’t replied and I’m not planning on doing so. It’s the hardest thing, but in the long run it is the best feeling, it makes you realize that it really isn’t worth it.

  9. Nobody’s perfect in any relationship. Silent treatment not good. My friends son committed suicide. If only she had responded and they could have talked. It’s just outright wrong.

    • I agree with you I have had petty friends do this to me if I fell out with one she would go around in talks with them and although they had nothing to do with it or the argument they simply unfriended me or blocked me on social media and wouldn’t say why. But it was devastating the cruelty of it and lack of backbone or understanding of other friends so easily swayed by one lying girl. It made me suicidal even to this day it bothers me and upsets me. However with this article i have an ex who cheated on me and would go for bouts of not speaking to me when he was playing away and trying to distance himself whilst he was messing around in work and then to come back into contact when only when he chose to, to try & get back with me. Then he would do the same thing over. This went on for over a year with different women and whilst he was in the army. It broke me and made me suicidal the mind games and hot and cold. He did it one more time and I found out about the other woman he’d been playing for 6 months she was oblivious and still is. He contacted me thinking I’d respond and do you know what I did?? For all it was worth and all the pain he put me through and the time I was wasting of my own life physically hurt, emotions were that strong I couldn’t put it all into expressions nor would I think he’d ever understand. I just ignored him. I did it for myself. Things were that bad. I was so depressed on meds so call it self preservation It was that easy to do and I left him hanging. It’s not cruel on him in them circumstances I tell you that now. It is justifiable and I was dealing with a narcissistic man. It’s the only way I came to have any sense of peace or to get my point across. Silence speaks but use wisely in the right situation. Emotional bullying isn’t right but it works a wall of silence in defence trust me. The best thing is I don’t want him back now instead of trying to say how you feel it isn’t enough

      • Like me it seems you are an empath. You attract narcissists. I have been attracting these type of people too. Silent treatment only works when you have to protect yourself in the end, but during a relationship it is abusive, childish and it is quite damaging.

  10. I gave my girlfriend everything all my love, my heart, my body, my soul and she hurt me over and over again till I finally had enough. I left her but after a short while I discovered she’s with someone else and it was tearing me apart that i could not endure it but to find a solution which i did by contacting a man named Dr.Mack by his email address dr.mac@yahoo. com, after 3 days, my relationship was resolved, my girlfriend is mine again and she is never gonna leave again, i am so excited
    Stephen. Louisiana

  11. Bonjour, je m’appelle Elizabeth, je passais par un article et j’ai découvert un homme appelé Dr Bomoh. J’ai souffert de problèmes de rupture avec différents types. J’ai dû contacter le lanceur de sorts. Steve était sur le point de me quitter pour une autre femme. Mais je suis resté positif et croire que je pourrais le faire revenir et le faire rester. Voilà, le Dr Bomoh m’a aidé. Steve et moi allons nous marier bientôt. Dr Bomoh est un homme si gentil, il m’a également aidé à arrêter mon problème d’arrêt cardiaque. Grâce à lui et grâce à Dieu pour le don qui lui a été donné. Si vous avez un problème quelconque, contactez-le sur cet email: godbomohspirit@gmail.com

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  12. If you are to ask me how to get your ex lover back i will advice you to contact high priest tokubo cos he was the one who helped me to get my ex lover back. i gave my ex all my love, heart,body and soul but at the end he take it for granted and break up with me, i couldn’t cope with the break up i decided to let me friend know about my relationship she told me to search for one great man on Google by searching for HIGH PRIEST TOKUBO SPELL TEMPLE on Google and after searching for this great man on Google i saw his website which i click then i was redirected to his website and i contacted him from there and after within 24 hours of the man casting a love spell for me my ex came back to me. if you want your ex back you can as well search for this great man on Google by searching for, HIGH PRIEST TOKUBO SPELL TEMPLE, click on the page that said welcome to high priest tokubo spell temple you will be redirected to his website from there you can see other people he have helped comment there. Am so excited

  13. This is the favorite tool of the narcissist or passive-aggressive individual. It is selfish. You tell someone, especially if it is someone you’ve been in good standing with for a long time, what the problem is and discuss it like adults. If that doesn’t work, you state the reasons why you are ending a relationship and let them know there will be no more communication. The silent treatment is nothing but a 4-year-old’s coping mechanism and says much worse of you than any message you might send with your silence. Please grow up.

    • Deborah, I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years. He would get mad about something, wouldn’t tell me why and then I’d get the silent treatment for 2 to 3 days. I would keep texting asking what I did wrong (it was usually something so ridiculous) and when he would finally tell me, he would explode with anger from holding it all in. And then we’d be broken up for 1 to 2 to 3 weeks sometimes with him giving me the silent treatment. I recently moved in with him and the last problem, I don’t say fight because it’s not a fight, it goes directly into silent mode, he threw me out of the house. It’s been 6 weeks and I still don’t even know what happened. He will not answer my texts. I’ve finally given up trying to find out. It is the most damaging thing you can do to a person, all I wanted to know was what happened. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

  14. Well, my girlfriend did that silent treatment. Man did she get a surprise. Moment she did that. I waited one week. Picked up phone, called one of her friends who is far more attractive. Dated her and pfff, she was out of my mind, just like that.

    Now she was texting, calling, leavng messages, and my final hit? I got a new girlfriend to pick up phone to say, “sorry dear, but he’s fucking me tonight. I love silent treatment! I always wanted to date him and now I am..”

    Thank you silent treatment. Keep going girls. You’re doing us guys a big favour. It’s the easiest way to walk away from you. It’s paradise out there!

  15. Three weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. it all started when I Travel to UK to spend my holiday with my Uncle, I was trying to contact him but it was not going through. when I came back from UK I saw him with a lady kissing in his bed room, I was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. I called my friend told her what happened and she introduce me to a spell cater who helped her long time ago. And I contact him and I never believed that the spell will work so easily because I don’t believe in spell or anything called magical because I have contacted many spell casters to get him back all they do is to take my money with no result. I am happy to tell you that my boyfriend is back and committed to me alone and he do whatever I ask him to do with love and care. All thanks to dr_mack@yahoo. com the great magician who helped me to restore my boyfriend to me. I am Melissa.

  16. You people need to know that this article is right on! You wanna live in misery your whole life over a guy who don’t care about you then be my guest! I do what this article is writing about and it works! Be miserable or be strong and not a frigging doormat, it’s not cruel, isn’t it cruel when they cheat on you and ignore you? Do it right back. End of story.. Buh bye.

  17. This has to be the most horrible advice I have heard. Silent treatments are abusive and quite damaging in a relationship.

    The only time you can use this method is if the relationship is over and you have been so wronged by your partner. Now my ex thinks she is justified to do this to me but the the things is she did this to me since day 1. Everytime we had a disagreement instead of communicating she would vanish and give the silent treatment. For me it was emotional torture, infuriated me and just made the problems worse. In the relationship, never I mean give the silent treatment.

  18. I have never given a testimonial like this before, but for any doubters, let me tell you Dr. Todd is the REAL DEAL! His work, time and advice are invaluable. I only wish I had found him sooner in my life!! I contacted Dr. Todd regarding a lost love. I was pretty much a mess and willing to try anything to get this man back. After my initial consultation with Dr. Todd, I moved forward with the work he recommended. Even though he was very forthright by saying the chances of our reconcile were very slim, I felt I had to at least try and it was worth the cost for his services. He stayed with me every step of the way, any time I had a question or concern, he replied back to my emails usually within hours. The work we did was to heal myself and not as focused on him, which now in retrospect, is exactly what I needed. Todd’s email: manifestspellcast@gmail. com


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