It’s the first date and things are going really well, your date is being generous or funny or maybe even both. It’s a snowy night and the perfect backdrop for a good conversation. A little ice-skating after he takes you to dinner. Then, he drives you home and you both can’t stop laughing about wiping out on the ice every five minutes. But the destiny of this relationship all comes down to the last part of the night; when he walks you up to the doorstep to say goodnight and goes in for that first kiss. All that you can think about is how to not mess this up. Everyone goes through this unfortunate event at least one time in their life.
Assuming you have no rules against kissing on the first date, your relationship’s future usually comes down to that end of the night smooch. Let’s be honest, the kiss is what you truly remember. Sure, he held the door open for you and paid for your dinner but when you’re telling your friends about the date later that bad kiss is the first thing you’ll divulge to them.
If the first kiss is good, then you tend to evaluate the rest of the date. While you’re lying in bed that night, your brain starts buzzing with questions. Do your personalities match up? Are you a good fit for one another? Should there be a second date? Everything seems so simple if the night ends with a good kiss.
If the kiss is bad, that is the only thing running through your mind after you close the door. There is no movie magic moment where you are in complete awe, you just stand there baffled and might as well have question marks floating around your head. And now you start wondering where to go from here.
You just had the best date of your life, and you really liked that person until the dreadful kiss. It all comes down to this; can you sacrifice chemistry for a person that you really enjoy? He was most likely incredibly nervous. Or perhaps he is just a terrible kisser.
As questions run through your mind, you have to decide if a physical connection is just as important as a mental connection. And both connections have a fairly equal weight. It is what decides a relationship from a friendship. A good conversation and some shared laughs is a good starting point, but without a physical connection, the relationship stays a friendship.
Chemistry is one of the most important parts to a relationship. If you cringe every time you kiss that person, I would say it is time to move that relationship into a friendship. Friendships are most often built out of an awkward situation and only require a mental connection, not a physical one. Every relationship has its pros and cons, but can you live with kissing being a con?
You have learned many important lessons from this first date. Firstly, friendships come when you least expect them. Secondly, you can’t hold a good date gone wrong against the other person, it just wasn’t meant to be. Thirdly, chemistry cannot be sacrificed; it is a vital part to a relationship. And finally, it takes patience to find the right person, and settling simply should not be an option.