The Answer Every Man Has Been Searching For: What Women Really Want

It’s the age-old question, from the beginning of time men have been trying to figure it out. What do women really want? Well, if you ask me…right now what I really want is for a wine fairy to come fill my glass so I don’t have to move off my couch, a black card that you never get a bill for, a personal stylist so I don’t have to pick out my own outfit for work tomorrow, to be tan without tanning how could I forget that?. OH YEAH – and for the guy that I specifically told I have zero interest in last week TO STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME. Well of course until he decides to stop texting me, then naturally I’ll want all the attention he has to offer. Ask me again in five minutes, and who knows what it will be?

I have been a woman for a little over 23 years now and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that women in general have no idea what they really want. To be honest I know my best friend probably better than I know myself, and vise-versa, and I STILL couldn’t tell you what she wants, and god knows she has no idea what I want. Women are so used to life being difficult, why would we EVER want what we can have? That would just be way too easy. I’m not just talking relationships here people. If there’s chocolate ice cream in the freezer, I want vanilla. If I have chardonnay chilled, I’d rather have the Moscato that’s piss warm sitting on the wine rack.

Hey, it’s not our fault, we’re women – we didn’t ask for this bullshit, we were just born this way; estrogen is a real bitch. Do you think we just woke up one morning and decided to be the most difficult species on the face of the planet? Trust me, I would trade anything in this world to be able to pee anywhere and everywhere I want, to not have sore boobs, cramps, and horrific mood swings once a month for no reason. OH MY GOD THE THINGS I WOULD DO TO BE ABLE TO PICK AN OUTFIT OUT AND NOT HAVE TO CHANGE 30 TIMES BEFORE I GO OUT…once just ONCE I would love for life to be simple. But guess what? Life isn’t that easy. We don’t want to deal with this just as much as you don’t want to deal with this. So guys, if you think dealing with women is difficult, try being one.

So guys, want to know what women really want? Learn to go with the flow. We can’t control our moods, and neither can you. Learn to deal with it. If you decide you like a woman enough, you won’t care if at one moment she wants to go to the Olive Garden, but on the way sees the Outback and decides she wants steak instead. You won’t care if she tries on 22 outfits before you leave for the grocery store. If you truly want to know what women want, it’s as simple as finding a man that will put up with us. We know we’re a lot to handle, but we need to find a man that can handle us even when we can’t handle ourselves.

Featured Image via Wikimedia Commons

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13 COMMENTS

  1. This is why nobody respects women. You can’t complete one simple task without it being a route canal. You can’t make a decision. You go crazy over things that make rational men cringe. Shut the fuck up. Your 23 you don’t know anything about life or about what women want. I’m sick of you immature colleges bitches talking and furthering your incompetence on social media.

  2. Maybe you should learn some basic grammar skills before giving advice. Perhaps YOU should go back to college. *you’re I really wish men would start thinking themselves and stop regurgitating hateful shit the media feeds them about women

  3. This is NOT representative of what women want. As a strong, confident, independent woman, I find this article is weak, insecure, and crying for attention. Women want gender equality. Women do NOT want to be seen as victims of their gender … which is EXACTLY what you are representing in this article. I hope you can understand that someday.

  4. you can control your emotions, so can I, so can everyone, we all have minds and will power, lets use them, shall we? being a woman can suck because people assume I am going to act crazy, like you just described. but I personally decide not to. But we are all different, you do you, I mean it.

  5. While I admit women can be moody, but every woman is different. I put one outfit on and don’t care, I go with the flow. To “aconcerned guy” speak for yourself…”nobody respects women”…really nobody? your mother should be ashamed.

  6. Can somebody stop this woman from ever writing articles again? This is the second one of hers that I’ve read, and I want to puke.

  7. Are you not a feminist or something? Why are you furthering the stereotypes that women are trying to break away from? Plenty of women aren’t always moody, and some of us actually can decide what we want for ourselves. We are not all unstable land mines like you make it seem in this article.

  8. Is this post satirical? The point seems to be that women want “a man that will put up with” this vacillitating stereotype of a woman; not a man with any particularly admirable traits, values, or habits, just an empty vessel to pour her insecurities in. No one wants to be with a woman who can’t handle herself.

  9. Just wait until this woman gets into the professional world or tries to get into a long term relationship. The standards in the real world are much higher than they are in college. Sometimes, you have to hold your tongue. Sometimes, you have to put your feelings aside and look at the bigger picture. If women are fundamentally incapable of these things simply because of their biology, it would be senseless for them to fight for equality in the first place. I personally know a ton of ass kicking professional women who capable of finding a suitable outfit at the drop of a hat. They are perfectly capable of dealing with the choices they’ve made and sticking to their guns instead of changing their minds every five minutes. Never once have I heard them complain about being female. They are mature, adult women and they take responsibility for the way their lives turn out.

    This article is written about weak women, who will be rooted out by the professional world and relegated to auxiliary roles where they endlessly bemoan the cruelness of men while stronger and more developed women actually go into the world, figure out what they want, and get it.

  10. This is the most self-absorbed, immature, disgusting thing I have ever read. I’m actually cringing for the writer because sadly, this embarrassing article is now on the Internet for eternity.

    I hope someday you grow up enough to be embarrassed by this. I hope someday you find something in this life more fascinating than your own mood swings and intoxication. I hope you realize that there are many people on this earth who suffer from worse things than menstruation and wardrobes that are too large to manage. I hope you realize that no decent man will be interested in a woman who has nothing to offer but cray-cray wrapped in T&A.

    Maybe you won’t, but until then, don’t you dare include the rest of us in your little narcissistic tirade. Many of us are confident making decisions and have goals beyond being drunk and pampered. (And our sweet, sexy men love us for it.)

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