In case you missed it, Susan Patton (a.k.a. the “Princeton Mom”) has been giving 20-something college girls some pretty controversial advice on how to — get this — find a husband before they graduate.
And much to my displeasure, Princeton Mom is back with a new article published early last week.
I was unsurprised to find that this new article was equally, if not more, infuriating than the last. And I’m sure we haven’t heard the last from her. Therefore, I am officially declaring this woman to be a thorn in my side, and her so-called “advice” archaic, over-broad, and offensive as it is an absolute detriment to the advancement of gender equality professionally and socially.
Mostly, she repeats her same ridiculous spiel, urging women to marry before they reach their dreaded thirties, assuring us that college is the ideal time for husband-hunting.
And so, I’ve picked out a few sections that I find particularly troubling from Patton’s latest foray into “life coaching” to examine. It is my hope that women (and men) who share Patton’s ideals will read these responses and understand why young women are (or should be) dismissing Patton’s old-fashioned and out-of-touch “advice.”
“Should I be looking for a life partner as early as this? Yes. Yes. Emphatically, yes.”
Really? Emphatically, Ms. Patton? This statement, like many others she makes, is simply not true for modern women in their twenties. Marriage isn’t even on my mind right now, nor do I want it to be. Surely I’m not alone in that either.
“If you wait until your 30s, you’ll be competing for the same men with women ten years younger. That’s not a competition you will fare well in. Women in their 20s are fresh, dewy, innocent, and irresistible to men.”
Okay. Wow-ee. First of all, a man who values outer appearance, or “hotness,” above all else isn’t exactly husband material. Furthermore, this is not a legitimate enough reason to cast aside my own personal goals. You know what else isn’t husband material? A man who doesn’t support you in achieving your goals, professional or otherwise. Put that in your book.
“Don’t have sex with (men). Men will not buy the cow if the milk is free…. If you offer men sex without commitment, you eliminate the incentive for men to commit…. Tried and true wisdom suggests that you should leave some magic for the honeymoon.”
No. No. “Emphatically,” no. Welcome to 2014, Ms. Patton, where respectable women can have sex before marriage without becoming untouchable, disgusting harlots! Please, won’t you join us? These statements over-simplify the act of having sex with a significant other in the most absurd way. You want to speak in simple terms? How about this: If a woman enjoys sex, she should not have to stop having it nor try to suppress the desire to, especially if the same is not asked of men.
“Finding a husband really isn’t much different than it was generations ago.”
Wrong. Just wrong. Susan Patton has been out of the college dating game for thirty years. Things have changed. We now live in a world where women are able to be both sexually active and respected, professionally and personally successful.
Frankly, ladies, I think it’s high time that we stop allowing women like Susan Patton the opportunity to make us feel inferior, undateable, or undesirable. Her casual acceptance of the idea that we should be molding ourselves or living our lives in a certain way so that we will appeal more to men should enrage every single one of us.
Don’t let this woman, or anyone else for that matter, tell you what you are capable of.
Featured image courtesy of en.wikipedia.org