We are all conduits for our own desires – fast food included. Naturally, all of our cravings say a little something about ourselves, good or bad. Whether they are showing the world you are a borderline alcoholic or showcasing your so-called class and sophistication, the fast food bag in your hand tells all. But rest assured, you are not alone. We all have our own weaknesses.
As much as you want to sit down and order a taco from a cheap Mexican restaurant, you’re absolutely broke from using up all of your tuition money on bad tattoos and infected piercings. Let’s face it, after a few years in college, your standards are less than questionable. Taco Bell is usually the first stop at the beginning of a night you’re more than likely going to regret. You’re probably going to spend all the money you should have used on your rent on copious amounts of alcohol.
You don’t even remember going to White Castle. Up until now, you didn’t even know there was a White Castle in your general area. If you do remember going to White Castle, you’re the type of person who orders the largest bag of sliders you can just to test if you can do it. Regardless of whether or not the trip still remains in your cognitive memory, there is a 100% probability that you have given up on the day. Maybe even the week, who knows? I do know that you will be feeling that double cheese slider combo until next Thursday.
You’ve deluded yourself into thinking their Diet Coke is worth waiting 10 minutes or more in the drive thru. Actually, you’ve deluded yourself into thinking all of your bad decisions are good ones and that’s probably why you’re single. There are actually times when you are driving home from work or school and you can think of justifiable reasons why you just need McNuggets or a McDouble and fries. There have even been mornings when all you want is a hot cinnamon roll. You’re the type of person who claims that they are too busy to pack a lunch for work yet spends countless hours watching Scandal on Netflix.
Who needs a quality pizza when you can be in and out of this fine establishment in five minutes or less? And that large pizza and a two-liter combo? Who could resist? You like bringing a few of these Hot ‘n Ready delights to parties or bring-your-own dinner gatherings simply to make fun of yourself and your so-called low standards. You probably don’t have low standards, you’ve just been out of the dating world for so long and are looking to pin your singleness on anything outside of yourself. You can continue thinking up shitty reasons for as long as you want, but your friends love you for the free pizza.
Now that this bad boy has a drive thru in many locations, I can officially call it fast food. You’re the whitest person you know, so don’t pretend you don’t have a Starbucks Gold Card in your wallet or a bottle of white wine in the fridge. Bringing all of your friends to the same Panera over and over to talk about your significant others, what to wear where, or when the hell you’re going to go out for dinner totally exhilarates you! Go ahead, buy that bath bomb from Sephora. We’re all judging you anyway.
Regardless of our poor choices, they reflect on us in a variety of ways – fast food included. We’ve all got our bizarre and dire cravings, even if it means a quick run for some Crazy Bread.The next time you swing through a drive thru, just remember all the money (and calories) you could be saving without that Big Mac or chicken nuggets!
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