“I’ll see you around,” says the guy I kissed less than two weeks ago. No phone calls, no text messages, not even a “How are you?” was ever included in our conversations. Instead, he left me with nothing but frustration and back on my endless merry-go-round of “almost relationships.”
“Yeah, let’s grab coffee sometime!” says the girl sitting beside me, copying every sentence of my mid-term exam. Oh, and this was 6 months ago. We didn’t end up grabbing coffee, by the way.
Living in the most exciting city on this planet (aka London), I found myself in the midst of dead-end friendships and relationships. I found myself constantly disappointed by every individual that passed through my life, leaving not a single footprint on their way out.
It’s taboo to admit you lost faith in humanity, isn’t it?
However it remains surprising when you admit to still believe in that happily ever after when so many of us convince each other chivalry is long pronounced dead.
It hurts to know that, in your short period of existence, you’ve been disappointed far more often than proven wrong. It hurts when you’re trying to fake optimism, and wondering why you even bother trying in the first place. And, for those of you who understand exactly what I’m talking about (because you wouldn’t be reading my words otherwise), here are 3 reasons why I’ve already labelled you as a disappointment:
1. Because I’ve already been hurt too many times.
Lies, empty promises, and just a bunch of meaningless words. That, unfortunately, is what comes up in my mind when my friends discuss the ups and downs of cuffing season. I have already labelled you as a disappointment before you even mention your name, because I believe you, like the others, will end up crushing my hopes.
I labelled you as a disappointment, not because of what you said, but because of what I believe you will one day say or do. I’ve already labelled you as a disappointment not because you are, but because it’s the only way I know how to protect myself.
2. Because life is easier that way.
No hopes, nothing destroyed, right? At least, that’s what logic (and maybe your mother) ends up screaming in your head. Have no expectations, and you won’t become disappointed. As we don’t expect a man to open the door for us, he doesn’t. I mean, why would he? As we don’t expect him to call back, he doesn’t. I mean, why would he? You clearly don’t expect it.
We don’t expect anything as it’s far easier living your life not expecting anything from anyone. Life is easier when you don’t expect others to treat you like you treated them. I mean, you can’t expect a lion not to eat you because you didn’t eat them, right?
3. Because I know better.
Living in the heart of London may have done wonders for my state of independence, but it also opened my eyes in the “real” world. The world where your apartment may be flooding with water, and no one will come for help. The world where you expect to get swept off your feet at a first date, only to have him cancel at the very last minute. The world where emails and phone calls aren’t even looked at, let alone replied to. But hey, maybe that’s just your typical Londoner. You’ve grown stronger, and that’s great.
Yet, you’ve also grown wiser, and that may not always work in your advantage. Remember little you at 5 years old wanting to grow up and understand everything that’s going on around you? Well, how do I put it? It’s more like you’re stuck in a video game, missed the tutorial, and end up playing the game not knowing what everything is.
And while my views may well be seen as another pessimistic millennial, I truly hope someone will one day enter my life and prove me wrong. I still hope that, one day, someone will change my perception on love and relationships. I still hope that, some day, someone would show me that Hallmark movies aren’t just some cheesy way to make you cry and laugh at the same time. But, until then, I’ll keep labeling you as a disappointment.
Featured Image via Twitter.