Why You Have The Definition Of Happy All Wrong

Every day I wake up, brush my teeth, wash my face, and get ready and do the same routine all over again. Only six months out of college and I am already questioning everything about the real world and myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love the people I work with, I love my boyfriend, and I am beyond grateful for my family and friends. However, I still feel unsatisfied. When I have a moment alone and actually think about my life, I never feel like I am truly happy.

The definition of happy is “feeling or showing pleasure”.

To be honest, reading that means absolutely nothing to me. What does pleasure even really mean? That sounds like happiness is nothing but a fleeting moment. But when I think about happy, I want it to be a state of mind where I am truly content and satisfied with where I am in life. I am 22 years old and sure I have a high level of anxiety and am completely indecisive but I shouldn’t be so UN-happy with how I’m living my life.

Our 20s are supposed to be the most exciting time of our lives, but instead of joy and anticipation, all I feel is fear and remorse. Looking back, I thought I did everything to set me up for the ‘perfect’ life after college. I interned at top banks and publishers, started my own company, and graduated the top of my class, but what did that do? I find myself unhappy with every job offer because I am scared of wasting my life behind a cubicle. I strive for perfection, which is definitely a result of the competitiveness millennials face in college and the job market. Because of that, such a large portion of our generation feels as if we’re never truly happy. The truth is, perfection doesn’t exist. Everyone claims to know that part, but they always seem to forget that perfection also doesn’t equal happiness.

I sit every day and wonder what if I majored in computer science instead of finance, would I have a better job, a better income, and ultimately a better life? At the end of the day, it is these “what-if” scenarios that keep us from being happy with what we do have.

I know it’s easier said than done to just forget the what-ifs and stop wanting everything to be perfect. Happiness is taken for granted by 90% of the people in world because everyone equates something such as money, power, or status to it. At the end of the day, the only thing that will truly make you happy is appreciating every moment with the people around you. After spending months interviewing with places most people considered their ‘dream companies’, I realized the moments that truly made me smile was when I spent it with my family, friends, and boyfriend.

The next time life has you feeling nervous, scared, or even regretful of your past decisions, remember that no grade, job or salary is more important than yourself and the ones you love. The most important thing to take away from all of this is to stop trying to make life perfect because it never will be. Success is not the key to happiness, happiness is the key to success.

Featured Image Via Tumblr.



  1. […] This lad indeed is the person to first introduce me to my boyfriend Cory. Cory is someone who every day empowers me to have a choice, and holds values that make me feel balanced in our relationship. He’s the kind of gentleman that listens, and I mean actually listens to me rant, and trusts my opinion with his own hardships too. He teaches me that it’s okay to say no, to go au natural, or to split the dinner bill at a fancy restaurant. He’s someone who can positively influence my drive to completing goals I’ve set, and who motivates me to be a great version of myself, simply by being a great version of himself. I am the woman I am because I am able to feel equal in my relationship, loved without restraints, and feel happy being myself. […]


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