We all know that one vegetarian that has tried to shove his or her beliefs down your throat and try to tell you that what you’re eating is inhumane garbage. Being a vegetarian in an omnivorous society comes with its fair share of conflicts, so do us vegetarians a favor and avoid saying the things we’re all sick of hearing.
- Wait, so are you like, grossed out by me eating this?
No. I’ve been around this stuff for years. I realize most people I encounter are not vegetarians. But if you’re going to be annoying about it, then yes, I’m actually grossed out by you.
- I could never do that. I love meat!
Congratulations? If I had a nickel for every time someone said this to me, I could buy endless veggie patties for my entire school. I really don’t care how much you love meat, just like you really don’t care how much I don’t.
- Eating meat is natural. That’s how the world is supposed to be.
Do you honestly think that I am going to change my lifelong beliefs because some teenager I just met thinks he’s got the world figure out? When I say I’m a vegetarian, I’m not trying to debate you. And trying to change my mind is not only not going to work, it’s just plain rude.
- Wait so like, what do you even eat here?
Just because places like Bdubs or McDonalds main food items are meat doesn’t mean they don’t have other things on the menu. If you try to un-invite me somewhere because you think there won’t be anything for me to eat, I will prove you wrong and make a fantastic meal ordering every non-meat item on the menu. Watch me.
- Do you eat animal crackers?
You’re not clever.
- Where do you get your protein?
From literally everything else that has protein in it. A serving of broccoli contains more protein per calorie than steak, and a serving of spinach contains about the same amount of protein as chicken per calorie. And when did my physical health become such a hot topic of everyone’s attention?
- I tried that for a couple days. Didn’t work!
No, you probably ate salad for lunch two days in a row and thought you were witty.
- So what do you eat?
Have you ever had a meal of pasta and marinara sauce? What about a grilled cheese and fries? You’d be surprised if you paid attention to how many normal meals actually have no meat in them at all. The vegetarian diet really isn’t that tricky.
Believe it or not, though, most vegetarians don’t want you to know they’re vegetarians, because there’s nothing more exhausting than fighting off the ignorant aftermath of telling someone you follow a vegetarian diet. So next time you encounter a vegetarian, let’s try to show them some respect. Scientists predict that by 2050, the world’s population will become vegetarian. Chew on that.