Home Dating Good things come to those who wait: Why you shouldn’t settle in...

Good things come to those who wait: Why you shouldn’t settle in your 20’s.

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As we get into our early to mid-twenties, ew gag me…I swear I was just sixteen yesterday, love becomes a more popular topic of conversation every day. It seems like I can’t go anywhere, family parties, work, the grocery store, hell I can’t even go to the bathroom in a public place without running into someone who is bound to ask that dreaded question, “so are you dating anyone.” My answer is always the same, “no, why would you date one person, when you could be dating five.” Then comes the awkward chuckle followed by the look, you know the look,  usually accompanied by the aw honey, you’ll find someone. Well…thank you? I know I’ll find someone, well duh, I’m fucking awesome. It’s not a matter of finding someone it’s a matter of finding the one.

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“Disney lied, there is no such thing as fairy tale love.” Well call me crazy, but I think this could be one of the dumbest quotes I’ve ever seen come across my Tumblr feed. Did Disney lie or are we just too anxious to take the next step to wait for the right person to come along?  I can honestly say I have truly had the heart in the pit of your stomach, butterflies every time you see them, absolutely crazy feeling, about one single person in my whole life…and guess what I was sixteen, and it lasted for all of maybe six months. Okay okay so maybe it still happens when I see him, but who’s here to judge? But I do know, or at least I think, that’s how you should feel when you’re in love.  I know  I’m not going to settle for anything less than that feeling again, and neither should you.

ev (1)Women are the most independent they have ever been in the history of society, think back even just twenty years ago, women in a business setting were almost unheard of. Girls these days go to college, get amazing jobs, can make up to six figures a year on their own, but they still feel that if they aren’t in a steady relationship that there is something wrong with them. In an age where the internet rules the world, I feel there is much more pressure now than there has ever been to get into a relationship. Every time I log on to my Facebook, I see another girl I went to high school with either engaged or pregnant. Mean while, I’m sitting here contemplating my next line to the sexy guy I just matched with on Tinder or fussing over which flavor of boxed wine to snag for Friday night’s pregame…and you know what? I am completely fine with that. We have our whole lives ahead of us to be tied down, why rush it?

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Our 20’s are meant to be our selfish years. How are you supposed to love someone else if you don’t even know who you are? The way I look at it, you are never going to be younger than you are at this very second in time, so why not take these years for what their worth? Drink too much, even if you have to go to work at 8 a.m. the next morning, a few cups of coffee and an adderall can cure the worst of hang overs. Spend money you don’t have, wake up in the morning to check your bank account and see you actually did spend $100.00 at the bar last night. Date the wrong guy, or maybe two or three of the wrong guys, so when the right one comes along, you know it. HOOK UP WITH THAT SEXY GUY THAT’S HITTING ON YOU!! Even if he is a stranger and you don’t remember his name the next morning. If nothing else, it will make for a funny joke for you and your friends….well maybe a few weeks later when you’re over the embarrassment of not only accidentally leaving your underwear in his room, but also texting him blacked out a few nights later when all your friends told you not to.

If there’s one thing that women in their 20’s don’t understand…WE ARE NOT OUR MOTHERS. Yes, maybe your mom at your age was married and pregnant with her first, or maybe even second child. Notice how the divorce rate in our parent’s generation is the highest it has ever been? And maybe you’re in the small portion of people whose parents are still together…don’t you want to wait for a love that will last that long? My point is, being 20-something is awesome, enjoy it. If you let society pressure you into a relationship because it’s “the right time” and not the right feeling, your relationship is going to end faster than Kim K and Humphries; And thanks to E! we all felt the pain of that one, no need to go through it again. 

Photo credits:
Featured image: fancybullshit.tumblr.com
Picture 1: slodive.com  Picture 2: life hack quotes  Picture 3: The Love Shop
Kaleigh is a 20-something hot mess based in the Boston area trying to find her place in this world one mistake at a time. Working full time as a Sales Rep, she lives by the expression, work hard play harder. She is new to the blog scene, she writes for entertainment, and lives to make people laugh. When she's not in the office or on her couch drinking wine & writing her latest blog post, you can probably find her at a bar or shopping with her friends. Follow her on twitter to keep up with her daily struggles.

253 COMMENTS

  1. Advice about living your entire 20s recklessly, written by a 20 year old in college… Way to support the classless ideologies of so many “girls” graduating college. a 20 something “woman” is a hell of a lot more powerful and sexy than the 20 something “girl” who gets too drunk and hooks up with a bunch of random “SEXY GUYS”

      • Yeah this article is terribly written and not true at all. The picture that Disney paints of love is horrifically sexist at best…Arielle loses her voice & in the true version, every step she takes feels like shards of glass going through her feet, but she does all this just for a guy she DOESNT know and gets rejected, unlike other Disney fantasies where there’s one dance, inanimate objects tell her he’s the one, and she has to win hjm or vice versa. Ridiculous. True love is real, but it is worked on every single day, even when you don’t know or feel like you’re working at it, every kiss, kind word, mean word, truthful word, every hug is working on that relationship and BUILDING love. Even the truest love is built. My sister found hers at 16..married him at 29 and doesn’t feel she ‘settled’. I met mine at 22 and can’t picture being with anyone but him for the rest of my life. And he is MORE than I ever wanted for myself.
        This article is just awful

    • I was all for this article and whats behind it until it started suggesting 20-somethings should go out and blow all their money on partying, show up to work hungover, and go out and bang every hot guy theysee. If you do this .. you will end up being a 30- something thats likely alone, broke, and a hot mess.

      I agree to live your life in your 20’s- party, go wild, date different people, and do things for yourself. However, why not try learnng to save and invest your money (so you can be more independent), take care of yourself, take your career seriosuly and invest in your professional development. This is how you become truly happy and independent. And this is also what makes men RESPECT you and treat you the way you deserve when you are ready for a relationship. All of those other behaviors are what keep women from actually progessing in society and taken seriously. You can be a fun, hot, trendy, open-minded 20-something without making poor decisions that take away from becoming who will wish you were once you’re 30.

      • I believe whoever wrote this article is actually a moron. Its not just about partying and get wasted in your 20s, infact I know a lot of people who are in their 20s that are in relationships and they love it. Not everyone want to party, sleep with a lot of people, and spend shit load of money all the time. Its not of because you can only do it when you are in your 20s, but it is a matter of when YOU are ready to settle down. I understand that when you are still in your 20s, you don’t have to rush to get married and etc., but to promote sleeping around and spending money and get wasted all the time is just the wrong messages you are giving out to younger audience.

      • Lol. Personally I think y’all are the bitches no one liked in college!! College is about finding out who you are! It’s about having one night stands, walk of shames the next morning, getting wasted, blacking out and etc! You live and you learn! You make mistakes over and over! Y’all come back to me when y’all are 40 and going through your mid life crisis because you were a such a saint in college! I will most likely laugh in your face!

      • Agree, this is a farce. If you do this in your 20’s good luck finding love in someone who is better than that. You won’t. Good people wanna be around good people. Start your life now and stop flailing. It will be too late otherwise.

    • A friend from high school just got engaged today and I am literally buying boxed wine for tomorrows pregame. YES GIRL YES!

    • This article applies to those who haven’t found the “one” yet. I used to party and hook up with guys up until I was 21, then it got old and I found the love of my life. I graduated nursing school at 22 years old and made 55 thousand dollars last year, more than my mother makes, so NO I am NOT spending money I don’t have… I HAVE it because I worked my ass off to do a job that helps others. And in nursing school you CANNOT go to
      class hungover or take adderll to cure your hangover. Its something you actually work for, not something you just half-ass like you describe in your rant. Not some stupid desk job. I am engaged to a wonderful 24 year old MAN who is in the US MILITARY and serves our country and gives YOU the right to write meaningless shallow articles like this. Don’t hook up with the sexy guy you meet unless you think it will lead to a relationship because that’s how you end up pregnant and then me, your NURSE in the ER having to tell you your non-emergent tummy ache is actually because you’re pregnant. So no, good things come to those who have a good head on their shoulders in their twenties, and finds a respectable man who wants to “wife them up”, which you probably haven’t found since you are not wife material judging that you spend money you don’t have (MEN want a WOMAN responsible with money which they are able to save and not be in DEBT) and go to class hungover like some irresponsible 18 year old. Good things DON’T come to those who wait.. What are you waiting for? You are in your twenties which is your time to really LIVE. I’ve been to many states, planning a medical mission trip to Haiti, volunteer at the food bank and humane society and planning a 3 month trip to Europe. What have YOU done with your worthless twenty something self to help society? Nothing. Besides get hung over and hook up with a sexy guy. Where have you traveled? Nowhere. So no, things don’t come those who wait, they come to people who work hard. And it’s possible to find the right MAN while working hard and have him by your side supporting you through everything like mine does.

      • Yikes. Get over yourself. While I understand that you made goals and are accomplishing them, there’s a difference between being proud of who you’ve become and shoving it down others throats of how “great” your life is.

      • Get over yourself is completely right.
        I completely agree with Erin.
        You don’t know if she has traveled or even if she spends her summers volunteering in different places.
        Sounds like you need to get that stick out of your butt.
        Also, you’re a “Woman”, apparently, so i don’t think you have the right to say what MEN want in a lady.
        Since, according to you she has no right to speak on behalf of all women out there. Not to talk down on any of my friends but I know Plenty of Nursing majors who have done what she is saying and one in particular was in an Honors society for nursing, went to one of the top school for nursing in Pa and is working a very great job all the while being only 23 and making just as much as you are.
        Let’s not be judgmental, eh Becky?
        Live a little. That’s what college was for.

        As for me i don’t think I need to flaunt all of my success in your face.

        • You clearly completely missed her point. Obviously you can’t be happy about the accomplishments of others if you aren’t happy in your own life. So what if she is proud of herself or of her husband?

          The point of her comment was not that ALL nursing majors have her lifestyle. Clearly the author of this article promotes a lifestyle that is both unhealthy and fulfilling for women in their twenties. It encourages women to live a reckless and irresponsible life, as seen in the movies, which is not realistic for the normal 20-something person. Especially if you are not being supported financially by your parents, this kind of life will just lead you to be alone, broke, irresponsible, heading towards a mid-life crisis, and sometimes even knocked up. A girl that doesn’t need to pop pills, drink away her insecurities only to fuck through all her sexual frustrations in order to find herself is way more attractive to men (and vice versa).

        • I got married at 20, and will be celebrating my 5th anniversary this year. Just because someone marries at a young age does not mean that person is going to experience a divorce. Every person is going to have a unique story and it really bothers me when people automatically equate young marriages with divorce…

      • You need to relax. As a 21 year old final year student, I read this on a day feeling particularly down after having found out my ex (whom I loved dearly) is now with someone else. Not everyone finds their soulmate at 21, and I feel that this article restores confidence in the single girl. Girls have a tendency to take rejection personally, and today’s society makes girls feel that there is something wrong with them if they haven’t got a respectable boyfriend. If we cant make mistakes while we’re young, when can we? Whilst I am not promoting overly reckless behaviour, I do believe that we are only young once, and you seem to be a fifty-something stuck in a twenty-something’s body. As for your talk about travelling and volunteering, do you want a medal? How do you know anything about this writer, and if she has travelled the world or not? Stop being so judgemental and realise there are many different types of people in this world, and some might not want to have a serious and straight laced life like you have at this time in their lives.

      • Way to go Becky, and good luck in Haiti. The author of this article says that “Our 20′s are meant to be our selfish years.” What? Even, no ESPECIALLY when we’re young do we possess the potential to not only help ourselves, but other people, to our fullest of our ability. We need to keep preaching this message to everyone in generation-Y… perhaps then we can be the generation that will change the world for the better, one individual at a time.

      • “Its something you actually work for, not something you just half-ass like you describe in your rant. Not some stupid desk job.” What’s wrong with a desk job? Why are you implying your fiance is a wonderful person just because he is in the military? I know alot of nursing majors and they are the epitome of this article. All the author is saying is that you need to live it up while you can. And while this is true it doesn’t mean you should go out and spend all your money every night, or hook up with a stranger every single weekend. Instead the author is saying that it’s ok to do these things — everyonce in a while. And I’m sure that most people have went out to the bar and spent way too much or met a hot guy and had a one night stand. It’s ok if those things have happened, but when it becomes a regular occurrence, that’s when you might have a problem. I’m 21 and in grad school for engineering and I’ve worked hard. I might even argue that I’ve worked harder than a nursing major, but my occupation doesn’t define me. How you treat others and conduct yourself matter more than your occupation. So while you may be a nursing major making 55K a year with a fiancee in the army, others are going out and having a good time and they just might have way more character than you!

      • hey Becky…. Shut up :) you’re one of those uptight bitches who have never had a fun day in their life. I’m miserable in my relationship and I’m 20. Also a university student, a degree doesn’t take that much effort u condescending moron. I know the girl I am with right now I will marry, that doesn’t mean I don’t want a break before to be young.. I love the girl but yes I am going to act 20, young wild and free. Tell your husband thanks for his service, multiple family members of mine serve; and for you, look in the mirror at 45 and get back to me with how your life was.

      • Please I am BEGGGING you to get over yourself. Everyone finds love and happiness at different times of their life and in different ways. Simply because you got lucky and were able to find it earlier than others does not make you any better than anyone else. So enjoy living in yor white picket fence that is awesome if that is what you want, but it is not what everyone wants at this time in their life. So please do not judge others when you know nothing more about them than an article they wrote online.

        Loved the article, thought it was funny witty and well written. Keep ‘em coming :)

    • Wow, that’s a lovely bit of mysogony you just spewed out, and for what reason? Haha, there’s nothing to even say to someone like you. First of all, someones value does not come from the number of people they have or have not slept with, though for health reasons it would be advisable to not sleep with strangers. But, furthermore, not everyone is the same or has the same habits; there is a wide spectrum of sexual habits in this generation, and not all women or the same… So I’m no sure how you can even say that after reading one article by one specific woman with her own sexual habits.

      • “there’s nothing to even say to someone like you” Then why did you write a full paragraph? This person was clearly just a troll and not worth the time of day.

  2. Although I agree a 20 something “woman” is a lot sexier than a girl,I think the message behind this post is; it’s okay to do your own thing and be proud of it. So many women and girls get depressed and down on themselves because they haven’t found a steady relationship by the time their 23. You don’t just find a steady relationship. And if you do that’s great, but you still can’t be fully committed to that relationship until you’ve lived your life. You can’t live for some one else when you haven’t lived for yourself. Don’t be in a rush, just take your time. And while you take your time don’t be afraid to make a few mistakes, we learn from our mistakes.

  3. This is literally the worst article I have ever read. It’s basically tell you not to get your life in order and just party, spend money, and be overly free spirited.

  4. This sounds like it was written by a “girl” in her early to mid 20’s that still spends her parents money and doesn’t know the value of a dollar.

  5. this is horrible….so ur saying ur a slut? just saying. god can’t we just go back to the olden days and not have to worry about this “hooking up” shit. and getting drunk and wasting money…yeaa sure we wanna live ‘reckless’ but that doesn’t mean all of those things u listed. damn. im proud to say that I am still a virgin and im 20. that’s what a real man wants when he wants to settle down. (that’s what I hear all the time) yea ive done other things but my boyfriend and I are loyal and amazing. this article sucks a fuck

      • Sluts are for using, virgins are for marrying.

        The psychology of every man on this planet is exactly the same. It’s pure biology.

        Stew is going the decide the same, but right now Stew wants some hot sluts for cheap sex.

        • Disgusting men who sleep around and “use” women, do not deserve to be with someone who is saving themselves. If you want to be a virgin your whole life just to snag a man who’s been “using sluts” for the past decade than have at it, but you’re still saying at the end of the day that a woman’s value is decided by her vagina? I would never touch a guy who fucked everyone, but expected me to sit at home.

  6. I’m confused about people bashing this article if you’re such a mature person in your 20’s…why the hell are you spending time putting down the people sharing the way they live their life…? To each his/her own..people can grow up and get their life together, like lighten up people? This article is written by a WOMAN who has jumpstarted her writing career, and her success is something to be proud of. If she can manage being a badass fun betch more power to her, great read!

    • Amelia, you’re an idiot. Everything about this article and your support disgusts me. This was not written by a woman, it was written by a selfish, worthless feminist that brings a bad name to humanity. Enjoy your Marilyn Monroe quotes.

  7. As a 20-something, I’m mortified at the things you said. And no, I’m not married, with kids or anywhere close to engaged. I’m single, like you; but that is where the similarities end. You can be single w/out making risky choices and being selfish.

    But, what could one expect from someone whose username is ‘Iwasprobblackedout’.

  8. I honestly think that the overall message of this article is good because you are trying to empower the “unpopular” way of thinking.. You are trying to get the point across that is is ok if you don’t have it all figured out, it’s ok if you want to have crazy reckless fun and live it up and I definitely think more girls need to know that.

    The only criticism I have is the section where you talked about girls you went to high school with that are engaged and pregnant being the unfavorable part of this whole message. I personally believe that your message is powerful because you are saying to his is her own and to do what it is you want to do because it’s your life… For the women who are engaged and pregnant at 20 should be empowered all the same. Other than that it was a great read :)

  9. Everything about this article and your support disgusts me. This was not written by a woman, it was written by a selfish, worthless feminist that brings a bad name to humanity. Enjoy your Marilyn Monroe quotes.

  10. If you follow the guidelines written by this train wreck you’ll end up 30 ,broke, with at least herpes (maybe more) alone and any possible partner of quality is usually scooped up while you spent your twenties (blacked out) the sexy guy or dream guy isn’t settling either for the one night stand drunk girl that all his buddies laugh at behind her back. I know this cuz I’m thirty and this is what happened.bad news guys your parents really were right lol

  11. This article supports terrible ideals that can really hurt the person acting on them as well as everyone they come in contact with. Please think about what you are saying and the influence it has on others before posting. Maybe even think about taking this down.

  12. As a recently-separated, feminist 30-something, while the details of this article may not be identical to each reader’s experience, I think the overall message is powerful: Don’t settle for any less than you deserve. Hold out for the butterflies. As someone who didn’t, I assure you that the pain I’m going through now in my separation is way worse then waiting a few more years for someone who will sweep you off your feet.

    • I saw that this was the potential message. She just did a wonderfully shitty job of explaining and building the message up. Instead of focusing on the ‘never settle’ she focused on the ‘share your goods to EVERYONE’ part. Not a bright idea.

  13. This article is absolutely terrible. Yes, it is important to be yourself and be happy with yourself, but that doesn’t mean be immature. First, love is not the heart in the pit of your stomach, butterflies every time you see them, absolutely crazy feeling, about one single person in my whole life. Simply put, that’s not going to last your whole life. Love is about caring so much for someone that all you want to do is be there for them and make them happy. Love is not selfish and it is not about yourself, but rather it is about the other person.

    Yes, not just women, but everyone should be ambitious and strive to do their best and make those 6 figure salaries. Men and woman should not feel pressured to be in a relationship, that is true, but to use the reasoning in this article is flawed and extremely immature.

    Simply put, you will not truly be in love until you find someone that you want to try your best to make them happy and special. Love and and relationships are not about yourself, it’s about the other person.

      • Further, your 20s is not about being a selfish person that’s destructive. It’s about going after your goals and dreams. Your 20s is when you lay the track that you will go down for the rest of your life. You have an insurmountable number of opportunities in front of you. It’s your time to find out and decide which ones you’re passionate about and want to pursue. It’s not about being destructive to your life and your future by showing up to work hungover/drunk, having excessive sex with random people, or spending money that you don’t have.

  14. Yes. Condone prescription drug misuse, sleeping around and going into work hung over. Great things to suggest to young women. If being a slut, blowing money and random dudes is your thing thats fine. But when your 30 and you have a cocktail of sexual transmitted diseases and you are alone because you have quite a reputation dont be surprised. How about ppl live thier life for what fits them and not take advice from a p.o.s article like this.

  15. If you are ever going to find love, you need to respect yourself first. Recklessly spending money, hooking up with random guys that don’t love you, and focusing on partying instead of your job is not the way to do that. This article might be full of some of the worst advice that I’ve ever read. The message of waiting for true love is worthwhile, but the arrogance and stupidity of the author really ruins it.

  16. Funny how you preach being your own person and making your own choices WHILE judging and looking down on others choices; like to get married young or have children. If you’re going to preach tolerance; practice it.

  17. Im guessing this person is a 20 something giving advice on how to live? Honestly why do you care what others do? If they want to rush it, that’s on them. Love can happen at any time or age ((really) young, middle aged, old). People just get to caught up in the honeymoon phase. Also going to work with a hangover, yeah your ass will be fired. Blow your money on anything, yeah your ass is broke and will be in debt in the future. Then seeing how a lot of people do the dirty business with almost anyone, both guys and girls, yeah your ass caught a STD. Also looking back in your past, would you want to share your memories with your future children about how drunk you got and how many people you hooked up with and how you blew off all of your money and now you can barely afford anything…? Your 20s in my opinion is about learning to save money and exploring your working abilities to find a career you like and at the same time look for that special someone. If you’re willing to go fight for someone you love and the other person does it too, then that might just be a future married couple. And again why spend everything now when you can save everything so that in the future you can do what others can’t?

  18. While I enjoyed this article, I had to laugh at the replies it got. First of all, the “nurse” needs to get over herself. I could sit here and list my resume as well, but that doesn’t make me better than anyone. Also, there are many wonderful guys, not all in the MILITARY. Secondly, just because this girl is dating and trying to find what type of a man she wants to be with, it doesn’t make her a slut. News flash: Long gone are the days where a woman is a virgin until marriage. If you live by this ideology, then you might as well move on over to the Middle East or Asia, and live your boring, common life. Thirdly, she has a point about being a little irresponsible now and then. Have a drink, buy something you don’t need. There’s no need to be SERIOUS all the time. Have a little fun, it’s good for you. Too much of one thing is not recommended, but in small doses, sure why the hell not?

    As a 20 something, closer to my 30s than my teens, I understand what it’s like to be under a lot of pressure to have your career on track, to find a husband, and to start a family. I’m absolutely sick of reading about engagements, marriage, and pregnancy on Facebook. I don’t understand why there is such a rush to start your life. I’m still trying to gain experience career wise, and make sure that I’m stable enough to take care of myself. I’m also trying to figure out how I can budget and save, as opposed to spending frivolously. (Though from time to time I do spend money on those concert tickets I just HAVE to have!) I also travel a lot, because I’m an ESL teacher and I think to myself, oh my how can I find a man when I’m always in a different place! Sometimes, it’s very stressful. However, this is what I have chosen. I need to make room in my life for everything that I want to accomplish, and while you can’t have everything, I sure will try to get as close to having it all as possible! I don’t believe in settling, I don’t think that makes you happy, I think that makes you too weak to fight for what you really want to have.

    One thing I’ve learned is that you can’t put a time limit on these things. Every moment is a moment that we can’t take back and you have to try to enjoy everything. When I was living in Germany, I noticed that many married couples are much older and having children much older because they want to get their “party” days out in their twenties. No one would consider it irresponsible to go out and get drunk or to have a random hook up. These will end up being good or bad memories and always something that can be cherished or maybe a lesson learned.

    There is much time to grow old, follow a routine, and find new interests. For me this lifestyle seems a bit common and somewhat boring. I’m not sure I want to work a 9 to 5, own a house and have two kids. It’s just not my way. Everyone will find their place, and no one should judge them for it. If you want to go the traditional route, do it, but don’t bash someone that lives their life on the edge. A little risk is good, it keeps you alive.

  19. Why is it the girls who aren’t in relationships who purport to know everything about true love? That’s like taking advice on how to have sex from a virgin.

  20. Also, you act like you are relating ground breaking ideas to the audience….. We already know you, each of us knows ten girls like you. You travel in packs to be safe in the real world. When a good guy starts to have feelings for you, he will seriously have doubts about showing off “that girl” to his friends. I know it’s important to forgive someone’s past, but it’s hard when it’s the fucking holocost( JOKE)

  21. This is pure ignorance. If ‘knowing yourself’ means being an idiotic, drunk slut, then I guess I know nothing about life.

  22. No one cares about the negative comments you have to make. Keep your opinions to yourself. She wrote this from HER opinion. If she wanted yours, she would have asked. I’m sure you people with the “hateful” comments wouldn’t enjoy all this crap either. Leave her alone and let her live her own life and you go live yours. All she wanted was people to read it, she doesn’t care about your negativity. Just grow up. And “nurse” get a life! No one cares about your “fabulous” husband, because I’m pretty sure that she may end up with someone spectacular, and you will be all by yourself just settling from a divorce with the man you thought was the perfect man out there.

  23. To those of you with positive comments, thank you, I appreciate all the love and support; you rock don’t ever change. For those of you negative Nancy’s blowing me up…I could sit here and list all of my accomplishments or talk about how I juggle a full time job and school or how I spend my time volunteering or how within 48 hours I had a blog post go viral AND landed my dream job, but who the fuck wants to read that? Not even my 89 year old grandmother because THAT’S BORING. I write to entertain, not to please your stiff asses. I’m over defending myself, I have wine to drink. I’ll just let the 6k+ Facebook shares and 60k+ views speak for themselves.

    • People are leaving negative replies because you seem to believe the mindset you present is both unique and powerful. Everyone knows a large cabal of both men and women with similar desires. They are not nearly as successful as yourself and most likely never will be. Irresponsibility is a terrible trait, and your “advice” is nonsense at any age. Excusing your immature opinions as purposeful shock/click bait just reveals you lack conviction AND responsibility. I don’t doubt you are a decent individual, but you need to grow up, feminism is not supposed to celebrate juvenile behavior.

  24. Probably not the only thing viral you got going for you. I don’t think your piece was well written. In your defense, if this was written by Karl instead of Kayleigh, the chastising would surely be toned down; potentially non existent.

  25. Girls like you are the reason girls are treated like “objects” instead of actual people. Girls cry that they aren’t treated equally and with respect in society. Maybe thats because theres girls like you that whore around and allow themselves to be used. You must just be a slut who wrote this as an excuse to make up for your sluttiness. Articles like this are whats wrong with our generation, people listen to much to what others have to say. How about people just do what makes them happy. If you fall hard for someone don’t ignore it because some article online told you to party and ruin your 20’s. I don’t know about you but Im a 20 year old college student who works 45 hours a week over the summer to be able to afford my education and I still party way to much but I’m not wasting my money at the bar. I only have $100 to my name right now. I can tell you from a guys point of view, we go out to have fun with our friends. We only pursue girls we really like, but every once and awhile theres a slut like you that puts themselves all over us so of course we won’t say no and use you. You need a reality check

  26. I never want to hear a women complain about being treated unfairly if this is how some girls think its ok to act. Maybe hooking up with a guy you’ve had a crush on is ok but hooking up with a bunch of random dudes will give you a bad name and leave you with an STD or two and loneliness. A lot more loneliness than if you date someone you really like that doesn’t work out.

    I know this is an opinion article but don’t put it out there telling other girls that this is how you should live your 20’s. People should live there 20’s however they want. Just be careful that you know your repercussions. You don’t wanna be known as that whore I went to college with that banged a bunch of dudes and now has no contact with many people because she has no respect from others. Then again if thats what you want then go for it.

    • Also its not boring to spend time with someone you really like. Thats the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Don’t tell other people whats boring or not. I think boring is sitting in your room by yourself because you’ve lost friends over slutty things you’ve done, but if one night of fun floats your boat and beats that then go for that as well. I hate this article, and thats my opinion. If I write an article thats the opposite will I get published? Because I have no writing skills but it doesn’t seem hard to get published after reading this.

      • Trust me I know what success is. Success isn’t posting your opinion online and having it luckily picked up. Im not putting you down, I’m sorry if you think that, but everyone has opinions, writing them down isn’t success. If this were true anyone with a proper education who has a working brain could write opinion articles and have them published. The more I write this the more I feel bad for putting you down. I don’t mean to do that, Im sure you will be successful as I can see from this page that your determined to stick to your guns and do whatever it takes. Thats success. Expressing your opinion and telling others how to live their lives is just that, an opinion.

        Im worried for people like you that think its ok to throw away these vital years of your lives. If you want to live like that I just hope you know how to learn from your mistakes and improve on them. I learned about how I was, who I wanted to become and how I wanted to do it in my 20’s, without losing respect from others.

        Us humans are the only thing we have. Its only us on this lonely planet in a vast ever growing universe. Relationships are important and by sleeping around and being reckless is a way to ruin important relationships that you may miss when your older. Trust me, I’ve been through it. I had fun in my 20’s but at a level I was comfortable with. Its ok to date a number of guys, but sleeping with a bunch at once? Not so. Thats how people get hurt, physically and emotional. When guys sleep around a lot they are called d-bags, players, a**holes and girls get mad at them and demand they be treated with respect. The theres girls who think its ok. Its a never ending cycle. I don’t know. Just be careful. What if your life were to end tomorrow and all you had to show for it was a couple wild stories that don’t have any real meaning to you besides a way to get off. Would you want a few friends at your funeral or a large number of people who truly career about you because you were the best person you could be…….with that being said Im old and you may think this is”boring” to hear, but thats life. Appreciate what and who you have in life and try to build as many real relationships as possible.

  27. Is somebody honestly paying this girl to write? Please tell me the answer is no. I have never read an article that moved me so much I felt I needed to comment, but you have achieved that with this horrendous piece, “iwasprobblackedout”. This entire article is a disgrace to women everywhere. First, let’s talk about your grammar. You say you swear it was just yesterday you were sixteen. Judging by your writing style it WAS in fact yesterday that you were sixteen. You must not have done much growing up since then. After that you go on to say that you won’t settle for anything less than love in life, which is all well and good. But then this article nosedives and plummets into the ground at 1000 fucking mph.

    “Drink too much, even if you have to go to work at 8 a.m. the next morning, a few cups of coffee and an adderall can cure the worst of hang overs. Spend money you don’t have, wake up in the morning to check your bank account and see you actually did spend $100.00 at the bar last night. Date the wrong guy, or maybe two or three of the wrong guys, so when the right one comes along, you know it. HOOK UP WITH THAT SEXY GUY THAT’S HITTING ON YOU!! Even if he is a stranger and you don’t remember his name the next morning.”

    That right there is THE WORST advice I have heard in my 24 years of life. The worst. I am in college and I do have to go to work at 8am Monday-Friday, and I can assure you I value my job and the money it provides me with a little too much to stay up all night binge drinking and banging guys I don’t know the names of; my parents don’t have the money to help me through college, which I am willing to bet pretty much anything your parents do. As someone stated before, you clearly don’t know the value of a dollar. And the part about hooking up with a stranger even if you don’t know his name? That’s just plain dangerous and stupid. How much less classy could you honestly get?

    I just can’t. There is still so much more to say but I just need to go away from this article now. Please get your life together, this is sad.

  28. Im 21. I know exactly who I am. Im not saying Im ready to get married, but going wild in your 20s is just irresponsible. Grow up, be a man/women of God and love others. The 20s aren’t a time to be selfish…its a time to learn, grow, and love on other people. There is no time to be selfish. The fact that that was even mentioned in here is appalling to me. Love others and build relationships (romantic and friendly) so that you can live this life with no regrets that is glorifying to the Lord our Savior. Thats the reason were here in the first place.

  29. I think that this post shows us all the things that are wrong and right about today’s 20 somethings. We, yes, I am one of them, have the tendency to take things too far. Yes, women (and girls) have much more independence than ever before. Yes, we are a very different generation of women than our parents were. No, you shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you happy, that doesn’t treat you right or that you don’t love. However, that in no way means that you should turn into a total wild card. Spending your money and sleeping with strangers is not going to fill the void of a good relationship, it is just going to create a new void – the one where your self-respect used to be. There is nothing wrong with a single lady, there is no doubt about that. In fact, I think that being single in your 20’s is a fantastic thing for a woman. It makes us stronger, braver, and more confident. It takes courage to be single at any age, but it is worth the struggle. It makes finding the right person ten times more rewarding. I also think that it is unfair to say that we will have longer, happier marriages just because we spend more time fooling around in our 20’s. It is true that the divorce rate is higher for our parents’ generation than any generation before, but I don’t think it is fair to contribute that solely to how old our mothers and fathers were when they walked down the aisle. I think it has just as much to do with the new independence women feel, the decline of strong religious affiliation, and the general relaxation of societal expectations. I have been single. I have made all those mistakes. I have spent too much at bars. I have been hungover, hell, even drunk when I shouldn’t have been. I have slept with guys that I shouldn’t have. Do I sleep at night? Absolutely. Do I revel in those moments or take pride in them? Absolutely not. I think that Kaleigh makes a wonderful point in saying that we should cherish our twenties and take advantage of opportunities that will soon disappear as we accrue more and more responsibility. However, I think that there is a difference between being single and throwing caution and responsibility to the wind.

  30. Along with this article being ridiculous, this girl attends Southern New Hampshire University. It makes alot of sense when you put the two together. Please, focus on school and transfer to a respectable college.

  31. You guys are ridiculous. its an OPINION piece chill out. im pretty sure everyone is entitled to their own opinion… doesnt mean you need to go call her a fucking whore, slut or stupid. I understand not everyone agrees with this lifestyle, (I myself have a boyfriend and am 20) but i think her article was a good read and i genuinely was intrigued enough to read the whole thing. And even if i hated it i would never attack someones life and personal habits without actually knowing them more than just off one post, but i guess that takes emotional intelligence which obviously all of you don’t have. Its college and whether you want to admit it or not every girl does the shit she wrote. The only difference is that she wrote it down. So why dont you get a life and stop hating because you dont have a piece with over 7000 shares and which I also just found published on HuffPost.

    Also if you actually took time to read more than just one post on the site instead of writing bashing comments.. you would see a piece about how it doesnt matter what age you are, its okay to fall in love and live your life at the same time ,(http://readunwritten.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/23-things-to-just-do/) but we dont see that one blowing up do we?

    PEOPLE WRITE FOR CONTROVERSY BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU WASTE THEIR TIME BASHING IT AND MAKING IT VIRAL.

    PS. The comment about the university is just beyond rude, you never know why someone needs to attend a certain place based on money, health, family etc. So have a sense of empathy before you post.

  32. I’m pretty sure everyone commenting is missing the entire point of the post which is that your 20’s are a time to grow, to make mistakes and to do whatever your heart desires because you don’t need to settle down right this minute or have kids or have your forever job. She is saying that having fun, making mistakes and finding yourself is perfectly acceptable to do in your 20’s. She isn’t saying anything bad about people who are settled down or don’t party or have sex with random strangers.

    • Georgianna- I agree with you that the author’s POINT was just as you stated: that it’s okay to make mistakes and follow your heart when you are young instead of rushing to be “tied down because of societal pressures.” HOWEVER- it is the way she elaborates on that and goes about explaining what exactly life as a twenty-something woman should look like that I think people are upset about. She isn’t overtly saying anything bad about people who are settled down etc., but she does indirectly put them down. Her phrases not only seem to be offering advice, but they are worded like commands, as if to say: if you are not living your twenties like this, you are doing it wrong.

      She wrote: “The way I look at it, you are never going to be younger than you are at this very second in time, so why not take these years for what their worth? DRINK too much, even if you have to go to work at 8 a.m. the next morning […]. SPEND money you don’t have […]. DATE the wrong guy, or maybe two or three of the wrong guys.”

      Personally, these are the kinds of statements I have a problem with. Saying things like that is just irresponsible as a writer -and as a woman. Unfortunately, this is what people have ended up taking away from her article, NOT the point she started out making…

  33. I just can’t take it anymore. WHY does having a good time automatically equal being a slut? What the hell? I want to see where it is written down that if a girl in her 20s goes to a bar and has a few drinks she is a slut. Or where is it written that if a girl dates more than one person in her 20s she is a slut. This is absolutely absurd. What’s wrong with this generation is not this article, it’s the outright stupidity of the people that are commenting on it with these preposterous accusations. Please be advised, you can date only one person in your life and get an STD, so that’s just an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. Also, just because you like to go out doesn’t mean you’re going to end up alone someday. Honestly, where the hell do these ideas come from? I’m so glad the whole planet doesn’t think like these select few morons.

    Oh and for the imbecile that said GROW UP AND BE A MAN/WOMAN, are you kidding me? You don’t hit 18 and become a grown up, it’s a process. A process of living and learning, making mistakes and moving on and hopefully having some fun along the way.

    • No being a slut isn’t dating a few guys. Being a slut is wasting your money at the bar and trying to hook up with as many guys as possible. If women want respect then they should keep opinions like this to themselves. If your gunna post something like this on the internet then expect some negative feedback. Girls who act like this hurt good people and lose friends. Maybe reading this it seems a little blown outta proportion that someone is really spending $100 at the bar because I don’t care what you say. If she actually worked for her money she would not be blowing it like that so I assume its her parents hard working money. Seems she’s blowing a lot more than money as well…….stay clean

      • I feel like if this article had been written by a man it would have gotten a whole different set of feedback. I am so sick and tired of what everyone telling girls how to act and what they should do and if they don’t act this way or that way then they are irresponsible sluts with no future and they will end up alone. That’s so archaic.

        I don’t think I’ve ever spent 100 at a bar, nor have I used a bar as a place to pick up men, but if I felt like spending 100 or if I felt like hooking up with a guy at a bar, well it’s a free country isn’t it then? Who the hell is anyone else to judge how anyone else lives their lives? Worry about what YOU do on YOUR own time with YOUR own life. If you don’t want to be around this girl or other girls like her then don’t. Simple as that. The bottom line is that this girl and other girls who do what they want on their own terms don’t give a flying fuck about your opinion.

    • You must have just glazed through these comments. No one said if you go out a lot you’ll be lonely? People like having fun, all the power to them. What people are saying is that wasting money, acting recklessly and hooking up with strangers as much as possible is just not a person that a lot of people want in their lives. I agree. Its ok to have fun but don’t do it at the expense of others.

      I think its dumb to say to ignore feelings for someone. Ignore a strong feeling for someone because you wanna have as much random sex as possible? You can still have a lot of sex with someone you really like, while still having fun out with friends. If someone comes into your life that loves you, don’t ignore it. Make wise choices. Don’t listen to what others say like in this article and these comments. Just do you. Thats whats wrong is that people don’t follow their heart and their ambitions. The internet plants ideas in their mind that aren’t there own.

  34. Good luck finding a decent guy who you can convince to settle down with your std ridden, broke, exrevenge published, out of shape, semen filled, wrinkled ass in your 30s.

  35. I read a lot of questionable articles online, but this by far has to be one of the WORST I’ve ever read! Your article is the exact reason that women continue to have to battle for equality amongst a population of men who view us as sex trophies uncapable of using our minds instead of our breasts to succeed in this world. You paint a terrible picture of what women should strive for not only in their 20s, but at any point in their life!

    I am in my 20s, and I am also happily engaged. Maybe I should break up with my fiancé, and tell all of my friends to break up as well because we haven’t “lived enough” yet. Your ideas of what living in 20s should include is for lack of better words, pathetic and sets women back another 50 years. Your presumption that we need to be selfish and hook up with “sexy guys” shows just how immature and probably bitter you are with your life. What does having random boyfriends, hookups, and being selfish teach you that will benefit you later in life when you find “the one.” There is NO timeline on finding someone! I have experienced amazing things, traveled, learned about who I am and how loving I can be with my fiancé, things I may have never done on my own. And just because I didn’t spend that time finding random guys in bars or making bad decisions with alcohol, doesn’t mean I I didn’t enjoy any part of my life.

    I feel extremely sorry for all of the poor girls who will be brainwashed by the absolute crap you published in this shameless and probably uneducated article. To those girls, please remember that you will never look back and regret your 20s if you have someone meaningful by your side and didn’t spend it picking up your heels from a random persons bedroom that you’ll never speak to again. Instead, love who you are with, experience what you can throughout ALL ages of your life, and make a name for yourself by using your mind and not your body!

    As Lauren Conrad says: “My favorite position? CEO.”

  36. Some people marry when they’re 40 and it ends in divorce, some marry when they’re 19 and it lasts forever and vice versa — telling women that they should be selfish and reckless in their 20’s is equally as wrong and judgmental as pressuring them to be married and pregnant by age 25. There is no “right or wrong way” to live your life and thats the problem with all of these “20 experiences you should have before you turn 30,” articles.

    Its like when people say Victorias Secret models are too skinny, or that men only like women with curves — body hate is still body hate – the VS angels aren’t walking around insulting any “curvy” women, so they deserve the same respect. There is nothing wrong with finding yourself in a loving, serious relationship at a young age – and if you’re going to preach tolerance, then you should practice it too.

  37. I agree with the general premise of this article (i.e. don’t settle for someone who isn’t right just because you think the timing is right). BUT basically the rest of this article is dangerously misguided!

    In college, I had awful relationships, I had great relationships, got black-out wasted, hooked up with guys whose names I didn’t know, spent too much money, etc. College is the time for that kind of roller coaster- NOT your twenties when you are learning how to take care of yourself, be a responsible adult, and prepare for you future. Now I am 25, own my own company, make 6 figures a year, save when I can, spend when I want, travel once a year, go to bed at 10:30 so I can wake up at 5:30 for work, and I have had a long-term boyfriend for the last year and a half who I live with and am very happy with. I definitely do not have a crazy gal-in-my-twenties-rockin-good-time-without-a-care-in-the-world lifestyle, like this article suggests I am supposed to because I’m young. And I am very very okay with that. This article kiiiiiind of suggests that if you are not living like that in your twenties, you are wasting your youth. I don’t know if the guy I am dating is going to be the man I marry, but I do know I would never have met him – or any decent man with sound values and priorities – if I had acted the way Kaleigh, the modern twenty-something woman of today’s world/amateur blogger says I should at my age. And more importantly, if I lived my twenties like that, by the time 30 comes around, I doubt I would ever have learned to respect and value myself or the people around me the way a real modern woman of today’s world should.

    Kaleigh- I am sure you have done some great things with your life, in spite of the party-hard lifestyle you seem to promote. But I disagree with your earlier post in the comment section that nobody wants to read about that because it’s boring…I would LOVE to read more pieces about what women in their twenties are accomplishing. I think the reason you have gotten so many negative comments is not because people want to put YOU down, but because this attitude of care-free living that you are promoting is just not the right message for young women today. If you were simply talking about your own experiences and your own lifestyle choices, that would be one thing, but you phrase this article as ADVICE to other twenty-somethings. Again, your premise is dead-on! Girls/woman shouldn’t settle and should always make time to have fun, especially while they’re still young. But the way you went about expounding on that, and the anecdotes you chose are SO SO WRONG!

  38. Yes, you can keep this act up all the way into your 40s. But you will end up living a long and miserable life, never finding someone good enough. Not to mention all of the decent guys will know you have been around and around and around. So none of them will want a used up body. Keep your morals, keep your values, and focus on getting back to your roots and what you really look for in a partner.

    Hope you find him, without destroying yourself first.

  39. Im not going to say anything on the article but I will give my personal experience on girls who are like this.

    I am a 20 year old male college Junior. I go out every single weekend and have alot of fun with my friends. I became very close with this one girl in my group of friends and we ended up hooking up. Being in my friend group I assumed we would get serious because why would we not, were around each other all the time and it wasnt a random hook up. I fell for her hard. Turned out she was a huge whore who liked to get blacked out at the bar and hook up with as many guys as possible. New ones every weekend.

    I was devastated but she opened up to me and I knew things about her no one else new so even though I knew she was a whore and participated in activities in this article, I still cared for her. We would hang out all the time and still flirt. Months went by and after a few very emotional nights from her she told me how lonely she was (already at 20) from her whoring around and she was now ready to get serious and never got over me either. I made her happy and would have done anything for her. Month or so passed and she began whoring around again.

    Well as much as I loved her I realized I don’t need people like that in my life. She doesn’t care about others and now many of us in our group of friends have no respect for her and do not hang out with her anymore. Its very hard for me knowing how she is “lonely” and what not but this is what will happen when you decide to act like this article. This is a completely true story so for any girls reading this who think its ok just know what your doing and how people will treat you. I feel horrible that this girl has lost friends but what does she expect. You may think your “living out your youth”, but I can think of alot better ways than hurting people who care about you and hooking up with as many guys as possible and wasting hard earned money. Sure spend money at the bar, buy shots for your friends, buy shots for that nice guy who helped get your car out of the snow the other day. Dont waste time with people who don’t care about you.

    • I just read your other article on d-bags and it was very contradicting. You say to not hook up with that guy and be a whore only to feel bad about yourself. I dont know if you’ve been hurt by a guy or what but it seems so. Im sorry if that happened, but just because one person hurt you doesn’t mean you should go slut around as an excuse because thats just gunna lead to more bad things. Learn from it and move on. I know this is an opinion piece but dont try to turn it into advice. Everyone should do whatever it is they want to do. Know the consequences and live life. You never know who will stay or go. You never know when it will end. Do you want to die tragically with no strong relationships because you wanted to have as much reckless fun as possible and throw away those guys who cared for you. Dont be afraid to fall in love. its apart of life and its what makes us human. What other species has that?

  40. I am 21. I am single. I drink – socially with friends. NOT partying. I have never blacked out because I’ve drank too much. I have debt because I’m in college, not because I’m spending money I don’t have on pointless shit.
    I have a job – that pays very well. It’s not in the field that I want but I’ll get there soon.
    I have had a few boyfriends – only one that I thought was “the one” this is the man that I lost my virginity to. BUT hey I don’t hook up and I haven’t had sex since. Sex is more intimate to me than just hooking up with hot guys.
    I will find the man that I will marry not by wrecking myself, but by staying true to me and being a good person.

    I’m not going to judge who you all are – the author, and other comments here – I acknowledge that you are not me, and you will live the way you want to live. That’s part of life

  41. Okay so I wasn’t going to defend my self on this however here it goes:

    1. In no where did I say that this was advice, like I had mentioned in my previous comment I write for entertainment. Watch MTV for an hour and see all of these “reality shows” that are exaggerated for humor, much like my writing. I write about things that are funny and that girls can relate to but I never claimed that this was a true story or my autobiography, if you would like one, feel free to contact me I’ll write one specifically for you.

    2. In no where do I say you should do these things every night or even every weekend. Maybe I should have chosen my words a little more carefully. I have an established career, I get up and go to work from 8-5 every day then come home and take classes at night for reasons I don’t feel I need to express to any of you. I know the value of a dollar, however if I want to go out and spend 100$ at the bar every once in a while or go out on a Tuesday night because I had a bad day at work or I’m stressed from school, I can. I work hard for my money and I can spend it how I please.

    3. I did not say anything negative about the people who are settled down, I just merely mentioned that every time I log on to Facebook there is someone else engaged or pregnant and it does not make me want to settle down any faster. I think that girls fresh out of college feel pressured to keep up with everyone else, when in reality, they should focus on themselves, whether that means traveling the world, establishing a career, or whatever it takes to find out who you really are. I just think a lot of girls rush into relationships because of societal pressures, because at one point I was one of those girls and I was miserable. Have fun, work hard, live your life the way you want, and if a guy comes along in the mean time, that’s awesome.

    That’s all I have to say, you can keep spreading your hate comments, I expected a backlash with an article this controversial. It’s doing exactly what I wanted it to do, it’s getting a hell of a lot of attention. If you find my writing offensive, I suggest you don’t read it.

    • “If you find my writing offensive, I suggest you don’t read it.”
      Translation: We should ignore all opinions other than our own.
      Sounds like someone doesn’t want backlash to me.

  42. This is one of the worst articles I have ever read in my entire life. Just because people are dating in their 20’s does not mean they are rushing things. Maybe they’re mature enough to know who the right person is for them. Hooking up with more dudes isn’t going to teach you what you’re looking for in a guy. Having a true relationship will teach you what you do and don’t like, and teaches you how to work through problems! If you think there is someone out there that you will like every little thing about them, then you are sadly mistaken. That’s why the divorce rate is so high. People think marriage is supposed to be perfect, and always rainbows and butterflies. But guess what? You need to work hard if you want something to be great. Nothing handed to you is better than something you’ve continued to work at and then find success in. Don’t waste your time fucking around and going to work hungover and attempt to find “the one” once you’re thirty. But rather go out, work hard, and learn about yourself through relationships, true efforts, and positive experiences. Then, without even thinking about it, the right person will come into your life. And it doesn’t matter what age you are when they come in. Take it in stride and do what’s right for you at any age of your life.

  43. For the topic of “why you shouldn’t settle in your 20s”

    Who gives a fuck if Disney lied, one. Marriage and settling down isn’t about having a fairytale love. It’s about support, encouragement, strengthening each other, growing and learning as people with each other. Not fairytale love.

    The author of this article is partially correct. Women are more independent than they ever have been. Fuck yea! But she is casually saying if you’re married or settled down in your 20s you are dependent on your spouse/partner. Fuck NO. I am independent of my spouse. I work full time and go to school full time. Being matched with a new “hot guy” on tinder is just showing the lack of respect someone can have for themselves. Oh and on a Friday night, I go out and have an hard time picking what flavor of wine I want to grab. Being married and settled down doesn’t change that. FYI.

    YES. LETS SPEND MONEY WE DONT HAVE. Says the child that probably still lives at home. I was out on my own at 17 and there is no room to spend the money you don’t have when rent and car payments need to be made.

    Drink too much? That just sounds like a recipe for “let’s go to jail and fuck everything up”

    Date the wrong guy? Sounds like your just spreading your legs for herpes.
    Oh and don’t hook up with that sexy guy that’s hitting on you. You can either A. Get pregnant. Or B. Again. Get the herps

    OH MY GOSH. you’re right. I’m not my mother. My mother would be a 20 year old mom to a 2 month old baby if I was. But would you look at that, again, full time student, full time hard worker.

    I’m not bashing single people in their 20s. Go for it. Have fun. Don’t bash people that are married in their 20s. Because we still do the same things you do besides sleep around, hit on other people. We go to bars, we go out, we dress up. But it’s with each other. I wouldn’t have it any-other way with my spouse.

  44. This was a very well written article and has yielded strong responses as the author intended.. As someone in their 20’s and a college graduate I couldn’t agree more. You are only given one life and your welcome to live it as you wish. Experimenting and taking risks is how you gain the knowledge you need propel yourself forward instead of living a stagnant lifestyle. As for Nurse Becky, I really hope she doesn’t carry that same form of judgmental and pessimistic treatment toward her surly diverse group of patients she treats. Clearly this author went to college and is living her set dream. Not everyone is seeking to live a life with a relationship and Nurse Becky’s linear mindset just furthers the stereo-type that a woman needs a man to be complete. Normally when someone viciously attacks someones ability to live outside social norms it is a clear sign of their own insecurities, Also, 55 thousand dollars a year? No one cares.

  45. *SPOILER: MEAN, OFFENSIVE, SARCASTIC, ACCURATE POST BELLOW. PROCEED WITH CAUTION*

    I felt like this article was going in a good direction. That was until the truth of everything really sunk in. Let me break it down for you, sweetie (You don’t like being called that? Does it make you feel like a little girl? Whelp, based on this article, you are.) Let me break it down for you.

    One, this article isn’t being shared like wild fire catching a forest because of how ‘well written’ and ‘oh so insightful’ it is. It’s being shared because it’s pretty funny-no, like seriously, it’s pretty fricken fantastic that you actually think you wrote a worthwhile article, and people are sharing it because they love it. I’ll clarify this, in case there’s any confusion (You may just be too hungover to really understand this) THIS ARTICLE IS BEING SHARED BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY THAT YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS IS RIGHT. Aw, look at you-you made a funny! Pat yourself on the back, because that’s the most you deserve (Though I will sat your writing is better then what you find in ‘Twilight’ so there’s your gold medal. Would you like to say a thank you speech? Too bad, shut up and sit down.). Anyone who agrees with this article is only agreeing because they’re in your position; this leads me to point two!

    Two, correct me if I’m wrong (Don’t correct me, because I won’t admit I’m wrong in this situation) but I think I know why you wrote this article. I think you wrote this article because you’re jealous. There, I said it. I said the ‘J’ word. What brings me to this conclusion? Well, for one, you attack girls who found guys that they love, and by them being in a relationship (Dating or engaged) they’re less of a women, and are just too ‘weak’ to function without a man. When, in reality-they’re in love, someone loves them, and they’re ridiculously happy. You’re bitter, because you haven’t found that special guy (And if you keep sleeping around with guys, trust me doll, guys won’t be asking you for a relationship, or bring you home). So instead of being happy for the girls around you, and waiting your patient turn, you drink your problems away, show up to work/school hungover, and sleep around with other guys. Guess where that’s going to get you? Either fired, failing, and not even FAINT sign of a relationship heading your way. You’re bitter, and you’re going to justify your actions by making it seem like THIS is what real 20 something year old’s do, oh, we’re missing out on SO much, our life is boring…no, this POST is boring. Seriously, I struggled while reading it.

    All of the things you’ve been doing doesn’t make you a women, intelligent, responsible, or pave the way for a bright future. It’s makes you a GIRL, and sorry, but a slut. Yes, you are a slut (Seriously, look at the definition, it’s pretty accurate). You sleep around with random guys (Likely going to contract an STD) and you think it makes you more of a women. I’m LOLing right now, seriously, if only you could be here. At your rate, no guy will want to touch you with a ten foot pole. I wouldn’t even hug you-and I really like giving hugs. That’s a serious problem, hun.

    So to conclude, this post is garbage. Trash. It’s not enlightening, and it’s pathetic. Grow up. You’re in your 20’s, start acting like it.

    For the record, also, there are plenty of 20 something year old women in relationships who are having a blast. I include myself in that. I work an awesome job, do really well in school, am a female engineering student (Boy, the math sucks…but I likes planes, so go Aerospace!) have an amazing group of friends who I love, and have a boyfriend who I love. I’m not missing out on ‘getting to know’ myself, or a college experience by dating him. He brings out the best in me, made me realize who I am as a person, and has made my time in college so damn kick ass. I go to school, I work hard, I hang with my friends, I get drunk, I make stupid choices, I learn from them, I don’t sleep with random guys (trash down, class up, baby) and am in love.

    So I’m doing it wrong?

    Haha…oh boy, honey, you better fix your priorities and mindset, otherwise you got one HELL of a life ahead of you.

    Peace out, love.

    • Go Marie! Wouldn’t mind reading some articles written by you! But I am shocked at how many girls have shared and “Liked” this on my facebook feed! This mindset seems to be the norm for girls. It’s what MTV shoves down your throat with shows like Girl Code. I’m all about drinking, I’ve had a one night stand, and yeah I’ve spent WAY too much money at the bar before, and that’s ok. But doing these things on a regular basis is not.

      • Why thank you! How sweet of you! Honestly, the girls I’ve seen who have shared it via Facebook have all been sorority girls. I’m not saying there’s anything WRONG with being a sorority girl (I’m friends with many) but the ones who have posted this article are particularly, well…let’s just say enthusiastic about spreading the love (and their legs). I agree, in the sense that shows, movies, music is telling us this is completely acceptable. I’d also say that it’s encouraging it, and then there’s geniuses like our wonder writer up above (I mean ‘wonderful writer’ in the most sarcastic way) who insist that this is the norm of society, and if you don’t do it, you’re not ‘living it up’. I slip up every so often, too-I drink a shot too many, get so drunk that I feel gracious and pay for all my friends meals at Steak&Shake, and wonder around my apartment complex in my bare feet after an alarmingly drunk night.

        But the key is, I’ve LEARNED from those things. I limit my shot intake, and tell my friends to get out their damn wallets, and I don’t wear heels anymore, because they SURE AS HELL will NOT be on my feet at the end of the night.

        Glad someone agreed with me, you earned a nice, bright star in my book. Go you!

  46. Or why not just let every girl do her own thing and figure it out? We are not all the same. If you want to go crazy, go crazy! If not, that’s cool too.

    • I feel like this is a sad excuse to extend the college hookup and binge lifestyle that should only last 4 years of your life. I disagree wholehearted with this article because I feel like it blatantly pushes away the idea of being happy with someone. You have kids in your mid twenties so you can see and spend time with your grand kids. Not because you are settling or because you will get divorced. The divorce rate is high because we are a society of instant gratification and have learned that being selfish is more important than working things out. The very concept of this article supports a divorce ridden society because it talks about being selfish and dating multiple people to mans you happy. If we follow that we will never learn to stick with one person and work things out. This article is exactly what is wrong with us. We should break the ideal of selfishness and focus on family and building characteristics of a society that accepts struggle in a relationship and makes it work. Sorry for my rant but this article irritates me. I could continue more and will gladly do so if you want me to engage in a discussion but quite frankly you are grossly incorrect.

      • I also agree with Tanner’s comment. To each their own of course, but I’m in my early 30s and have been with my husband a total of 7 years (4 of them married), and we just had a beautiful baby boy. That would mean I totally “settled” in my 20s. I knew in order to have my “happily ever after” (which to me is not of the Disney variety, but the fact that I’ve found the love of my life and we are willing to fight the good fight through ups and downs for the remainder of our lifetime together), would mean I would have to be the type of woman that a man would want to spend the rest of his life with. How much easier would it be to spend the rest of your life with someone who has their stuff together – debt free (or willing to take care of that asap for the sake of your future together), is healthily selfless, sober, drama free and willing approach situations as a team, rather than someone who doesn’t have it all together? Of course I think we are all on a path of continuous self-improvement and no one is perfect, but to encourage young women to think that a happily ever after is “just not attainable”, or “shouldn’t be” is just sad and yes, truly is an exact reflection of why the divorce rate in this country is so high. People don’t stick together who don’t want to fight to keep their marriage together. If you’re looking for the quality man who you would want to spend the rest of your life with, you are definitely not going to find him as you’re hooking up with multiple guys at once after a drunk night out at the bars and having spent hundreds of dollars getting yourself there.

      • I don’t agree with you. I DO agree with the wonderful woman that wrote the article! What she was trying to say is “sew your wild oats” BEFORE you “just settle” for the wrong guy only to have this revelation as you are carrying a two year old and are 6 months pregnant while arriving into divorce court. All she is saying is don’t be pressured by friends, family or other well meaning meddlers into doing something either that A.) you’re not ready for or B.) you have other goals in mind for yourself BEFORE settling down. Women’s lives are VERY different than they were 30-50 years ago. Re-read what she said about women and career’s and goals. Women are awesome amazing creatures that can do ANYTHING they set their minds to in this day and age. Their lives include much more than marrying someone and having children. She said nothing about not wanting to work hard on a relationship. And last but not least the frontal lobe of the brain that is responsible for reasoning and judgement isn’t completely formed until the age of 25 … so, whatever you do ladies …. after 25 please?? :)

    • This is rather degrading for women. I myself am now 20, almost 21 and I find this rather degrading to women in terms of respecting themselves. A lot of women will read this and go ooh, she’s right maybe I should whore myself out until I’m ready to settle down. It’s wrong. Can I just say girls, getting into a relationship does not mean that you can’t have fun anymore, otherwise why would you get into one?! If you are with the right man you go out and kick some ass at them clubs together, you take your drinking competitions, party your ass off, and carry each other home. Then you wake up the next day laughing about everything that happened the night before, feeling like shit but knowing you had each other. Wouldn’t you rather that than waking up next to som bloke whom clearly proves you had beer goggles on the night before, feeling dirty, not knowing his name and not knowing how the fuck to get home? …. If you find the right man then you do it all together.. This article says otherwise to young vulnerable girls who feel no one wants them. It’s not true there is someone out there for everyone you just have to be patient. I found my man and my life didn’t get duller, it got better and more fun. Don’t listen this girls trust me you can find your man the right way!

  47. So you’re saying that 20-somethings should throw responsibility out the window because, well, why the hell not?

    This article is disappointing. I respect your right to your own opinion and lifestyle, but I don’t think you should be encouraging irresponsibility. As a 20 year old in college, I think it’s important to have fun, but because you don’t sleep around doesn’t mean that you’re not living up to your potential. If anything, it’s about time to start growing up and gaining some valuable life experience.

    • as a male stumbling upon this post on facebook, I couldn’t agree more. let’s throw responsibility out the window, let’s get STDs, lets get pregnant cus it will be a funny story later! Anyone who claims to be a box wine connoisseur writing in article is no longer credible.

      • “If nothing else, it will make for a funny joke for you and your friends….” Or an STD?! But hey, you only live once right? I completely agree with tanner. This post IS what’s wrong with the world. I’m sorry, but most of those business, goal oriented women making 6 figures a year that you refer to most likely wouldn’t do anything you mentioned in this post.

  48. Yeah some girl shared this on facebook. And I am a guy so I am just gonna post my opinion

    yeah you can do what you want. great, fucking awesome.
    Yeah you can hook up with guys at parties. this is kind of the norm now I dont expect the saving for marriage behavior that was common 40+ years ago.

    But too much skanky behavior, too much drinking, too much drug use, and racking up tons of debt is a great way to scare away any suitors for later….Most girls I know who had a lifestyle like this in there twenties look like shit later. That said do what you want. but dont encourage girls to rack up a shit ton of debt and not keep there shit together for #YOLO’s sake

    • You completely missed the point. She wasn’t encouraging this behavior, but if you are going to do it, get it out of your system BEFORE you settle down. All she is saying is don’t cave in to the “pressure” of others that love to meddle into your life and think that they know what is best for you. All she is saying is live your life, be happy, if you have a wild streak… get it out of your system BEFORE you settle down. And that goes for the guys as well.

      • While I agree with not feeling pressured to settle when not ready…I totally disagree with this idea of going wild before you find the right person. My husband and I both did that and when we did find each other we had regrets about this kind of lifestyle the author is writting about. Who willingly wants to bring that baggage into a relationship? What this article should be focusing on is finding your own identity before finding the right guy. This can be done with focusing on your education, career, or travelling. Sleeping around is still depending on someone else for satisfaction. And getting wasted constantly is just a waste of time, money, and brain cells. I think it can be good to wait to settle down to make sure you find the right guy that won’t end in divorce….but I don’t agree that this is the best way of doing it.

      • The problem with your theory is it doesn’t take the men’s perspective into account. YOU may want to party your ass off and then settle down in your 30’s, but that doesn’t a man will want to settle down WITH you after you’ve spent the most attractive phase of your life “getting it out of your system.”

      • Viking is clearly an idiot. We don’t want to take in a MAN’S perspective. You Neanderthals go wild in your twenties and expect us to want to settle with you after the fact, so there isn’t anything wrong with us living our lives and figuring out what is going on before we decide to settle. God, I HATE that men think they can do whatever but women just have to sit home and stare at the walls.

        • It’s amazing how many old cat ladies I know who are single. There’s a reason that the marriage rate is only about 30%. Women wait too long to get married and men are looking for younger women who haven’t spent much time on the carousel. The Wall is getting closer all the time. 30, 29, 28….

      • Actually “oh wise one” in Europe they enjoy their twenties and marry in their 30s and have kids then. So you’re wrong. I lived in Germany where no one would think to marry so young, but wait until they’ve finished school, have a career and have had their fun.

      • Viking is not clearly an idiot. The fact that you don’t care about a man’s perspective means that there is no reason a man should care about yours. No one said that you have to stare at the walls at night while men go out and sleep with all kinds of women (and not all of us do, frankly). But the article is encouraging slutty behavior. There is nothing wrong with going out, having fun with your friends, getting too drunk, etc., but there is a lot wrong with “accidentally leaving your underwear at a guys house” and making it seem like it’s a not a big deal. A few times here and there throughout a college career…ok, fine. We all experiment once we get out of the confines of our parents’ house. But I can guarantee you the girls I went to college with (I graduated two years ago from a big SEC school with a party school-type atmosphere) who slept with a lot of guys are not going to settle with a decent guy, because they STILL DO THE SAME THINGS THEY DID IN COLLEGE-they just now are doing it in a different city and have a little more money in their pockets. Point being, a girl who has a rather slutty history and has slept with multiple guys is not going to “get it out of her system;” more likely, it’s a red flag and part of who she is, and a big indicator that she would have no problem cheating on her future husband later on the down the road. And before you barrage me with your “you’re a sexist asshole of a man” comments, the same goes for guys, too. I’m not suggesting that a good-hearted woman who has behaved herself minus a few slip ups (a real FEW, not the ones that “don’t count”) deserves to be with a man who has slept around far too often, because she doesn’t.

        If the author of this article truly believes that she can act this way for a significant period of her twenties, and then meet Mr. Right and live happily ever after, she is gravely mistaken. Mr. Right will instead choose the good-hearted woman mentioned above because they share similar values and morals, and subsequently kick the author to the curb. It’s the age old concept of natural selection we learned in high school Biology class but with a modern twist-people date, get engaged, marry, settle down, have children with, etc. to those who are of the same status of them. Status here includes morals and values and the like, not just the idea of the social class system.

        So to those of you ladies out there who fall into the age group of the women mentioned in the article, and agree with the author, go out and do what you want-seriously. The modern woman has the freedom that her female ancestors could not have, and to not take advantage of that freedom is just silly. But just don’t take it too far. If you act without dignity and self-respect, you won’t meet your Mr. Right. Instead, you will truly “settle” for someone who acted just like you did in your twenties-a man who puts no emphasis on morals and values, and who really takes you seriously despite all of your “fun” you had in your twenties. Is that the kind of man you really want to marry, be the father of your children and grow old with together? Or is he just an older version of a boy who has learned nothing about life since high school and college?

        Maybe this sounds harsh, but I’m not going to apologize if it does, because like it or not this is still the way the world works. And a modern young professional woman who truly understands this on a deep level will win any man over every day. Not a boy, but a man. If you want a boy, act like a girl. If you want a man, act like a woman. And vice versa, gentlemen.

    • I’m sorry to say this, and am honestly saying this in the most kind way I possibly can, but do NOT wait for a fairy tale. They don’t exists. This is coming from a girl who’s deeply in love right now. I love my relationship, and my boyfriend. But is it hard work? Yes. So don’t be looking for a Fairy Tale-look for a guy who loves you for you, and makes you a better person. It’s the best thing you’ll find right now.

      • I do agree with that. Luckily, I don’t have to have to wait though, I have already been with my boyfriend for years and years and it had been nothing less than a fairy tale everyday, even when it’s been hard. Everyday, I couldn’t imagine anyone more amazing. But, i completely agree that they should be someone that loves you, and help you grow as an individual , as well as a couple. Maybe we have different ideas of what the fairy tale is, but I do think we have a similar idea of what equals a good, solid relationship since you clearly love your boyfriend and relationship as well. Love is a wonderful thing. Although, I do appreciate your thoughtful advice! Much love and good wishes to you and your boyfriend! Xx

      • Agree. People get confused about “butterfly’s” vs “love”. Butterfly’s eventually go away! Fairy tales do not exist.. Hard work and dedication are the real love story!

  49. The guy above nailed it…

    “But too much skanky behavior, too much drinking, too much drug use, and racking up tons of debt is a great way to scare away any suitors for later….Most girls I know who had a lifestyle like this in there twenties look like shit later.”

    A girls value is based almost entirely on her looks. Sad but true. For the most part. Woman lose value over time. This lifestyle is the quickest way to be in your late twenties desperate for a relationship cause you look like shit.

    I understand what you are saying but the part about excess partying and debt are a little ridiculous.

    • Excuse my language, your comment is not only blatantly offensive but fucking stupid. Women* do not lose value over time, and to suggest such does not reflect our worth but, perhaps, your feelings of self-worth being a male in a society where women are taking over more of “your” jobs each day. The writing shared a message encouraging young adults to not settle in any arena of life, most especially in relationships. I don’t understand how a “girl’s” value based almost entirely on her looks is part of that message.

      • Thank you Joyce.”The writing shared a message encouraging young adults to not settle in any arena of life, most especially in relationships.” is exactly what I took from this article. I didn’t take it as glorifying drinking, selfishness, irresponsibility and hooking up nor do I think that was the intended message.

      • He meant that the value of a woman decreases over time in the “dating game”, especially so if she lived a “fast” lifestyle earlier on. I’ve noticed in my own life that this type of woman becomes bitter and becomes a hater later on down the line if she can’t find anyone to wife her up, there’s no shortage of sucker dudes out here these days though that will “simp” (sympathize) with this type of woman, taking on all of her baggage that she’s accumulated in the process.

        The truth hurts but the fact is that when a man is ready to settle down, a real man who isn’t foolish anyways, he wants to find a real woman who has her shit together and hasn’t had 3 kids by 3 different baby daddies. Also girls who have spent alot of their dating years slutting around tend to have alot of psychological issues with men that no one wants to be dealing with when it comes time for marriage.

        In this day and age being a hoochie has become popular because of the type of culture that is being presented now, just look at all of the pop culture icons we have now and there will be no question as to how we have transitioned into a slut culture. Alot of feminists love to use those politically correct terms like “sexually liberated” but that basically translates as a fancy word meaning hoe.

    • Really? A girl’s value is based almost entirely on her looks? What year is this again? I’m attractive and I’ve had my fair share of fun so this really shouldn’t offend me but you sound like a straight up douche.

      • Yes really. The kind of value that matters when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. The year is completely irrelevant because biology doesn’t conform to pop culture fads and ideas.

      • This is preposterous. A girl’s value is NOT just her looks. It’s the whole package. Viking is a straight up douche. No one wants to be with an asshole, doesn’t matter what HE looks like.

        • When it comes to sex, which is mostly what being single is about, looks in a woman count for a whole lot.

          If you’re a fattie, lose weight if you want a man. Men like long hair on young women. Men prefer skirts over pants.

          In a LTR, men care a lot if a woman is sweet, warm, exclusive to him, and has homemaking skills. Looks are more important if the man is under 40; they still are need to get you to be considered.

          If you want to lose a man, gain a lot of weight and go on a sex strike. Be bitchy and cold. Sleep around a lot.

  50. I think every person leaving a comment is forgetting the uniqueness that comes with each one of us. I’m not setting in my twenties. I am 25 and unbelievably happy that I am not married yet. I have not found one person I truly believe I could be with still today. If this selfishness rubs off into the fact that I don’t get to spend as much time with my grandkids then so be it. I would give them the same advice, along with my own kids, worry about yourself first, and your grandkids later. That is my philosophy, it doesn’t have to be yours. I like this article, because the fact is the divorce rate is out of control, and sure a lot of it is that we can’t be adults and work shit out. But, a lot of it is that we are forcing things with people we shouldn’t be with. I see it over and over again. I see these people marrying others that they clearly don’t work with. So, Tanner, go and get married to the next person you date. Hope you enjoy yourself, but I am not heading down that path. I would rather live alone then be in a relationship I regret. I’ve seen two people spend their lives together, forcing it for their kids, when they both know that all their kids know they shouldn’t be together. I don’t want my kids to see that. I want to subject my kids to what a relationship should really be about. Caring for one another, bringing out the best in both of you and enjoying their time so much that you’d rather bind your life to them than go on without them. Don’t be simple minded, not everyones like you and I see this article as a wonderful expression of this.

    That goes for you too, Hayley, Anonymous and Anonymous.

  51. WOW! So, basically dont look after yourself and by the time you’re 30 youll need a liver transplant and live the rest of you’re life in pain and wishing you had’ve taken better care of yourself.

    This article is really f#!*ing stupid.
    You don’t need to stay up till all hours of the night drinking to excess and f#!*ing random men to have fun and be independent, if that’s what you want to do then go ahead. But I’d rather take care of my body and have it still working just as well when I’m in my 60’s, thanks.
    And thats not even getting into the sexual health side of things because ‘NEWSFLASH!’ Condoms are not 100% safe against STD’s.

  52. Yes, female business professionals were totally unheard of in 1994. You should also definitely binge drink and consider hooking up with a dude you don’t know while you are wasted. Or initiate something while blacked out. This is a great plan for maximizing your youth. Also you cannot possibly focus on yourself while in a relationship, so true.

  53. This article gives an excuse for acting like an irresponsible teenager. I’m twenty-five years old, married for almost five years, with a 7.5 month old baby girl. I am beyond happy that my husband and I choose this route for our lives. We saved ourselves for each other on our wedding night. We have grown and continue to grow and change TOGETHER. We now have a beautiful baby girl whom we love with every ounce of our beings. We wouldn’t change our life to have a few wasted, (yes wasted), years of debt, drinking, drugs, random meaningless sex, etc. We married young, but now we GET to enjoy the rest of our lives together. Making memories. Building a family. Being happy. Why wouldn’t someone want that? I’m sad for anyone who would choose some lousy meaningless lays and hangovers over being happily married.

  54. We men love hooking up with you party girls when you young and hot. Too bad your gonna hit the wall in the next 3 to 5 years. A high value man isn’t going to marry you when you hit 30 lol. We will ask if you have a little sister. Men have caught on to the “strong independent woman” good look finding a man to dig you out of that mess.

  55. Is getting black out drunk, sleeping with people you don’t know, using adderall to recover from hangovers, etc even remotely possibly good advice? I feel like this article could easily have been written by a 40 year old, socially conservative male to simply troll the younger generations.

  56. This article is spot on. As a male that’s exactly what I want to end up with. A drunk, irresponsible, debt ridden woman who has already been taken for a drive by the entire town. It would spice things up even more if she has been with some of my friends, we would have something else to shoot the shit about as well as another common interest. I can truly say I would be very proud to bring a woman like this home to my family, as well as start a family with.

    What a joke.

  57. Hmm, some valid points on your article. However, feminism isn’t about completely rejecting what history has said is the female norm. Feminism is about having the choices, the opportunities, and the freedoms to make your own path as a woman. We should not slut-shame woman who choose to be more sexual or even hyper-sexual, but promiscuity isn’t a choice every woman wants to make. The same goes for imbibing. The pseudo-advice in this article is just that – not all the way there. I choose to be in a committed relationship at 24 because it’s the right choice for me. I completely understand and stand up for the woman out there who do not want that. Society judges harshly on women because for so long our attachment to a man was the most important goal. I hope that every woman who chooses to be in a relationship is in a healthy one and remains a strong individual person outside of her partner, and I hope that every woman who chooses to be single isn’t alone as society likes to make us think. Bottom line, every woman {not just those of us who are in our early-mid-twenties} should be made to feel and understand that women are just as integral in all aspects of society as men are and that we can be who we want, when we want, and make the choices that are right for us.

    On a separate note, the divorce rates of the baby boomers had little to do with the age at which they married. Our parents’ generation divorced because they were raised to not settle for less. Our grandparents’ generation went through the Great Depression and the second World War, so when they had children, they wanted the best for them. That meant raising them to be a little more greedy about their happiness, so when their marriages started being less enjoyable, the way to fix it was through divorce. So, it’s not about age, although it may indirectly impact divorce rates.

  58. maybe the divorce rate is so high because girls think its ok to sleep around as much as possible and get accidentally pregnant so they get stuck with a guy who the feel forced to marry only to eventually divorce him. Or maybe its high because girls are just turning more into whores each and every day. Its a proven fact guys fall quicker and harder in love than girls, yet girls try to make it seem like there the vulnerable ones and there the ones treated poorly. Your treated poorly because some girls think its ok to do this stuff, they hurt a nice guy and that nice guy no longer wants to settle down because his perception on women has been ruined.

    sluts are fun until you fall for one. we will use you for sex if your a slut. we will then let everyone know how easy it was to get with you. you will lose respect. you will die lonely. yes this was a mean post but i don’t care.

    • That whole post is ridiculous. How dare you call women sluts and speak poorly of them for sleeping around and then talk about how disrespectful you are to them yourself?? As a girl who does not sleep around, I have felt the wrath of idiots like you who got treated bad by one girl at the age of about fifteen and then take it out on every girl you meet after that. You all need to man up and get over it!

      • How hypocritical you called his post ridiculous-yours is far worse then his. He’s calling the women sluts that ARE sluts-he simply pointing out the obvious. There’s a definition for the world, and what you explained above is not being a ‘empowered women’ it’s being a slut. Just as a guy who sleeps around isn’t a ‘empowered man’ he’s seen as a man whore, to girls. This is also coming from a girl who is all about power to women. When a women decides to act as a slut, and sleep with multiple guys, she loses the respect of her peers. That’s just how it is, human nature. Because when we see a slut, we see a girl who doesn’t respect herself or her body (Because she’s so willing to give the goods to anyone) so people think, ‘She doesn’t respect herself…so why should we respect her?’ and they don’t. Who’s fault is that? Not theirs. You know what probably happened to the guy above who posted, that you’re attacking? I bet he fell for a girl who liked to slut around, and got hurt by her, because she was only interested in sex. It might not be the case, but if it is, what he’s saying can be seen as valid. I’d just like to say that if you really DO NOT sleep around, like you claimed, you did a horrible job of writing this article. Not only did you set yourself up for being called a slut (You basically glorified sleeping around, so what do you expect?) you made it seem like you do sleep around. So all these comments you’re receiving are, in fact, because of your own doing. Poor writers get the wrong message across-and you, my dear, are obviously not a good writer. He needs to man up and get over it? YOU need to stop preaching about sleeping around with random guys, and expect a guy will actually be interested in you. Good luck on your next article-hopefully it’s not garbage like this one. I’m so looking forward to it.

  59. This has to be the most ridiculous article i ever wasted my time reading and it’s horrible to tell girls to do this. Rack up debt, become broke, become a slut and sleep with every guy you think is hot, become a binge drinker and junkie. Are you kidding me with this article? The reason the divorce rate is so high is because people are so selfish like you say they should be in this article and don’t wanna work things out and make things better. BTW, telling someone to drink all night even if they have work at 8am and pop an adderall when they wake up is disgusting. You’re telling these girls to throw responsibility out the window. And where the hell are that you can just wake up and pop an adderall? That’s not what adderall is for and you have to be prescribed for it. Unless you want these girls to pick some “adderall” up from the guy they met last night while they were drunk and had sex with? Stupid, stupid article. I really hope no girls take your “advice”.

  60. This has to be the most ridiculous article i ever wasted my time reading and it’s horrible to tell girls to do this. Rack up debt, become broke, become a slut and sleep with every guy you think is hot, become a binge drinker and junkie. Are you kidding me with this article? The reason the divorce rate is so high is because people are so selfish like you say they should be in this article and don’t wanna work things out and make things better. BTW, telling someone to drink all night even if they have work at 8am and pop an adderall when they wake up is disgusting. You’re telling these girls to throw responsibility out the window. And where the hell are that you can just wake up and pop an adderall? That’s not what adderall is for and you have to be prescribed for it. Unless you want these girls to pick some “adderall” up from the guy they met last night while they were drunk and had sex with? Stupid, stupid article. I really hope no girls take your “advice”. Slowly losing hope for the future generations.

  61. Or you could keep your opinion to yourself and let what you call us “independent” women make our decisions and be happy on our own accord, without the extra judgement:)

    • He is allowed to see what you do and make a decision about not wanting to date a girl like you because your decisions and self-destructiveness don’t work with his values and morals as a person

  62. If you want to hook up with loads of people that’s cool, if you don’t want to that’s also cool and you shouldn’t be judged either way for it.

  63. Well I for one plan never to marry a girl who fucked around in her 20s. Why would I as a guy want a girl like that? It is just kind of gross to me to think the mother of my kids fucked a lot of random dudes and I don’t think I would want to commit to a women in her 30s when 20 year olds exist.

    • Yeah same I wouldn’t want to hook up with a guy who slept around either because that’s also disgusting
      wait what’s that boys, you think it’s okay that you’ve slept around but when girls do it they’re whores? Well news flash honey, it goes both ways. And what so on her 30th birthday you’d divorce and get a new 20 year old?! Get a grip lmao

      • I don’t sleep around with a ton of girls. Plus most of the girls I know purposefully go for the guys who fuck a bunch of girls.

        It is different if you are already married to her. You aren’t going to trade in your pet dog just because he got old, but an old dog at a shelter has a lot lower of a chance to be adopted than a puppy.

      • Only one problem with your thinking: men age like wine, women age like milk. Your ovaries have an expiration date, I will die with viable sperm. 30-something men with a house and money have no problem getting 20-something women; but it doesn’t work the other way around. At best, after a decade and a half or so of screwing all of those “haaawt guy” band members with tattoos, the best you hope to find is a 20-something loser living in mom’s basement who’s looking for desperate, easy sex. As a guy in my 30’s with a career and my shit together, I am not going to “settle down” with some “empowered” feminist who slept around for ten years, “finding herself”, and maybe popped out a kid or two, and now wants me to pay for her mistakes. You need to “get a grip”. lmao

  64. Entirely leaving aside the questionable arguments about responsibility (and impending alcoholism), I hope when you say “fairy tale love” you don’t mean “an effortless, entirely conflict-free relationship”. If so, I suspect you might end up waiting a bit longer than your 20s. Or 30s. Or 40s. Or natural life span.

  65. Despite the flaws you are all finding in the article (and not all are unfounded), I think the take away we are supposed to have is that we shouldn’t feel bad about not having found “the one” yet. Not that those who have are in the wrong. Whenever you find it, if you’re even looking, doesn’t and shouldn’t matter.

  66. To each their own. What works for someone may not work for someone else. That does not mean to put someone down for what they choose to do with their life.. if you want to settle down so be it. If you want to party it up and live that way so be it.. people need to stop criticizing others for what they choose to do its their life.

  67. To each his own, always. Life is short, drive fast and take chances. However, regardless of the subject matter I had to question, adderall?? Is that now used to cure hangovers? Am I so far out of the loop in my old age that adderall is readily available and used in this way?? I did a little research and it seems that this particular drug is still given on a prescription base only. Hope we’re not glorifying prescription drug abuse…I’m going to walk away thinking a different medicine was intended.

  68. Skank. What the majority of young women (under 30) are these days. They who ride the carousel.

    Vaginosis. Need I say more?

    Advice to guys: Vet all women you are considering marrying/screwing. Get a medical report.

  69. As a 21 year old girl reading this article I couldn’t DISAGREE anymore. I do agree that we shouldn’t settle meaning we shouldn’t settle for some dead beat 20-something guy flunking his classes, get trashed every night, and having a track record a mile long. Meaning if you live this lifestyle you will become the girl version of the guys we are trying to avoid, it makes no sense. I’m all for having fun but sty focused and motivated and have a little class because Prince Charming is not gonna come when you’re 30 and looking like Lindsey Logan’s 7th mugshot

  70. As a middle aged divorced man, I can agree with this article. Whatever you do, not NOT get married right out of high school, unless you want to end up divorced quickly. The woman I married was entirely too young and not ready the day we got hitched. She was raised by her strict parents who put a bunch of religious morals into her head. On our wedding day, she was a church going sheltered virgin that never drank a day in her life. I thought that’s what I wanted. She didn’t have experience in much at all. She wanted to go to college, but I ruined that for her because I insisted that she focus her time on raising our children that I wanted to have right away. To this day, I regret my selfishness. She waned to honor my wishes so she didn’t go to school, made a lovely home for our family, and we raised 2 boys together. As soon as she hit 35, our world was turned upside down. I could tell something was bothering for the the longest time, and I was too afraid to ask. I kind of knew what it was. Finally one day she told me everything that she wished she could have done before she got married. At first I was furious because I felt that we had a lot going for us.

    The truth was, I had it all, she got shafted. She wanted things of her own and I, the selfish husband, took that from her. I didn’t listen to her for years when she expressed interest in going to class at night while I was home with the kids. I realized what I had robbed her of and I knew what I had to do. I had to let her go. Now she’s happy doing the things she never got to do because of me and even though I miss our marriage, I am glad that she’s doing well.

    • My mother was married very, very young and had her first divorce by her early twenties. She married again, had three more children and then that ended in divorce. She found herself alone and she had NO idea how to go about dating, she had no female friends, she had a bunch of kids and a lot of debt that ex husband number 2 racked up.

      Then she discovered dating sites and the men of today’s society completely ruined her as a person, and totally made her rethink and question her morals and values. I watched her learn how to date and basically deteriorate at the same time. I no longer talk to her because I’m still pretty traumatized from watching her turn into a different person right before my eyes.

      It’s so important to really live your life in your earlier years, if not for experience, but to learn who you are as a person. That way, if it ends you know how to go about picking up and moving on. I’m very glad I’m in a different generation, not because I want to sleep with a lot of men, but because I want to have the chance to date, learn about myself, learn what type of man I want to be with and learn to make my mistakes before I settle in something longterm.

      I definitely agree with your comment because I saw my mom go through some really rough things because she was just married too young.

  71. Why would mr right “settle” for a used up alcoholic with flappy meat curtains when he can hook up with that cute 20 year old he just matched with on Tinder?

  72. I see a lot of people defending the author, stating that she is saying “don’t give into the pressure of getting married young.” Well, personally I think t is pretty darn sad that of ALL of the pressures 20 something year old women face, she picks marriage. How about the pressure of politics on women’s rights, the pressure to try and look like a supermodel, or even the pressure from oppressive work environments.

    I just think it is sad that there was so much effort put into this article and instead of championing women to make informed decisions she’s putting the blame on women for making a choice that involves another person. HELLO, there is a partner of some sort involved in marriage. Why is she only addressing women, what about their counter parts.

    She is not even concerned about addressing the men, I guess because they are only hot guys that we should all be hooking up with?
    Why doesn’t she say “Hey guys stop proposing to us?” I must ask why does the author only see women the responsible party for marriage?

  73. “HOOK UP WITH THAT SEXY GUY THAT’S HITTING ON YOU!! Even if he is a stranger and you don’t remember his name the next morning. If nothing else, it will make for a funny joke for you and your friends….”

    and of course you were so out of it you probably couldn’t be arsed to sort a condom, I mean they’re pretty uncool anyway right? Now your friends get to laugh at your raging case of herpes or HIV, but hell, its all in the name of good fun, don’t be a party pooper! Shit, so what if you were so drunk and subsequently hung over that you forgot to take your pill, who cares!? Yeah yeah, you’re pregnant, bla bla bla, whatever. So now you have this kid growing inside your pristine 20somthing tummy! It’s totally going to ruin your figure and chances of finding that magical perfect someone. It’s going to be such a bummer, the little brat’s really going to spoil the fun! I mean you didn’t ask for this! Hit the abortion clinic quick before that shit spoils your game!

    call me old fashion, but your view is fucked.

  74. What an unbelievably piss poor excuse to be a slut. This sounds like a women who will naturally attracted guys who lack respect for women. Maybe that’s why you’re so angry with the peers you have the have found a guy or girl to settle down with? I don’t know. But I can promise you there’s nothing cute about a girl dragging out her community college years having the need to party and, I guess, sleep around. Grow up. You’re the haunting proof of what this world has come to, no one is making you get married but obviously you feel guilty enough about something you have to make excuses for your lifestyle, a whore, to put marriage or relationships down. I’m all about having fun. But your morals are horribly misguided. I can only imagine what your future child would think if they read this. Keep it classy ;) with a post and mind set like that I’m sure you’ll find your fairy tale. I’m sure it goes something like… Trophy wife trophy wife trophy fuck the pool boy trophy wife lol. I’m sure a tossed around college slut has it alllll figured out though. You’re the brightest crayon in the box. We all admire your edgy personality and free spirit! Oh how funny the stories will be! Oh how jealous everyone will be that youre the queen of boxed wine. Oh how well respected you will be my darling. I envy you… Seriously though if you’re drinking box wine.. you don’t need a party. You need a job bitch!!! Keep it up though! You’re making your family and future kids proud ! How lucky they’ll be to have such a slutty experienced mom!!! What a lucky guy;) at least you’ll know your way around the dick!!!!

  75. I love this article. I’m 25 and try to tell my love sick friends this kind of thing. I watch other people in their relationships and don’t understand how they can’t see it’s not going to work after the second or third try with the same person. Explore life! Study abroad! Live different places! If you have a family and babies you can’t do that very easily. Go explore before you tie yourself down. Dating is fun, but what are you going to tell your kids when they ask about your life and where you’ve been and what you saw? Love is a beautiful thing, but loving yourself enough to know you can wait a long time is even more beautiful.

  76. I’m actually glad this is a mentality lots of 20-something women have.

    Without them competing, it makes it that much easier for those of us with our shit together to snag the best catches out there and succeed in those 6 figure jobs.

  77. I enjoyed reading the comments more than reading this article.

    I completely disagree with it, I am now 22 and have never had any interest in sleeping around nor do I understand why people do it. You will never get the same feeling then when you are in love and have sex with your partner. Just sleeping with a stranger, it just seems dirty and not in a good way. And that goes for men and women.
    Being a woman I tend to look down on others who do it, I can’t help but judge because it’s no way to live your life, you’re trying to fill a hole that cannot be filled.
    Sure I’ve had a few drunken times with my friends here and there but that’s not all there is to life.
    I’m not saying you have to be in love to enjoy life but how can endless amounts of drunken nights and one night stands be enjoyable?

  78. this comes across as a desperate attempt to rationalize poor life choices as what she wanted all along…like if you go to a resturant and order the haddock then you see the steak but you get given the haddock and you go “awh it’s ok I acctually really LIKE haddock” but now you really wanted steak but it’s too late you chose haddock you can’t go back and change it cause you’ll look silly, so you say to everyone “mmm this haddock is sooo yummy” even though you’re thinking “urgh haddock is vom I wish i had the steak” ….lol i dunno hopefully she’ll post again in 25 years and we’ll see how it worked out for her…

  79. Poorly written article, desperately lacking any legitimate insight. That said, there’s nothing inherently wrong with her views. There’s no formula for living life or making the “right” decisions. There’s no ultimate measure of a fulfilled life. It’s ALL relative. We do the best we can and deal with the consequences. Her choices may lead her to the right person, at the right time. They may not. My only advice is, don’t take the good things or people that are in front you, right now, for granted. You may not have as much time as you think. And you may not get second chances.

  80. I hate to say it, but most guys will not agree with your sentiment. It is a cruel truth but the older you get and the more people that you have been with, the less desirable you become to some males. So if you are planning on living that lifestyle and then finding a better guy later in life, he is probably already going to be taken by a girl who doesn’t live the selfish life in their twenties. I am by no means knocking your choice to live that way, I am merely stating that living that way and then later on finding a your dream guy do not typically go hand in hand.

  81. I believe that a fundamental issue is missing from this article and the discussion that has followed…
    Some of you are saying it’s great to find the man you’ve been looking for, others suggest it is ok to sample the smorgasbord of men on offer before trying to find the right man….
    The main point in all of this that I find unsettling is the very concept of “finding a man”.
    Why can’t the main focus in a woman’s life be her career, her happiness or her right to explore the world?
    Why are we, as woman (sorry gentlemen…), programmed to find the idea of having a husband and a child, or children, an attractive one?
    Rather than YOLOing all over the place, why not take the time to really reflect on what you want, as an individual, not dictated by society or your mother?
    Woman in their 20s, in my opinion, are at the prime age to go travelling and actually appreciate it; they’re at the age when it’s ok to eat that questionable street meat in the middle of a Chinese food quarter in Beijing, sure, there might by some gastrointestinal issues later on but at least you gave it a go; give a little back through various volunteering and charity organisations… animal sanctuaries, build a school or a home for children, look into helping the homeless where you live, etc.
    Woman in their 20s can settle down and have the whole married with children life if that’s what they want, but if I ever have a daughter (not that I have any children now, nor do i particularly aspire to have them) I will tell her that before she can give herself completely to another person, she most know the person she is giving, and if she doesn’t, she might wanti to find out a bit more about that girl and what she likes and what she’s capable of….

  82. The post here seems to be misunderstood by many of those who have started families young and who have defensively spouted, offensively, words such as ‘slag’ and the idea that the writer is bitter for being alone. The message isn’t that it’s bad to ‘settle down’ in your 20’s, if you find that special person go for it! but it’s arguing that if you aren’t lucky enough to find that person it’s OKAY. Rather, feeling pressured into ‘settling’ for a sub-par match out of some sense that your life is incomplete or worthless without a mate is ridiculous!

  83. You are free to be a binge drinking party girl, that is your right. But men also have rights. And one of those rights is the freedom to reject a current or former binge drinking party girl as a wife or LTR. When it comes to relationships, what men want matters, too. The life you are living now will make it much harder to find and keep “Mr. Right” when you are finally ready for him.

  84. When do you plan on settling down though? Mr Right isn’t going to magically appear at the perfect time and age. A lot of women think they can party their life to 30 and be happily married straight after. A guy will probs want to date for a least a year, so you’ll be 31, and it it doesnt work out that’s a year wasted and suddenly panic slowly creeps in. Gotta snag a guy soon as 35 looms closer and you ask “where are all the good men gone?”. They’re with young 25 year olds, and the only men left are deemed undiserable by you as you’ve had years of high quality fit men. At 35+ you’re about ready to settle for anything at that point. Good luck, keep partyin girl!

  85. Here’s the problem:

    Women rapidly lose physical attractiveness after age 30, almost universally.

    Men who have options aren’t interested in committing to someone who has had dozens or hundreds of dicks inside of her before she turned 25. You’ll either have to lie, and odds are your past will come up later and ruin everything – or you’ll have to settle for someone who pretends he doesn’t mind your sexual past because he has no better options.

    Not only that, the more casual sex you have, the less likely you are to ever be able to be happy in a normal relationship. Men know this.

    Once you hit 30 and you’ve slept with a hundred men, those of us who have some self-respect will be looking for girls younger than you. Girls who didn’t decide to slut it up during their best years. Girls who realize that men still value some degree of purity.

    If getting boned by anyone you please for a decade is more important to you than a long-term relationship with a quality man, then by all means, enjoy yourself. Just remember your choice when you’re 30 and suddenly panic because you realize you’re going to have to settle for a loser.

  86. Really you want to sleep with a guy who you don’t even know that might have STDs?

    You know? White people age really fast. By the time you hit 30, you are going to look like you are 40 with the genes you have.

  87. What you decide to do with your life in your 20s is on you, not a universal truth to be passed on as scripture.

    The biggest problem I see in your argument is you make “wanting to find someone” in your 20s a woman’s issue. It’s not, that’s a human issue. Everyone in their 20s wants to date someone and fall in love.

    • The wall and soon 4 cats.

      One thing you should understand is there is no such thing as a consequence free life. Those actions that you take in your 20’s may very well follow you into your 30’s and beyond. It’s your right if you want to be the party girl, but take it from a man: no one wants the party girl after that first night.

      Former party girl in her 30’s you say? No thanks.

    • Pump and Dump material for sure. The girls who control their slutty urges to maintain their sexual value are rewarded with LTR’s from the highest quality men.

  88. Hahaha…. there’s a place for girls like that in this world. The girl you fuck, not the girl you marry. So ya, go on and hop on the dick carousel…but while you’re of dick jumping.. the quality men will be looking for women who want a provider, respect a good man, and who haven’t fucked half of Boston. It’s a free country, and life is short, so if that’s your thing GREAT! i hope you’re happy. Just don’t be the girl complaining when there’s nothing but losers available when you get lonely later in life.

  89. I can really relate to this post, and I think you brought up a valid point. I’m personally a guy, and think this is a great piece of advice for everyone our age. Also to Michael, why would this be a woman that you would be wary to marry? (like what I did there?) To me this says a few things, the first is that she is independent and thinks for herself. The second is that she is not afraid to experience new aspects of life, which is quite valuable as you get older, and quite valuable in a partner. Third, she explicitly states that you shouldn’t just throw yourself on the first Mr. Right Now that comes along. Wait for that one specific love that will last the rest of your life. Those are all very valuable, and this is not the type of woman you should be very careful not to marry. Everything she has stated, does not say she is a hardcore party girl, there are other ways to experience life and meet new people. Grow up, Michael, and accept women as your equal, this goes for all the men commenting on this post.

    • Oh boy, and in rides the White Knight to save the poor “Slutstress In Distress”, all with the shaming language with the “grow up Michael”…Michael isn’t gonna marry this girl, and neither am I. The reality is, in today’s day in age of easy birth control, feminist “empowerment”, and the emasculation of males from the time they are little boys (being taught by their mothers, grandmothers, teachers, etc to put women on pedestals, buy them flowers, supplicate their emotions, etc), women have decided that they’re going to have their cake and eat it, too.

      I’m willing to bet my mortgage payment that whatever female authored this smut piece has passed up and rejected PLENTY of good, eligible, “nice guys” who had good careers, provider capability, and generally had their shit together. But that’s not what Little Miss Entitled here wants in her 20’s; she wants the tattooed ‘bad boy’ band member with the wavy hair and the lip piercing to get her drunk take her home, fuck her brains out, and leave the next morning. And because of the copious amounts of alcohol involved in these little trysts, birth control isn’t exactly on the forefront of their attention, and many of them invariable have children by these “bad boy” guys (just look at any dating site; chock-full of 30-somthing single mothers), because that’s such a wonderful decision to make. Then they wanna cry “deadbeat dad” when this “fuck toy” social degenerate pumps her, dumps her, then abandons her and the kid.

      Oh, now I have a kid, I’m in my early 30’s, and nooooooowwwww I wanna hop off the dick carousel and find that nice guy that I rejected 10 years ago, because now I need a provider for my baby and me, and I want to snatch up a good provider sucker before my looks have totally abandoned me. This is what women mean when they say to men “I’m done playing games”, or “I’m through getting used by players”, or “I’m looking for a “real man”. What they really mean is, “I’ve spent my 20’s getting fucked like a rag doll by guys I thought were “haaawt”, and now I need to be provided for.”

      Problem is, that guy is now ALSO in his 30’s, has even more money than he had before, but now can have the pick of the litter of the new crop of younger 20-somethings who HAVEN’T decided to slut themselves around for a decade and a half. So to answer your question, “why isn’t this a girl I would want to marry?” Because I’m not interested in some “bad boy’s” sloppy seconds, or a girl that has been passed around more times than a joint at a Snoop Dogg concert. If this girl wants to “find herself” for 10 years while having promiscuous sex, I’m going to “find myself” a younger, hotter version of her with a lot less wear and tear on the motor.

  90. I’m a highly successful and single 27 yr old male. You are the exact kind of girl I like to pump and dump. So easy! No strings attached. Almost no effort on my part required. I plan on doing girls like you for a few more years. Then when I’m ready to settle down, I’ll be happy to upgrade to a model with lower miles and much less baggage. A girl who has had 10+ dicks in her life is great for a night or two or three. When its time to buy the $10,000 ring? That will be going on the good girl who puts some value on herself and her monogamy. Biological truth: Women hit peak value around 25, and begin depreciating. Rapidly after age 30. Men appreciate in value until about 35, but the most successful continue to appreciate well into 40’s. Better think about your sexual marketplace value before you’re 38, single, childless, and have 5 cats.

  91. This article is not about “hopping on the dick carousel.” It’s about living your life to the fullest, and not getting tied down and caught up in “traditions” and norms. Live a little, drink a little, travel alot, and focus on your CAREER.

    Be strong and independent.

  92. I think you are misguided, if you want to be promiscuous then that’s your choice (though irresponsible drunk sex is something else), but men who want to settle down are going to look at your lifestyle and back off, at what point do you meet Mr Right? Its not going to be while you are still having meaningless sex because Mr Right doesn’t want a woman who wants that. So to meet Mr Right you are going to have to stop that lifestyle, which say you do…. its all going well and then you have the conversation about past relationships, you are probably going to completely emasculate him with your list of sexual encounters, as your male counterparts who have meaningless sex with ‘sluts’ are either not interested in meaningful relationships or they are the hypocritical chauvinists that claim they are going to marry the 20 year old after having slept around all they like … personally I don’t want either.

    • Lovelogic is right. Mr Right would never go for a drunken mess of a woman who sleeps with any guy who looks at her and telling him about such a past may make him want to back off. Imagine if you started dating a guy who said he was a drunken mess who slept with loads of women on a regular basis, you’d probably find it hard to trust him with not doing it again if you got into a relationship. You’d also have a completely different view of him too. You may like that lifestyle but I think these comments have made you realise that most people would prefer to keep themselves and their bodies for VIP’s only (aka Mr/Mrs Right).

  93. This is amazing insight about how to get an STD, lose any professionalism you might be able to build up, and allow yourself to be treated like a blow up doll. I am sure this entire generation thanks you.

  94. I saw some of your pictures on instagram, if you get married soon you might have a decent life and chance of a family but when you hit 30 you will have lost all of your looks and will end up having to settle for a man you are not attracted to. You already look older than you are.

    • please don’t make it that easy… and don’t think acting like this makes you being more than just a fuck. men don´t give a shit about girls like this. it’s literally not possible. you’re just a fuck. yeah I feel you… NOT. all that #yolo and #workhardplayhard shit makes you feel to just take what you want. honestly, think about it. when your really wanna act like a perfect educated and grown bitch: first do not ever fall in love again, yes again, cuz nobody will ever be able to love. second dress as cheap as possible and third look in the mirror and make the amount of alcohol did not bloated your face too much… and yes everybody can see it. I don’t ask you to think about what you really want in life, cuz we both know it’s not a different dick in your mouth every fucking week. nope it’s clearly not. and guess what, men don’t need to get blown by a different girl every week. be honest with you and figure out what you want from your life and go for it. sucking dicks, yeah #partyhard again and wasting yourself will 100% not bring you there. just think about the idea start caring for yourself. quit with people disturbing you and design yourself as the person in the life you wanna have. please just don’t make it too easy for us.
      in the end it’s you spreading legs! just make sure it’s for the right one. merci! anyway thanks for making sure my supply of lost and emotionally disrupted girls is not ending ;)

  95. All I can say is that you should live your life the way you want. If you’ve found the love of your life (which I luckily have), you shouldn’t feel guilty because you’re not going around sleeping with everyone. You should definitely not leave the love of your life just to whore about because people around you are doing so. Secretly, most wish they could have a relationship like yours.
    I’ve only ever had long term relationships since the age of 14. I matured quickly and I never had the urge to sleep with some stranger at a club like everyone else, just like I didn’t want to smoke or do drugs like most people around me. I never felt the need to fit in and so my life has evolved into something different compared to others and I’m glad that I’m not like my generation today. I am about 99% sure that I’ve now found the love of my life and I’d never give him up to be reckless! I’m only 18 but I’ve already had my fair share of hangovers, nights out and dating the wrong guys to know that it’s not that great anymore.
    It sounds like you’re almost jealous that people are moving into serious relationships before you. If you’re happy about being single and sleeping around, ruining your young healthy body, that’s up to you. But you shouldn’t try to rub that poor lifestyle choice onto those in relationships. You can still have new experiences and have a great time with your partner and tbh, clubbing gets boring real fast. Another thing you have forgotten is you can go out clubbing when you’re taken and you can go out clubbing without being used for sex. :)

  96. Wow, prudes need to chill out. I didn’t see any point that this article says YOU HAVE TO DO THIS, she is not pretending that this is good advice. She saying she personally would like to live her life and find out who she is before settling down, and who are you to judge her? As a twenty something at university, I agree wholeheartedly with this message. I see friends on Facebook getting married left right and centre, and I do not want to be pressured into finding ‘the one’ and mistaking him for some arsehole. I’d rather go out and make my mistakes and enjoy my younger years. This does not make me stupid or a slut, for those of you labelling this woman as that. People comment that they have a good job and savings and engagements at this age, well done. Seriously. But those of us who are taking a little bit longer to come around to your way of thinking don’t want your achievement and pressure shoved down out throats, thanks. I get enough of that from my parents.

  97. These sort of articles make me sick to my stomach. This drivel is nothing more than a poorly worded piece on the narcissistic, self-aggradinizing, nasty, unrealistic demands of a generation of bar-hopping navel-gazers. Coupled with a not-to-subtle tones of hypocrisy that women can demand everything and anything of men and the world while men can’t ask for even the most basic of human dignity from the opposite sex is the real reason men aren’t getting married, don’t call but only text, call you ‘hoe’ and ‘slut’ and have a general attitude of disgust for the ‘fairer’ sex. Ladies, get real! This garbage needs to be called-out every time it rears it’s ugly head or men and women are just going to be bitter, lonely, unfulfilled alcoholics who think the problem is with everyone else and never themselves. Good grief. Don’t believe? Travel a little bit? Learn a foreign language. You aren’t ‘all that’, ladies. Better stop kidding yourselves and cut out all of this attitude. It’s not attractive. Men are judging you based on it, :)!

  98. Thrust into the world as new adults, people in their 20’s are still developing their identities. The traits we build into ourselves in our twenties will likely get carried with us through our whole lives. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be promiscuous, but just know you may end up carrying that trait with you longer than you think. It’s like drugs, or work ethic if you want a positive example. Rare is the person who wakes up one day after a life of laziness and suddenly has the work ethic of a med school graduate. Be the person you want to be, but don’t expect it to be so easy to drop your promiscuous lifestyle as soon as you find this Mr. Right fellow. Relationships are built, and being in any committed relationship requires work. If you are trying to be in an exclusive relationship someday, it could prove itself helpful to practice being in an exclusive relationship now. If you want your life to be one big fuckfest with strangers, by all means continue. There’s no shame in choosing that route if it suits you.

  99. Sounds like the author has some pretty deep relationship issues. Probably hurt real bad in tr past by someone, decides to now “make the most of it” by blazing through the rest of available “sexy guys”. Doesn’t realise that past relationship issues are equally hers, and probably needs some deep soul searching / shit sorting instead of a superficial dick binge. Find yourself before you find someone else.

  100. In ten years time, this woman will be old(er), ugly(er), fat(ter), and will have to regularly see her doctor for treatments for her liver and vagina, which are slowly being eaten by all the nasty things she’s put into herself. She will age at an impressive rate (see: The Wall(TM)).

    She will also have memory problems from all the alcohol: she will come across as a horribly stupid and vacant slag. She’ll regularly forget what she did or said five minutes beforehand – and with her demonstrated inability to control her feelings, when people pick her up on it, she’ll get angry and defensive – people interpret such behaviour to mean she’s a pathological liar.

    After stupidly jumping into bed with men she thinks she deserves – but those guys have much better options than a diseased, well-used party slut – she’ll have some kids, all guaranteed to be by different fathers. Without any male role model, any boys will end up in jail, and any girls… well, they’ll end up just like their mother. They’ll all run away from home by their 16th birthdays at any rate, and she’ll never see them again – outside of a courtroom, anyway.

    At this point, she’ll be a 40-something, used-up, burnt-out old slut. In order to feed her validation circuit, she’ll STILL jump into bed with any guy who looks game – while still blaming men for the horrible life she’s had, that she screwed up horribly. She’ll spread STDs around her local town. Hatred will build for her, and she’ll be ostracised from society.

    She’ll spend the last 20-30 years of her life on welfare, with nothing but her cats for company, until one of the horrid things she did to her body when she was younger finally comes home to roost: a death panel will decide that she’s not worth the money to replace her liver, or the experimental anti-biotics to fix the latest flare-up of an STD that’s eating her brain, and she will die alone and unloved.

    Her children won’t even attend her funeral, being either in jail, or trying to treat the symptoms of their own STDs (or possibly drug habits) – even if they weren’t, this woman, having absolutely nothing to show for her life, will have nothing for her kids to come home to claim, anyway.

    I almost feel sorry for this woman… ALMOST. If she had just listened, back in her 20s, to the dozens, nay hundreds, of posters who offered her a series of nine-foot high, flashing neon warnings about taking this path, she might have avoided this horrible fate.

    But because she didn’t, I have no sympathy – and neither will anyone else. The same goes for any woman who listens to her.

  101. please don’t make it that easy… and don’t think acting like this makes you being more than just a fuck. men don´t give a shit about girls like this. it’s literally not possible. you’re just a fuck. yeah I feel you… NOT. all that #yolo and #workhardplayhard shit makes you feel to just take what you want. honestly, think about it. when your really wanna act like a perfect educated and grown bitch: first do not ever fall in love again, yes again, cuz nobody will ever be able to love. second dress as cheap as possible and third look in the mirror and make the amount of alcohol did not bloated your face too much… and yes everybody can see it. I don’t ask you to think about what you really want in life, cuz we both know it’s not a different dick in your mouth every fucking week. nope it’s clearly not. and guess what, men don’t need to get blown by a different girl every week. be honest with you and figure out what you want from your life and go for it. sucking dicks, yeah #partyhard again and wasting yourself will 100% not bring you there. just think about the idea start caring for yourself. quit with people disturbing you and design yourself as the person in the life you wanna have. please just don’t make it too easy for us.
    in the end it’s you spreading legs! just make sure it’s for the right one. merci! anyway thanks for making sure my supply of lost and emotionally disrupted girls is not ending ;)

  102. I usually cannot take these 20-something, hoorah-type lists/pseudo-advice column blog posts. At first, I thought that this one’s aim was simply to relieve some of the guilt those of us who are trying (ie. in school, working towards something, with a passion and a savings account, etc.) might have. I thought that it might be a way to say “it’s okay” to those of us who sometimes slip up and do spend a bit too much on alcoholic purchases, or are confused about our life partner, or who want to let off some steam once in a while. I thought it was a reminder to enjoy ourselves at this age, even if we need to grow, help others, save money, and work towards success (like I’ve seen some people say we ought to do in our twenties). However, after reading the comments, I began to think that in fact this article might have been pushing towards abandoning responsibilities and being dishonest with yourself, and instead advising to mask it with alcohol, purchases, and sex. I did not think that this article actually did that, originally, but I can see why some do think this.

    After reading it through, I came to a conclusion: these 20-something advice posts; these rules to live by… the absolute musts of a young, confused adult are just fluff. The twenty-something years are years that should not define us and should not be defined by others. The sentiment is nice, but I believe that these kind of rule books confuse us even more. It puts pressure on our perceptions of external social standards and makes us question our place in the world. The fact is that some people do not do what they really want until they are forty. Some do not write the book they always wanted to until 55 (some people do not even have enough time, actually, to accomplish their great goals until these older ages). Some people do not love their bodies, also, until they are sixty. Some people have kids at sixteen and grow to become stable and happy with that choice, while others do not have kids until their late thirties when they were worried it might not happen. Some people find a life partner in their twenties, and some lose them in their mid-forties. Some do not find the “right” partner until their second marriage, and some do not even live long enough to tell. My parents, in their mid-fifties, party more than I do, and have themed parties to boot, take vacations, and laugh a ton. They are more stable and financially capable of doing so! My point, then, is that the twenties are not this fleeting, extraordinary bunch of years to hold onto and to expect anything from, really. Going at one’s own pace is important.

    I will put the disclaimer here that perhaps I am oversimplifying this, but I think it’s important to keep in mind that no day is better than any other day, and that the twenties should not be glorified as much. We seem self-conscious and worried. I certainly feel that way, and I wish to extinguish it.

  103. Ok, so maybe we all don’t agree with everything in the article. But when was the last time you agreed with everything anyone thought of? I can voucher for the article that settling in your 20’s can be an awful decision. I go tarried at 20 and had an amazing 16 years… Surprise, surprise, he walked out on me for a 20 something year old and lwft me with our two kids. As a single mother , I see through the looking glass that I was more ready to settle the he was. If only I didn’t stick to the obsession it is for girls to have that “fairy tale” ending, and had give my self an opportunity to grow and learn about who I was, I may have given my self more time before jumping over the edge of “love”.

  104. “Women are the most independent they have ever been in the history of society, think back even just twenty years ago, women in a business setting were almost unheard of.”

    Um, honey. 20 years ago was 1994. Women in a business setting were certainly “heard of.” And I don’t know that one who self-identifies as a “hot mess” is the best person to be giving advice.

    That said, I completely agree with the general gist of your post. As someone in their late 20s (ew, omg I swear I was just 19 yesterday), I agree that your 20s is meant to be a time of exploration and getting to know oneself before committing to a relationship. That said, different strokes for different folks.

  105. I stopped reading after I read the “Inspirational quote” pictures which paint a picture of love as something that just happens and is perfect and you coast through it. Love, like anything worthwhile, takes a lot of work. There’s no such thing as an effortless relationship and anyone that says otherwise hasn’t gotten to the end of the “Honeymoon” phase of their relationship yet.

  106. I am 41, found this blog somehow. Been through the 20’s and the 30’s. The author of this article is right. Live your life, explore, find out who you are before you go settling down. You’ll thank me and this author when you’re 40.

  107. I maybe don’t agree with the “living recklessly” portion of this article. But I do agree with waiting for the RIGHT person. I’m sure many people have found the ONE in their 20’s, but those who haven’t shouldn’t settle because of the pressure! Keep fishin’ if you feel it’s true :)

  108. Why shouldn’t I settle down in my 20s? Why can’t I be with ONE GUY that I enjoy spending time with, and go out with him? Is it so bad that the same person I go out and get drunk and dance with is the same guy I come home to every night? What if I (*GASP!*) actually enjoy being tied down? What if my idea of a good time isn’t going out and getting hit on by creepy guys, then being hung titties the next day? What if my idea of a good time is hanging out with my guy, drinking beer and playing cards? Does that mean I’m bad at being 20 years old? Does that mean I’m not enjoying myself. I highly doubt that. I’m all for long nights and shots and dancing my feet off… just with my boyfriend somewhere in that mix.

  109. Well this girl can speak for herself but I hope she enjoys wasting her time having meaningless sex with tinder boys. I’m tired of reading these posts from young adults. If you don’t plan to date until you’re 30, good luck trying to have a healthy pregnancy and baby when you’re in your 40s. It sounds all great to be wild and free and having fun in your twenties but hey, I’m doing that along side my best friend in the world, my boyfriend who I plan on marrying soon and starting a family by young. I’ve had those experiences being wild and sleeping around and really it gets old fast, I would not want to spend 10 years doing that, no thank you. Do what you want, don’t be afraid to fall in love, and enjoy life, because it’s the only life you get.

  110. I think the main purpose of this was to explain what you could do verses settling. I fully support the idea that you have the rest of your life to settle down, to have kids, or whatever that ideal life would be, but I think this is to motivate young women to not settle so quickly so they don’t have to deal with regret later. And even so, this is more of just an article of do what you want to do to make yourself happy and not settle for anything less than that.
    If it makes you happy to get drunk and wild then, do so. As an adult, because that is what we are, we need to learn responsibility and limitations and if we cannot find those then that is a whole different problem aside from this blog.
    All I know is I would rather regret doing something (in reasonable regard) than have the regret of not doing something. After I live my life fully, I want to die with closure, not wonder.

  111. This sounds like someone who’s relationship life is upside and is trying to compensate that with one night stands and partying. She’s the kind of person who wakes up 40 years old, single, and alone for the rest of her life. I party, club, vacation, have a great job, and an amazing relationship at 23. You have a lot of maturing to do.

    • She is the kind of woman that will find a man when she’s ready. You’re the kind that has a really small mind and loves to judge people when you feel you’re doing much better.

  112. “think back even just twenty years ago, women in a business setting were almost unheard of”

    I don’t think women working was really that “unheard of” in 1994.

  113. There are much better ways to find yourself in your 20s than excessive drinking, going to work hungover, blowing money, and sleeping with every “sexy guy” you see. Where are your morals and values? Are these things you want to have to explain to your children that you did? Be a role model and respect yourself a little. If you do not respect yourself, who will? What man will? I will agree a girl should use her 20s to find herself, have fun, and become independent. However, that entails connecting with your inner self, finding your passion, setting goals and reaching them, traveling, developing healthy habits to carry with your for the rest of your life, spending time with friends and family, and simply doing the things you enjoy. I am still in my 20s and I am continuing to enjoy these years, grow, and take care of myself before I am worried about a relationship. I pray for you and hope you are able to find the role model you need to make better use of your 20s.

  114. These comments are ridiculous. This is an article based on something that the author believes and supports. I think everyone reading this needs to be a little more open minded and accepting. I’m very happy for all of the 20 something’s that are happily married with families and careers, and I’m happy for the 20 something’s that are getting drunk and partying. Everyone lives their life differently, everyone has different thoughts, opinions, views and beliefs, it’s 2014. If someone is living a different lifestyle then you, then let them do it. Someone having a different lifestyle than you does not make a person “dumb”, “immature”, “spoiled”, “slutty” or any of the words mentioned above. We have one life to live, everyone makes mistakes and hopefully will learn from them, you might as well try to have fun. While I don’t think it’s a good idea to get drunk when I have to be somewhere at 8am the next day, that might be an idea of fun to someone else, so let that someone else do what they want to do. I understand that everyone has their own morals and beliefs, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but is the mature way to really be calling people morons for voicing their opinion? Maybe a 24 year old doesn’t want to settle down, she wants to be selfish and work and enjoy life, and then there’s the 24 year old that went to school and is happily married with two kids and another one on the way. If something makes you happy, then do it. Everyone will judge regardless or your actions, it’s unfortunately how the world works. Some people got a lot from this article and some people are very upset with this article. I think it’s all how one perceives it and how one wants to balance their life.

  115. I think people are taking this too seriously, the point of the article is to live by your instincts, dont hesitate and live life at full pace. If for some that has nothing to do with partying then take it how you will. For the majority this means staying out of monotonous relationships that will detract from your life experience.

  116. Terrible article and very poor writing. Unfortunately she isn’t funny nor does every girl won’t such an unhealthy life for 10 years in your 20’s. Some of us have bigger and better aspirations than drinking every weekend and hooking up with any hot guy. This is such a sad thing to be sharing & promoting to young women and girls very bad role model. Guess what you can have fun in your 20’s with a man or without a man with kids or without them and having a career and or goals

  117. You guys are really missing the point of the article. And i’m going to take a guess that most of the “haters” are young women who are already married with children and “happy” (for now, it dont last, trust me) so give it a break already with your complaining. Living young wild and free (in a good way) is the best way to go while you’re young but if it isn’t for you then FINE, don’t blame others for not wanting to be stay at home wives at 23. You tell me what your happy memories will be in your 80s and in your deathbed.

        • If I decided I wanted a husband, I’d want one that was good for me, and what is a good husband for me may not be ideal to someone else. I don’t really look at it as “worthy” or “unworthy.” That sounds entirely shallow and entitled. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a good match for you, and my comment to Mike may have been a little snarky, but he insinuates that if you take the advice in the article, that you aren’t going to be a worthy wife. I’m actually interested in exactly how he came to that conclusion and any expansions on that note he might have to offer. I don’t think a woman’s 20s should be considered her “throw away years” where she can just party it all away and not think about where her life is going, but I don’t think the opposite is true either. The general idea is live a little, get to know yourself, and then settle down, that is, if settling down is for you. I don’t think the marriage and babies route is for everyone. Actually I’d be willing to bet many divorces are stemmed from those to settled too early before they lived enough to know themselves and those who blindly thought that this is what people are supposed to do.

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  119. Party your 20’s away, go for it.

    But don’t be too terribly shocked when there isn’t a white knight in shining armor ready to win the prize of marrying you’re beaten up pussy when you’re in your 30’s.

  120. women have changed…. no doubt.

    but so have men!!

    “no rings for sluts” is a recent slogan going around the manosphere.

    Enjoy your cats and your STD’s in your old age, Kaleigh !

    PS: the top-level men don’t want to take responsibility for your sky-high college debts, either. Hope you can get a job with that Sociology degree, girl.

  121. “I have these gnawing thoughts at the back of my head about the shitty lifestyle I’m leading, I wonder what to do about it…”

    “I know! I’ll write a blog article about all the awful stuff I do, tell other people they should do it too because that’s the way to have fun! That will clear my conscience and drag other people into the abyss with me!”

    It’s so obvious that this article is simply a vehicle for the author to justify a lifestyle that she herself has second thoughts about.

    You’re late 20s. You’re not 16 anymore. Have some dignity and stop this shit.

  122. Wow. Lots of people hating on this article. Who cares? It’s funny. I like this article. Good work.

    I’m 29, and turning 30 in a couple of weeks. I have a college degree, 5-year-long career, and I own a condo. I’ve popped some mollies and nursed killer hangovers with aleve, a million candle lit bubble baths. Oh, and as much fun as I’ve had…I’ve never missed a day of work to nurse a hangover. I think this article is great. I can relate to it. I haven’t seen 100 dollars in my bank account since college, but I’ve definitely skated on thin ice a couple of times. (I also used to work at the mall, so yeah.)

    Anyway, I think the people hating on it must have it “really hard”. (Sarcasm.) I agree with what she says, mostly. She’s being a little provocative because that’s a writer, and that’s her job. I don’t think she really thinks every woman in her twenties should date five men at one time. But, I get her point. Too many women settle at 23, get married, get fat, and have kids, and then cheat on their husbands. (Hate on me. It’s fine. I work in reality tv and watch a lot of Lifetime.)

    Think what you want. Nicely written. I like your style.

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