10 Sexy Scenes We’re Hoping Christian Grey Narrates

Ladies, you may want to get your Red Rooms of Pain ready… because after weeks of breathless anticipation, Christian Grey is finally back. 😉

We all know how excruciating it was while reading the Fifty Shades of Grey series and NEVER knowing what the actual f*ck was going through that man’s head. But lo and behold, the moment we’ve all been waiting begging for: we finally get a glimpse into that beautifully tortured mind of his.

Now, for the fun part; eagerly wondering and hoping for these 10 scenes to be narrated by Christian Grey in Grey.

1. Christian and Ana meeting for the first time.

I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet and falling headfirst into the office. Double crap – me and my two left feet! I am on my hands and knees in the doorway to Mr. Grey’s office, and gentle hands are around me, helping me to stand. I am so embarrassed, damn my clumsiness.

WHY? Because it’s about damn time we find out the big question…WHY ANA? What was so irresistible about her? What thoughts ran through his mind when she was asking him if he was gay?

2. Christian showing up at the HARDware store. (See what I did there?)

I’m engrossed in the task, checking catalog numbers against the items we need and the items we’ve ordered, eyes flicking from the order book to the computer screen and back as I make sure the entries match. Then for some reason, I glance up…and find myself locked in the bold gray gaze of Christian Grey, who’s standing at the counter, staring at me.

WHY? We all know that scene came off as super serial-killer-like. Was he trying to come off that way? Did he think seeing a rope and duct tape would instantly turn her on?

3. Ana drunk calling him.

Holy crap, did I just call Christian Grey? Shit. My phone rings and it makes me jump. I yelp in surprise

WHY? This is our first real glimpse of just how stalkerish Christian can be (he tracks her phone for f*cks sake). Is he aware that his behavior is super inappropriate and kind of creepy? Maybe he needs a spanking.

4. Christian saying “Laters, baby.”

“Laters, baby,” he murmurs, and I have to laugh because it’s so unlike him. But even though I know he’s being irreverent, the endearment tugs at something deep inside me.

WHY? We’re all wondering if it was as painfully awkward saying it as it was reading it. You’re better than this Christian.

5. Introducing Ana to the Red Room of Pain.

“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Christian?” Holy shit. Did I just say that? His mouth drops open slightly, but he recovers quickly. “No, Anastasia, it doesn’t. First, I don’t make love. I f*ck…hard. Second, there’s a lot more paperwork to do. And third, you don’t know what you’re in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom.”

WHY? Because what goes through a person’s mind when he says, “I don’t make love. I fuck…hard”? This is important information that we need to know…like now.

6. When Christian’s mother shows up to his house completely unexpectedly and uninvited, as he’s pleasuring Ana.

Christian blinks rapidly, staring down at me, wide-eyed with humored horror. “Shit! It’s my mother.”

WHY? I don’t know about you, but this makes him so human to me. Like, come on, we’ve all been there before…someone walking in unexpectedly, that sheer panic of trying to get dressed fast enough and rushing downstairs to greet them. Clearly they know why you’re both doused in sweat and fumbling with your zippers and buttons.

7. When Christian buys Ana a new car.

He bought me a damned car, brand-new by the looks of it. Jeez … I’ve had enough trouble with the books. I stare at it blankly, trying desperately to determine how I feel about this. I am appalled on one level, grateful on another, shocked that he’s actually done it, but the overriding emotion is anger.

WHY? We never get to see him actually shopping for the car. Did a salesperson try to sell him something other than a red Audi A3 and he was all, “No, I’ll take the ‘safest car on the market,’ thank you very much. Put it on my card.” Psh…I know none of our boyfriends appreciated it when they heard he bought her a car. (As we give them that glaring look like, well, where’s my car?)

8. When he surprises her while she’s visiting her mother.

“What are you doing here?” My question sounds more brittle than I mean, and his smile disappears, his expression now guarded.

WHY? Because this is one of the first of many scenes where his ego is clearly hurt. And who doesn’t love seeing a beautiful specimen like him getting rejected? It makes us feel better about ourselves.

9. The tampon scene.

“He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently takes my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.”

WHY? Are you really asking why to this scene? If you don’t have a burning desire to know what was going through Christian’s mind as he pulled a bloody tampon out of Ana’s vagina, then why are you even reading this? Bye Felicia.

10. When Christian punishes Ana.

“Pleasure and pain, reward and punishment” – his words from so long ago echo through my mind. “I’ll show you how bad it can be, and you can make your own mind up.” He pauses by the door. “Are you ready for this?”

WHY? At this point in the book, by the time this scene happens a lot of readers hate Christian Grey, but if you’re anything like me you want, no, no, no, you need to know what could possibly be going through his mind when he finally gets to punish her.

Now it’s time to call out of work sick, grab that bottle of wine, draw yourself a nice warm bath (that will turn into ice cold water in like 5 minutes, but oh well) and have a date with the man of your dreams, Christian Grey…after all it’s June 18th – his birthday. 😉

Laters, baby.

Featured image via “Jamie Dornan (Once Apon A Time)” by rtppt / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

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